*randomly materializes out of a murder of crows with a slurpee in my hand* hey guys what’s up?

The Smashing Pumpkins - Bullet With Butterfly Wings

being mentally ill + suicidal at a young age (before 18) is. strange, because you grow up with this idea that one day you’ll finally snap, turn off, be brave enough to kill yourself, so you don’t really plan for the future. adulthood- further life, it isn’t for you, nor do you feel included within the future of it. it isn’t.. it isn’t part of your life plan.

and then before you know it you’re 18 and you’re an adult but you never thought you’d get this far and sure it’s great that you’re still alive you guess but also. you feel so alone + lost in a world you never expected or planned to be a part of.

#your 20s is picking up the pieces and trying to play catch-up with ppl who had a plan (via merovingiens)

It’s been put into words

things to pay attention to

types of dissociation:

feel free 2 add ur own

• I’m driving and suddenly I feel as if I *am* the car • melting into the chair • I don’t remember saying something but someone confronts me about saying the thing and I’m not sure if they’re gaslighting me or if I actually did say the thing • *scratches skin for hours without realizing it and suddenly has claw marks all over my body* “probably a ghost” • 2 hours is actually 10 hours • *forgets name, age, birthday, and identity* *shrugs* • forgetting how to grab things • doing or saying something very inappropriate because you think you’re in a dream • you feel like you’re constantly rocking on a boat at sea • you can hear whispers and songs in white noise

-whole body is limp and feels like lead; extremely heavy and hard to move -crying, but instead of sobbing its just hot tears rolling down my face rly rly slow and at a steady pace and i feel rly rly numb -reading whole chapters of a book and having to read it again cause i dont know what i just read -staring at nothing for literal hours -ghosting from my own body to the point where i feel like i can see myself from above just sitting -someone: “hey are u okay u seem out of it” me: “i was never in it” -completely ignoring my own friends and loved ones bc i cant gain enough energy to walk up to them or lift my phone to message them -*picking nonstop at my skin for hours on end**looks down* “wow im bleeding” *continues to stare at wall and pick at skin more*

Latin Phrases for the signs

Aries: “Dulce bellum inexpertis.” War is sweet for those who have not experienced it.

Taurus: “Fluctuat nec mergitur.” It is tossed by the waves but does not sink.

Gemini: “Volens et potens.” Willing and able.

Cancer: “Serva me, servabo te.” Save me and I will save you.

Leo: “Dum excusare credis, accusas.” When you believe you are excusing yourself, you are accusing yourself.

Virgo: “Cogito ergo sum.” I think, therefore I am

Libra: “Si vis amari, ama.” If you wish to be loved, love.

Scorpio: “Forest fortuna adiuvat.” Fortune favors the brave.

Sagittarius: “Dum viviumus, vivamus.” When we live, let us live.

Capricorn: “Ut desint vires, tamen est laudanda voluntas.” Although the power is lacking, the will is commendable.

Aquarius: “Semper inops quicumque cupit.” Whoever desires is always poor.

Pisces: “Dum spiro spero.” While I breathe, I hope.