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Mad dreamer.

@andipetrova1

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Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn’t it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life…You give them a piece of you. They didn’t ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn’t your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like ‘maybe we should be just friends’ turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It’s a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.

Neil Gaiman, The Sandman, Vol. 9: The Kindly Ones (via books-n-quotes)

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I wonder if I am your 11:11 wish, the one you’re wishing upon every falling star, the one who makes your butterflies alive and the one you’re dreaming of. I am full of what-ifs, always wondering and thinking of your thoughts about me. I feel nervous when I’m near you, how much more if I find myself talking to you. You are the gentle breeze who took my heart by storm. I feel my heart beats as I try to breathe deeply. I hear echoes, an endless one. My heart echoes your name. It screams your name venerated all over.
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I don’t think people understand that having a mental illness is literally being at war with yourself. It’s a feeling of discomfort in your own skin. It’s knowing what you should do but not being able to do it. It’s living hell and it’s not something that you can just stop.