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Got needlefelting supplies for Christmas

Sometimes when I'm trying to figure out a thorny coding problem my cats will hop up on my desk and start peering intently at the screen with me because they want to know what's so interesting, and I know they have no idea what they're looking at, but I'm not gonna lie, I appreciate the moral support.

Photo by sayan Nath

The Onion pulling zero fucking punches.

a special treat for those of us who enjoy watching sam reich torture his friends and/or employees

One time I brought one of my rocks with me on a plane to touch to calm me down during the flight, but it fell out of my pocket on my way back to the bathroom and then as soon as i realized this they actually announced “did anyone lose…… . A rock” over the loudspeaker system.

When I went up to claim it the plane man, clearly unable to throw off the shackles of his training in the procedure of asking for people’s full names and birthdates when they come to claim wallets, said “wait no, first tell me what color it is so I know it’s really yours”

He seemed to realize this was stupid directly after saying it and kind of smiled like to make it a joke but the joke was on him bc I Described the fucking rock to him for like 30 solid seconds

…anyway. that was an interaction I had once

this is like the only viral post that i dont regret making at ALL

Non binary office bat boogie!

Better viewing here

This is probably my most well known embroidery animation. The main goal with this one was to see how complex I could make a character design in this medium and still have it be feasible to make. The answer is: about this complex, lol. After this one I began bringing in bits of fabric so that I could still have complex designs but make things a little faster for myself.

Some different frames from the non binary office bat boogie! The smear frames were my favourite part to sew.

I genuinely think @staff should give us an official Bot Kill Count where it ticks up every time a bot you reported is officially taken off by the tumblr team and when you hit a certain number you get gruesome little trophies. Gamification can be of the devil but in this particular case I need a little treat for doing my daily chore of taking out the trash

lets do that thing that Philadelphia did with the bugs

really really not enough people in the united states understand that the reason there is a free breakfast and lunch program in US schools is because of the Black Panther Party's Breakfast for Children program. it's so important to know this. you can't be educated about US history or about the relationship between the US government, US poverty, US formal education, and Black resistance movements without knowing this.

I don't want to be unclear. When I say "because of the BPP's Breakfast for Children program" I do not mean that the Panthers had some sort of lobbying program that advocated for children to be fed breakfast at schools which was met with some kind of positive recognition by the United States government. I mean that the Panthers had a program that fed Black children breakfast before school, and J Edgar Hoover described the Black Panther Party as "the greatest threat to internal security of the country" and the Breakfast for Children program as "the greatest threat to efforts by authorities to neutralize the BPP and destroy what it stands for." Media coverage of the Breakfast for Children program exposed U.S. child hunger on an international scale, and the program itself nurtured Black revolutionary community, and in order to ameliorate the former and undermine the latter, the United States federal government was forced to institute a program to feed children breakfast in schools. Almost 80 years later there remains in the United States an assumption that children should and will have access to breakfast and lunch at school and it is because of how much Hoover feared the Panthers. (Quotes are findable various places including this article.)

realised that i have been wrongly treating myself as if i am a small little bonsai tree who exists to live beautifully and look beautiful and must be pruned and shaped with wire and kept in the right conditions. but that isn’t what i want to live like. i want to be a very sturdy decades old forest-dwelling tree that pays no attention to its own beauty and only exists to deepen its roots into the world and feel the sun on it and grow some more and more. do you understand what i mean…

Starting a collection

My dad is a kroger manager and sent me this (repost without personal info)

they thought 1 lb stood for “one little bean”

first day as a second century warlord i have my men tie branches to their horses’ tails to stir up dust and make it look like there’s a lot of us but i forget it just rained so there isn’t any dust and the enemy can clearly see there’s like twenty of us all spread out in a line

second day as a second century warlord i bribe a bunch of kids to start singing a nursery rhyme i carefully crafted to spread misinformation and further my strategic ends but they change the lyrics to be about poop and the enemy isn’t misdirected at all

third day as a second century warlord i lure my enemy into a narrow valley and send a team of archers to shoot them from the high ground but there was a feral hog napping on the trail up to the overlook and they couldn’t decide whether to try and shoot it or just go around and by the time the hog woke up and left on its own the enemy had already passed safely below

fourth day as a second century warlord we attempt to join a battle on the side of the guy we want to ally with but he and the guy he’s fighting have really similar names and it’s finally dusty and i misread the standards and attack the wrong guy. so now we’re stuck with this total loser of a liege lord, because how the fuck do you explain that after a battle?

fifth day as a second century warlord and some sort of wizard wanders into camp, my loser liege lord wants to execute him for being a wizard but i convince him to let the wizard stay, because i want to do more weather-based strategies and i’m pretty sure having a camp wizard can help with that. after the welcome to the team banquet the wizard steals half the treasury and my liege lord’s wife and leaves

sixth day as a second century warlord my loser liege lord sends me to reinforce a city he’s taken, but in the confusion of leaving i forgot to take the token that would have gotten us into the city, so my men have to wait outside the city walls for like eight hours while i ride back to get it

seventh day as a second century warlord and my loser liege lord finally joins me in the city, it turns out he’s actually a pretty cool guy, and he isn’t even that mad at me for letting the wizard steal his wife. i decide to shoot my shot but i’m really nervous and keep on stalling because what if i mess up our relationship and by extension jeopardize the security of my men, and eventually he just says goodnight and goes back to his room, where an assassin is in the process of setting up to kill him

eighth day as a second century warlord and my loser liege lord tells me to fake defect to his rival warlord, the one i originally wanted to ally with, to find out if he was the one who sent the assassin and why. but my whole way over to the rival warlord i’m worried that this has something to do with the wizard thing or how awkward i made it last night

ninth day as a second century warlord i try to tactfully ask my fake liege lord if he sent the assassin to kill my loser liege lord and it turns out the idea of using assassins never occurred to him, but now that i’ve suggested it he’s really into it. in order to save my loser liege lord i volunteer to be the one to kill him

tenth day as a second century warlord on my way back to my loser liege lord’s city i realize i won’t be able to collect my men from my fake liege lord until i bring back my loser liege lord’s head. this would have been a great thing to think of before i got myself in this situation. i go back to my loser liege lord and ask him to rescue my men, and he tells me that if he could sack my fake liege lord’s camp he already would have. that doesn’t change the fact that my men are still trapped. they’re prisoners, even. i go back to my room to sulk

eleventh day as a second century warlord i find a little caged pigeon in the rafters of my loser liege lord’s room and deduce it belonged to the assassin. without asking permission or telling my loser liege lord goodbye i let the pigeon loose and follow it north. don’t ask what i was doing in my loser liege lord’s room. it’s not important

twelfth day as a second century warlord i disguise myself as a wizard and enter the camp of the coalition leader the pigeon led me to. in the middle of my little sleight of hand performance i make eye contact with the coalition leader’s second-in-command. IT’S THE WIZARD THAT STOLE MY LOSER LIEGE LORD’S WIFE. after the banquet i corner the fake wizard and ask him what the fuck is going on and he just says “wouldn’t you like to know” and leaves. i don’t know what to say to that so i just let him go

thirteenth day as a second century warlord i’m honestly so sick of not knowing what’s going on, so i adjust my wizard costume to passably disguise myself as a woman and break into the women’s area of the camp, where sure enough my loser liege lord’s wife is. i ask her what she’s doing here and she tells me the fake wizard overheard her singing a poem she overheard on the street, not knowing it contains the coalition leader’s formation’s weaknesses. the fake wizard kidnapped her and assigned an assassin to kill her husband before they figured out the poem’s significance. she shares the first couplet with me but i’m discovered and thrown out before she can share any more. she doesn’t need to. through a bizarre coincidence of homophones, it’s the poop version of my misinformation nursery rhyme

fourteenth day as a second century warlord i go back to my loser liege lord and tell him everything, urging him to join with my fake liege lord to attack the coalition leader according to the weaknesses in the nursery rhyme. he tells me frankly that he doesn’t trust me anymore. i ask him to execute me if that’s really true, because i can’t bear to live if i can’t protect him and i can’t protect my men. he agrees to attack the coalition leader

fifteenth day as a second century warlord. due to the information in the nursery rhyme, and thanks to my loser liege lord reminding me of the weather conditions multiple times while planning our battle strategy, our alliance carries the day. my loser liege lord gets his wife back. my men tell me that our fake liege lord actually treated them really well and they’d like to stay with him if i don’t mind. i do mind, now that neither the men i love nor the man i love have any use for me, but i don’t tell them that

sixteenth day as a second century warlord i’m preparing to leave to i don’t know where, maybe to try to become a wizard for real, when my loser liege lord stops me and asks me where i’m going. he says he had hoped i would continue to work as his advisor. i was unaware i was his advisor in the first place. i agree, and he tells me he’s truly honored to have me in his service at last. he has known i am a rare and talented man with a strategic intelligence far above his ever since the day he witnessed me tying branches to my horses’ tails in six inches of mud, and could not for the life of him figure out why

is this Tumblr university

HEY! No one toucha my beans okay?

Toucha

I'm calling my lawer

this is the best thing i’ve painted in my entire life

(also ive got prints of it heehoo)

it is winter everywhere inside you

buy me a coffee