stop saying youre investing in posts. i dont make my jokes for any kind of economy. banker-like behaviour of you
nurturing this post while it's young
supporting and cherishing this post in its infancy.
falling in love with someone is problematic because then you are promoting queerbaiting (showing romantic interest without any explicit moments) and forcing the other one into a corner before considering their boundaries. it’s also problematic to daydream about them being in love with you because that’s rpf
born too late 2 be a pirate captain's whorish cabin boy. born too early to 2 be a post-apocalyptic warlords chained up lap boy. why live
i kno where my talents lie
Only capitalism could turn unlimited free electricity into a problem.
oh no the poor billionaires may lose a few thousand dollars so the plant doesn't die so sad
Every single craft has been paying “The Passion Tax” for generations. This term (coined by author and organizational psychologist Adam Grant) — and backed by scientific research — simply states that the more someone is passionate about their work, the more acceptable it is to take advantage of them. In short, loving what we do makes us easy to exploit.
If the phrase “vocational awe” isn’t part of your lexicon yet, stop scrolling and read Fobazi Ettarh:
Vocational awe describes the set of ideas, values, and assumptions librarians have about themselves and the profession that result in notions that libraries as institutions are inherently good, sacred notions, and therefore beyond critique. I argue that the concept of vocational awe directly correlates to problems within librarianship like burnout and low salary. This article aims to describe the phenomenon and its effects on library philosophies and practices so that they may be recognized and deconstructed.
I see it in every field I’ve ever worked in: publishing, open source software development, higher education. It describes pretty much every industry that relies on creativity, altruism, or both.
Following horny people and opening tumblr in public is the path to true strength. Scrolling quickly through porn trains your [Warrior’s Reflexes], and calmly moving past it trains your [Warrior’s Resolve].
And as for strengthening your sword arm, well,
I bet octopuses think bones are horrific. I bet all their cosmic horror stories involve rigid-limbs and hinged joints.
To an octopus, a human is like a thinking being with blood-stained coral growing inside it.
I need to sit down and breathe into a bag for a while.
Its parts were obscenely limited in their movement. Each hinge could open or close only a small amount before reaching its limit, yet by working in concert they demonstrated unexpected dexterity, moving and manipulating the objects before it with cunning equal to my own. It was more torso than limb, as though a seal had been stretched and warped, given long grasping tentacles filled with bones like bars of coral. It’s head was most horrid of all, flat and ovoid, jutting out too small from the trunk as though it belonged to a beast half its size.
The thing rose upon its lowermost appendages, two long trunks that ended in flat, protruding flippers that branched into stubby, grasping mockeries of a sucker. It’s triple-hinged uppermost limbs were similar, but the ends branched into five smaller tentacles, each with three hinges of their own.
I froze, as the thing’s gaze fell upon me and it opened its hideous fish-jaw, filled with thick, many-shaped teeth like white shards of stone, and spoke in a shrill, discordant babble. I felt its horrid dry grip on my flesh, as those hinged appendages closed on me like the legs of a crab.
I felt the heat of its body, tasted its noxious, oily flesh through my touch, and prepared for the end, and all went black as a swoon overtook me.
I awoke, some time later, the cold and comforting water, banished back to the comfort of the sea and the dark. I should be grateful I am alive. I should cast aside the experience like a half-remembered dream.
I shall never again go swimming in search of lights above. The last thing I recall before the darkness took me was my right eye popping free of the thing’s grasp enough to see into the distance for one brief moment.
I saw thousands of lights.
ok so it turns out “horror but it’s about something mundane from the perspective of a non-human animal” fucks severely
albatrosses will wipe the floor with any species of bird you choose to compare them to. they’re the Most, or at least Extremely, by almost every metric
wingspan. lifespan. intricacy of mating dances. devotion to monogamy. investment in offspring. ability to circumnavigate the globe. literary symbolism that is flexible but not to the point of meaninglessness. eyeliner quality. I could go on
muppetness of said offspring
‘as one of the main achievements of the system change the hungarian coat of arms became gluten free 33 years ago’ - translation @schwarz-gerat
Anonymous asked:
Get asked. Idiot
Get answered. Idiot
Get screenshotted. Idiot
Get reblogged. Idiot
Get peer reviewed. Idiot.
[image description:
1. a screenshot of a reply that reads "Get replied. Idiot"
2. a screenshot of tumblr tags reading "#get tagged #idiot"/ end ID]
get image described. idiot
Going from being an introverted lurker on reddit to trying to post my own stuff here is so wild. I keep typing out a post, deleting it, then retyping because I think it's not good enough but then I look at other posts and why am I so worried?
It's like I'm at a fancy Italian restaurant and keep glancing around the room to see which hand people use to pick up the forks. But then I realize that everyone is shoveling spaghetti into their mouths using their bare hands and I'm like ah okay so I'm clearly overthinking this
This restaurant is absolute chaos and I'm giving it 5 stars
I do love the phrase executive dysfunction bc the image it conjures is of a bunch of people wearing business suits around a long oval conference table arguing with each other to the point where they’re getting into physical fights, but in the background there’s just a big empty whiteboard with a To Do list with one item on it and that item is “take shower”
Anonymous asked:
I’ve seen you use the terms “hot reading”, “cold reading”, and “hard reading” in the past- what do those mean? Are the other kinds?
SKKSJDJDJJD okok
"Hot Reading" is a term from con artistry. It refers to tricking someone after you've done some background research on them that allows you to target your pitch more effectively. I.e. I'm a charismatic preacher who knows you're gonna come to my show, so I look at your Facebook to see that you had a recent death in the family, who I will pretend to conjure onstage.
Conversely, "cold reading" is when you don't prepare at all, using common tactics and lowest-common-denominator techniques. If I'm that same charismatic preacher, I channel a grandparent, because statistically you'll have at least one dead grandparent.
A "Hard Read" is not a con artist term. That's from fighting games. It refers to knowing an opponent so well, that you are able to predict what option they will perform next, i.e. beating someone at rock paper scissors because you know what they'll choose next.
"biblical angels" you do realise there are angels in the old testament that are literally just regular looking guys, right? you do know that the hallucinogenic incoherent descriptions are in like. two books. and the rest of the time angels are just guys. you know that, right?
and I'm not saying don't have fun with weird angels. I'm saying, either the eldritch forms are for special occasions, or the society of the angels is Many-Eyed-Many-Winged-Interlocking-Circles, Four-Faces-Six-Wings, and Mike.
Literally Raphael is just a normal person!
this is what the heavenly breakroom is like
So weird that there's a biblical angel who looks just like a water cooler
oh uh. scuse me. just a lil snail crossing your dash
I love how certain I am that I’m not the only person who stopped scrolling to let the snail finish crossing the dash.
In fact, I would bet small sums of money that the majority of Tumblr folk do.
Rb for the lil hops it does at the end before it finishes crossing 🥺💓