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@angstprincess95

yogurt for breakfast
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angstprincess95

I don't have the emotional strength to deal with poverty right now or homelessness but like I am disabled but my disability is invisible so I get gaslit all the time and I love when people give me permission to not fucking listen to Ableist people's bullshit because I don't have to convince or argue with people who believe me and I am giving myself permission to avoid shit that I don't deserve to put myself through out of compassion for myself. Though like I have so much rage because it is fucking hard going without help and the resources I need because people don't understand my disability or believe stereotypes stigma and none of that is my fucking fault so fuck them anyway. Honestly. Also I will find a way but right now I just want to play with toys in the shower.

#undiagnosed asd#finding a diagnosis is impossible when all professionals do is gaslight me#also i have bpd likely from the environment i grew up around an alcoholic chronic relapser and have had asd since i was little#they could have diagnosed me they suspected i was asd but never did#that's not my fault#i have bpd symptoms too#i sometimes only trust other nd people bc allistic people prey on me or bpick on me but think I'm just weird rather than recognizing me#i have no idea were the toys i want are but i used to have this fold up plastic doll house thaat was beach themed and i would pretend that#the shower was rain#i really think regressing is a coping mechanism for me and i don't really like ddlg for that reason#regression#comfort toys#trying to get in touch with the young me that didn't get a normal childhood#i am trying to get on disability#they think my disability ended#the whole process has been very taxing to my mental health not good for my mental health#i just want to play with my toys#i wish we had more fs#my partner is sick#i am really discouraged but showering has been a time i can connect with myself#i have been putting it off for days#neglecting everything#i don't know why