(via uncovered-shipper)
Happiness Will Come To You.
when tho
When You Least Expect It. Probably Late March
reblog for happiness to come for you in late march!
A farmer is being interviewed about his cows
Interviewer: How much milk do these cows give?
Farmer: Which one? The Black one or the brown one?
Interviewer: Brown one.
Farmer: A couple of litres per day.
Interviewer: And the black one?
Farmer: A couple of litres per day.
Interviewer(naturally a bit flummoxed): I see. What do you give them to eat?
Farmer: Which one? Black or brown?
Interviewer: Black.
Farmer: It eats grass.
Interviewer: And the other one?
Farmer: Grass.
Interviewer(now annoyed) : Why do you keep asking which one when the answers are the same?!
Farmer: Because the black one’s mine.
Interviewer: Oh, and the brown one?
Farmer: It’s also mine
Shit Got Real very quickly
I never learn
you ignoring me kills me so much and it doesn't even effect you :/
do you guys ever get to that point where hobbies are literally stressful? like people are like “oh youre depressed and/or anxious? just do something you love!” but literally doing the things you actually do still like doing stresses you out because you don’t know if you’re doing them often enough or right enough or if you’re having enough fun doing them
Meanwhile, Trump’s inauguration was literally the most watched program in American history at 31.1 million viewers
The most watched program in American history at 115.2 million viewers was Super Bowl XLIX on February 1, 2015. And the only non-sporting event that made the top 20 of most watched broadcasts was at number 8 the M*A*S*H finale on February 28, 1983 with 105.9 million viewers. Trump’s inauguration wasn’t even the most viewed inauguration, that goes to President Reagan’s first inauguration with nearly 42 million viewers, the second most watched inauguration goes to President Obama’s first inauguration with 37 million viewers. So Trump’s inauguration was very far from “literally the most watched program in American history” as you put it.
But who needs facts in Trump America?
I get jealous really easily but not like an angry vengeful jealous more like a really sad lonely jealous because everybody likes everybody more than they like me and I really really don’t blame them.
Chapters from my life (via melindacarolinee)
Shameless 6x12
I want this tattooed on me
A little louder for those in the back.
This THIS THIS THIS.
This is why people keep quiet about their mental illnesses…and why we need to speak up.
(via quotelounge)
(via quotelounge)
IF A CREEP WANTS YOUR NUMBER
A series of fake numbers to leave behind.
1-888-447-5594 - Easter egg number for finishing God of War, contains a dramatic speech. Personal favorite.
605-475-6968 - Rejection hotline, politely explains that whoever gave you this number turned ya down, buddy
888-276-6760 - The 24-hour Klu Klux Klanline where you can get a FREE INFORMATION BOOKLET!!!!1!
866-740-4531 - Only responds with “I am Groot”
206-569-5829 - Seattle radio station “Loser Line”. If they leave a weird voicemail, it could get broadcast over the airwaves.
Stay safe, people.
Don’t forget about 515-808-2362, the number that rings and then plays the John Cena thing.
309-889-0497 plays the evangelation theme
Evangelation
There’s also 855-523-9386 which will respond to the caller with a robot beat boxing Korn’s “Freak on a Leash”.
Who knew so many weird almost useless phone numbers existed?
This is wonderful

