i think at some point in life you are going to have to grapple with the fact that nobody is going to just perfectly fit into your idea of them, and nobody is going to slot into your life without any uncomfortable bumps or rubbing of edges, and nobody is going to follow the script you want them to follow or thought they would follow because the people around you, shockingly, are not cardboard cutouts. at some point in life you WILL need to face the, surprisingly, real and messy interiority of other people. and you are going to have to learn to grant them the same nuance, agency and consideration you grant yourself, or want to be granted. and you are going to have to learn to make grace an important factor in what you say and what you assume about others bc i guarantee there is no shortage of grace being offered to you at some point in your life, and not in some transactional sense either but bc it is not that difficult to pause for literally 2 mintues and give people the space to be human and then just....move on with your life.