A long time ago I took a course on the sociology of marriage and my professor said “With compromise, you both lose. As a couple, you must collaborate on the best possible outcome.” Ever since, I never prioritize compromise in a relationship, only collaboration.
I don’t really go on here anymore, but I think that’s why I decided to post here because it’s just a place for me to journal and not many people will read it. I’ve been reading a lot of people writing how 2016 sucked and how they are so excited for 2017. To be honest, I think it’s terrible that people think that way. Every year will be filled with good and bad for everyone. What you decide to do with the hardships and struggles, or the joy and happiness, is your own decision. I completely understand how people vary on their ability to handle different situations, but I don’t believe in generalizing an entire year as being terrible and thinking that just because it’s technically a new year, it will all miraculously change. You still have to handle the hardships that come your way. Believe me, I’m not without my own issues. I’ve had a lot of them, and I still do. Aside from very random mood swings, I have discovered that I myself have addiction problems. I have always been someone who overdoes everything. I overanalyze, overthink, overwork, overeat, and I finally came to terms with the reality that i over drink. I had terrible things happen for years whenever I drank and it took me until August 28th, 2016 to truly grasp it. I become a nasty person when I drink and make stupid and foolish mistakes. The last terrible night of drinking I had was on August 28th. My sister dropped me off at a friends house at about 7:30pm. I was calling her blacked out no less than and hour and a half later. I’ve always found it difficult to stop throwing back drinks once I started. Soon the happy and funny Shannon turned into the messy, mean and sloppy Shannon. I hate that person. I hate the fact that when I’ve been drunk, I have said and done absolutely terrible things to the people I love, and put myself and others in unsafe situations. It is terrifying to me that a substance had the potential time and time again to completely ruin my life or someone else’s. I am thankful to have had so many chances to realize how toxic drinking is for me. My family has really helped and supported me in really taking ownership of my choices given my predisposition to alcoholism that runs in my family. That’s why I have decided to no longer drink. I completely cut it out. In addition to that, I quit smoking this year. I never smoked a pack a day, but I smoked a pack every few days for about 5 years. Most people are baffled to know I smoked considering I have always been a singer, an avid supporter and leader for cancer fundraising, and going to school in the healthcare industry. I “cheated” a few times, but I don’t smoke anymore. I am so proud of myself because I have always used these vices to deal with my stress and anxiety. I have found that I really need a new vice. Given my recent weight gain, I know I’ll easily lose the weight and get back on track because I have strong will power and motivation when I put my mind to something. I know I can, and I will.
So no, 2016 was not shit. Things that happened during the year might not have been all sunflowers and butterflies, but you should have learned something. If you didn’t, that should be your focus in the new year. Don’t pity yourself for the hardships that may come across you, consider them opportunities to grow. And don’t ignore the blessings.
