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I'm monopolizing on wizards being hot.

@amuletwizard

JOIN MY AMULET SCHEME, DO IT NOW

No guys you don't understand the amulet said if you guys don't- no it's not a cult look just give me money so the amulet can help me find eternal peace. No it's- no it's not a pyramid scheme I've clearly said it was an amulet

hey can we join the pyramid scheme

I believe you mean Amulet scheme. But sure now get 3 more people to sign up and we're good..

oh yeah sure amulet scheme, our mistake.

anyway completely unrelated we're giving away free wizard popcorn to the first three wizards who take one of this very cool looking amulets home

reblog to give the next wizard who reblogs an Amulet, thus taking part in the scheme

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currently obsessed with a twitter account that has a bot set up to record their cat leaving and returning to their house

the best part is that the replies are a wave of sadness and depression whenever the cat leaves and then rejoicing when it comes back like the cat is some kind of messiah

frankly im on board with out new lord and savior Pepito. let the people rejoice in his presence as he is the messiah

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ok.

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• An Oxford comma walks into a bar, where it spends the evening watching the television, getting drunk, and smoking cigars.

• A dangling participle walks into a bar. Enjoying a cocktail and chatting with the bartender, the evening passes pleasantly.

• A bar was walked into by the passive voice.

• An oxymoron walked into a bar, and the silence was deafening.

• Two quotation marks walk into a “bar.”

• A malapropism walks into a bar, looking for all intensive purposes like a wolf in cheap clothing, muttering epitaphs and casting dispersions on his magnificent other, who takes him for granite.

• Hyperbole totally rips into this insane bar and absolutely destroys everything.

• A question mark walks into a bar?

• A non sequitur walks into a bar. In a strong wind, even turkeys can fly.

• Papyrus and Comic Sans walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Get out -- we don't serve your type."

• A mixed metaphor walks into a bar, seeing the handwriting on the wall but hoping to nip it in the bud.

• A comma splice walks into a bar, it has a drink and then leaves.

• Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar. They sit. They converse. They depart.

• A synonym strolls into a tavern.

• At the end of the day, a cliché walks into a bar -- fresh as a daisy, cute as a button, and sharp as a tack.

• A run-on sentence walks into a bar it starts flirting. With a cute little sentence fragment.

• Falling slowly, softly falling, the chiasmus collapses to the bar floor.

• A figure of speech literally walks into a bar and ends up getting figuratively hammered.

• An allusion walks into a bar, despite the fact that alcohol is its Achilles heel.

• The subjunctive would have walked into a bar, had it only known.

• A misplaced modifier walks into a bar owned by a man with a glass eye named Ralph.

• The past, present, and future walked into a bar. It was tense.

• A dyslexic walks into a bra.

• A verb walks into a bar, sees a beautiful noun, and suggests they conjugate. The noun declines.

• A simile walks into a bar, as parched as a desert.

• A gerund and an infinitive walk into a bar, drinking to forget.

• A hyphenated word and a non-hyphenated word walk into a bar and the bartender nearly chokes on the irony

- Jill Thomas Doyle

A zeugma walked into a bar, my life and trouble.

i got these knockoff boots online and instead of the brand name on the tag they have the name of an apparently nonexistent martin scorsese movie??? what the fuck

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How the fuck does his have less than 200k after setting the internet on fire for months

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This lack of notes is probably a big part of why TikTok seems to think they invented the meme.

They think WHAT?!

oh god I got a picture of the moon you tumblr bitches are gonna LOVE

LOOK AT HER!!!! CRESCENT MOON DURING A BEAUTIFUL SUNSET!!!! SHE’S BISEXUAL!!!!!!

The Bisexual and Transgender pride flags colour picked from literally the most beautiful image of the moon ever

i used to work at a used bookstore and there was an insect anatomy book for sale that was over $8000 im not even kidding. and i just found it at my school library. its mine for the month.

It’s page after page of the most detailed illustration on insect morphology I’ve ever seen

External anatomy only I’m afraid, but an absolutely invaluable resource nonetheless

It’s called An Atlas of Insect Morphology by Steinmann and Zombori. Looks like there are some much cheaper options now than when I last looked. When I saw it in the bookstore’s system I thought it was a pricing error but I remember looking it up and seeing one for sale that was over $10,000 so I was like okay then. I could only find pdfs from university libraries I don’t have access too. So I’m glad my school has a physical copy.

Idk if I can describe how useful this book is. It’s all illustration. The only text is the labels. I have a really nice book on insect anatomy but it’s like your classic textbook

Like very useful but it is still a pain to flip through a thousand page book looking for images but it’s mostly text. There aren’t nearly as many diagrams. It doesn’t show you nearly as many angles. It doesn’t show or label even close to level of detail the one above does.

In case anyone hasn’t read my tags: I’m going to scan this whole book and make it into a pdf. You all can have it for free. It will take a while. Bear with me.