Nothing on tiktok is this funny
rabbits know and resent their place on the food chain
mice and rats also know they're prey animals, they just have such joy of living that it cancels out. guinea pigs have no concept of death but understand contextless fear. hamsters however do know the food chain, but they also know that attachment to the earth is the root of suffering and they wisely deny the faults of the ego
The longer I live the more I realize I just wanna be well fed and bottom nude all the time
Ok and???? Was he or was he not our Cunt King
This is my new favorite compliment
sure, fine, your characters kissed, whatever. have they rested their foreheads together yet
"ooh you hate cops but who are you gonna call when you get robbed?" uhhhhh your moms house? a great tragedy has befallen me and i need to have sex immediately
Every time someone’s like “who are you gonna call when you get robbed?”
1. Know how I know you’ve never been robbed?
2. I am going to call my insurance company and file a claim, the only usefulness a cop has at this point is generating a report number for said insurance company to refer to
3. Seriously all a cop’s gonna do after establishing that the robber/burglar/whoever isn’t there anymore is say “what do you want me to do about it?” and leave
Why Wayne got socks in the jacuzzi
those are his hooves you bitch
This post changed us fundamentally
this is where i watched my parents die, raphael
raph, who’s known this man for all of 3 hours :
based on a tumblr post pls add if it you find it.
me at 4 am: i should get some water
me in my head: i can’t because five nights at freddy’s will be at. the fridge
“Moon…” You use your sternest voice possible like someone would their pet when they were about to do something they were trained not to do. “No.”
“Moon, YES!”
“Moony, don’t— ” Sun tries to grab hold of his sibling as he pushes past him. “Moon!”
“God DAMNIT, Moon Moon!” You throw the wipes on the floor as you and Sun begin running after the slightly-more-unhinged-than-usual Moon.
You want to say you don’t get paid nearly enough for this but that would be lying. You probably got paid more than a few salaried positions out there.
“Why are you like this?!” You cry out, but Moon doesn’t even acknowledge you. Too blinded by a combination of rage and nighttime protocols.
Besides, it was a stupid question.
You already knew why he was like this.
tumblr will always be a better website than twitter because you can only retweet a tweet once, whereas on this website if i really like a post i can make my followers scroll past it twelve times in a row