My Mom just accidentally prematurely sent an email to an accounting firm… It was supposed to say ‘I am afraid that we will have to postpone our meeting”
but she hit send when all it said was
Hi Jeffrey, I am afraid
Signing Off
Hey, folks reading this! I was waiting to hit my exact 10 year mark as some sort of poetic goodbye, but I’ve decided today is as good a day as any.
I joined tumblr when I was 17. A few of my friends had already used it for a year or two before me, so it was a splash of peer pressure, boredom, and curiosity that made me sign up. Yes, I’m aware that made tumblr sound like a drug. And no, this isn’t going to turn into some lecture about social media addiction.
I joined tumblr when I was SEVENTEEN! I’m twenty freaking seven! I had just graduated high school when I made this account, and now I’m a working stiff with a masters degree, who has moved halfway across the country from home (and am about to move a few more time zones away!).
Tumblr has been such a uniquely fascinating place where I’ve been swept up in fandoms (and had the god forsaken word “fandom” added to my vocabulary in the first place), found new interests and common ground, and been able to have an outlet for my ridiculous stories and anecdotes. I’ve connected with friends from high school and college, connected with friends I’ve never met in person, gone to different countries to visit new friends, and overall felt like a part of a confusing community with no real consistency or organization. And I loved that. This is such a bizarre place where there’s some semblance of mainstream legitimacy and structure, yet it’s so impossible to monetize that it hasn’t become a hellscape like Facebook or Instagram. It’s unlike so many places online.
I occasionally used this site as a public diary read only by the few followers I had, like an inside joke written on a bathroom stall door. Once I made a couple posts years ago that gained traction, suddenly I had a few thousand people following me (and many more visiting my page and creating traffic) until I didn’t know what I was using this for anymore. I kept on as usual, but wasn’t sure how this functioned as an outlet. I didn’t care about trying to use that traction to gain a following or to create content, but suddenly my posts had an audience. It was validating at times and hurtful at worst. If I reblogged a friend’s personal post with opinions and it got notes, my friends would find themselves responding to inbox messages or in sudden online arguments. I don’t want to be a conduit to that.
I definitely don’t mean to sound so full of myself or like I have any sway. I’ve already been extremely absent from this site, and I bet a majority of my followers are bots at this point! It is wild to me that a story I posted online is shared across multiple sites and social media pages, and has been copied by tiktok stars, Twitter users, and was even copped for Jimmy Fallon. What a wild fucking world we live in.
But for those of you who put the time into reading this stream of consciousness, thank you. Thanks to those who have become my IRL friends. Thanks to those who keep in touch. Thanks to those whom I hope I won’t lose the same level of contact once I sign off for good. Thanks to those I may not be able to keep contact with at all, but who have sent me kind messages over the years or who have stuck around for a long time and interacted with me. You made this a really fun experience.
I’ve shared a lot on here over the years, and have decided to leave just a few select posts that make me smile instead of deactivating this page. If you’re reading this and you’ve been here a while, I hope you live a life that is full and kind and that builds you up with enough positive resilience to weather the storms.
If you’re just tuning in to my page because you saw the Jeffrey post... yes, it really happened. No, he didn’t respond. Yes, he’s still my mom’s accountant. No, she’s not afraid.
My name is Mary, and I’m a person, just like you.
On a roadtrip home for the holidays and I decided to take my skeleton with me.
The following things happened
- Two girls on a roadtrip stopped dead at a gas station, laughed, and asked me why I had this
- A handful of photos were taken of me/the skeleton by cars passing me on the turnpike
- A toll booth operator stood in front of my car, blocking me, while calling other toll booth peeps to take a look
- A man pumping gas told me that if I didn’t put a jacket on I’d catch pneumonia and “end up like that guy” (gesturing at my skeleton)
But my favorite by far:
- Taco Bell drive through lady who gave me a shocked look and said “oh my god”. I was already exhausted from driving 7 hours so I was like “yeah yeah it’s a fake skeleton” and she replied “oh!! I didn’t even see him” and tbh it just occurred to me that I have NO IDEA WHY SHE WAS SO SHOCKED IF SHE DIDNT NOTICE THE SKELETON
jacquez45
I feel like your skeleton would be friends with my porch skeleton, Jack.
Omfg I LOVE THIS. Also my skeleton is named Jack, too. Captain Jack Marrow.
Here he is in his holiday digs (featuring a disembodied Santa head):
So last night a bunch of my friends and I went to Denny’s for some breakfast-for-dinner and I couldn’t decide on what I wanted, so I told the waiter “I want a lot of eggs.” “How many eggs do you want?” “How many can I get?” “I mean if you get a Make Your Own Slam you can get up to 8..” “I would like a questionable amount of eggs, please. Scrambled, so that I don’t know how many there are.” And boy did he deliver. The manager came out to present the eggs (because, as our waiter joked, this plate of eggs was too much of a health risk for anyone but the manager to be liable for serving me), and said “….who’s responsible for this?” I started crying out of excitement/joy/fear (no lie. it was embarrassing) Anyway, this heavenly plate of eggs filled the entire plate and was about an inch deep (there were 2 layers of eggs in it! with cheese in the middle!!) The waiter kept joking “You’re not getting a box. You have to finish it! You chose this!” I tipped him 100% out of pure shame (plus he was a rad dude). Thank you Denny’s. Thank you.