instructor144
Tonight’s Parting Thought…. I bid you an early goodnight Tumblr 💤💤💤💤💤💤💤
The Heirarchy of Dynamics
Wants, and needs. Wants, and needs, wants and needs. The two most important things in a dynamic is a partner that fulfills both of these. However, it has become all too common in recent times that a Submissive will be under the impression their wants and needs don’t matter. That their sole purpose is to please their Dominant.
This is such a damaging thought process. Everyone has basic needs, and they should always come before wants. You need to nurture yourself and your partner so that you can achieve your wants.
The assumed Heirarchy of BDSM often doesn’t get talked about past “The Dominant makes the rules”, but there is so much more to it. Both roles in a dynamic are equally important.
Let’s say you’re a Dominant. I don’t care if you’re a Daddy, Sadist, or the Dommiest of All Dom’s. You have a job. Your job is to protect and motivate your Submissive to do better, and be better. Which means you need to advise and care for your Submissive. Their needs come before your wants. This is a lot of work, and if you aren’t up to the challenge, walk away now. I don’t care if you call yourself Sir Awesome Von Dommipants… If you put your wants before someone’s needs, you’re a toxic human being.
Now let’s say you’re a Submissive. Let’s say Sir Dommipants wants to constantly use you for sexual acts and debauchery but nothing else. What is your motivation to stay? As a Submissive, your job is never to be a doormat. You deserve to be nurtured in return for your efforts to satisfy your Dominant’s needs… Oh look, a perfect segue.
Dominants also have needs that need to be fulfilled, and I’m not talking about the throbbing length of unjustified manliness between their legs. A Submissive should always take it upon themselves to remind a Dominant that they are not inhuman. They need reminders to take care of themselves, to relax, to slow down. Some even need a proper kick in the underpants to just get important things done.
And here we are, after lots of rhetoric, at the point of this blog. The heirarchy of Dynamics:
Dominants, put your your Submissives needs first. This is your thank you to them for serving you and allowing you to control them.
Submissives, don’t forget to remind your Dominant to take care of themselves. Talk to them, thank them, make sure they know how much you appreciate them.
Submissives, satisfy your Dominant. Consider it your way of thanking them for nurturing you.
Dominants, satisfy your Submissive, consider this your moment to watch your prize squirm with pleasure and delight, give them a reason to crave you.
pleasurewhore-deactivated201802
Dominance
Dominance is a whisper.
It doesn’t push, it coaxes.
Dominance is patient.
Knowing the value of what it seeks, it is not rushed.
Dominance is not brash.
It is careful, and considerate in its confidence.
Dominance doesn’t struggle.
It’s a feather-light touch to the small of your back, and a look that sends shivers down your spine.
Dominance is steady.
Like the mountain, it does not bend to the wind, or move to the climber.
Beautiful 💖
One of my favorite fantasies is casual teasing. Watching a movie with my hand down your panties, completely ignoring you as you become a wet whimpering mess. I’d pretend not to hear you panting or feel you squirming against me. What a wreck, getting hot an bothered while I sit composed and unaffected. And then just as randomly as I started, I’d leave you bereft and wanting.
@greatqueenprince this is one of my favorite pastimes
vaginaandmagirl-deactivated2017
An old Dom-With-Pen post - the one that meant the most to me, the one I saved and still reread, the one that speaks so much truth...
The original source to this doesn’t exist anymore. (I have this a couple other of DwP’s posts saved away on my notes on my phone; I was too afraid to trust tumblr with them in drafts as we all know how well its other functionalities perform sometimes.) This is the post that made me cry the first time I read it and think - “I need this.” This is the post I sent to my husband tentatively, knowing it’s how we worked in spirit - but it wasn’t how we functioned at the time. This is the post that taught me things could be different - they could be better. I am forever grateful.
“It’s bedtime when I say it’s bedtime.”
“The last few months have been tough on our D/s dynamic. We’ve both been busy, and it’s easy to fall back into old habits. When I’m not around to take care of girl, I feel less entitled to make demands of her. When I feel less entitled, I make fewer rules. When there are fewer rules, girl becomes accustomed to making decisions for herself. Some of them are bad decisions. I blame myself. I withdraw. The cycle repeats. I’m not proud of it. It’s easy to write about this life—it’s much more difficult to actually live it.
Last week was a perfect example. I was on two deadlines, busy as hell, and I asked girl to do two things. Just two. She failed to do both. I don’t blame her; she’s submissive. She doesn’t respond to demands. She responds to rules and consequences. Boundaries and support. Control and protection. Asking girl to do something when there is no perceived consequence gives her no thrill of success, no satisfaction of having done the right thing. In other words, demands are empty.
Last weekend, I vowed to restore the balance. On Friday night, I pulled girl into my arms. “I haven’t been taking very good care of you,” I said. “No, it’s me,” she said. “I was supposed to cook and wash dishes.” “Hey,” I said. “I’m the one who sets the rules around here, and I’m the one who enforces them. If something goes wrong, it’s my responsibility. So, that changes as of right now. You’re going to be in bed by 11 all this week, and you’re going to cook and do the dishes when I ask, or I’m going to spank your ass.” She giggled. I put my hand on her ass. “I’m not kidding.” She stopped giggling.
That was all it took. All weekend, she was cooking, cleaning, doing dishes unasked, and bringing me another beer before I had asked for one. In short, she was behaving correctly. Being the wife I’ve always wanted, and have worked hard to support.
On a normal weekday, I get up hours before girl does, so her bedtime is often after I’ve gone to sleep. I sensed that something was up last night, so I set an alarm for five minutes before her bedtime. girl didn’t come to bed until 11:25. So, when she walked into the bedroom, I sat up, slid to the edge of the bed, and patted my lap. She groaned.
“I set bedtimes for your own good,” I said. “Don’t pretend I’m a tyrant. Now come here.” Her groan became a whine. It’s part of her brattiness—and I tolerate it. Some Dominants don’t, but I do. When girl is bratty or resistant, it’s simply an acknowledgment of my authority. She’s saying, “I don’t like this, but I’m submitting to it.” Frankly, it gets me kind of hot.
I took her over my knee, pinned her hands at the small of her back, hiked up her boy shorts, and spanked her ass once for every minute she was up past her bedtime. As I always do, I made her ask for the last two spanks. It’s my way of reminding her that she is complicit in her spanking. That, even though it’s unpleasant, it’s something she wants.
When I was finished, I fixed her panties and took her into my arms. We talked. We laughed. She was cuddly, warm, and compliant—in short, she was my girl again. She expressed gratitude—not for the spanking, I knew, but for the consistency. The support and authority I was standing up to provide. It wouldn’t have been the same if I hadn’t taken responsibility for the failures of the past month. I’m in charge—so I take the failures. But all the successes are hers.
Footnote: spanking girl arouses me beyond belief. I got almost NO sleep last night, because I went to bed unsatisfied. But I felt it was important not to sexualize this spanking. After a spanking, I almost always end up taking her—taking her very hard.This time, I just wanted her to feel safe, secure, and submissive, without the sexual undertones. I wanted to begin to reshape her emotional make up to remind her that not only can she rely on me, but that I’m in charge. That she is to defer to me. Trust me. Obey me.”
The parts that always resonate with me the most:
“…she’s submissive. She doesn’t respond to demands. She responds to rules and consequences. Boundaries and support. Control and protection. Asking girl to do something when there is no perceived consequence gives her no thrill of success, no satisfaction of having done the right thing.” “We talked. We laughed. She was cuddly, warm, and compliant—in short, she was my girl again. She expressed gratitude—not for the spanking, I knew, but for the consistency. The support and authority I was standing up to provide. It wouldn’t have been the same if I hadn’t taken responsibility for the failures of the past month. I’m in charge—so I take the failures. But all the successes are hers.”
caughtupinthisloveaffair
I understand that this is a lifestyle that works for a lot of people, but when it goes beyond sexual, that’s when it becomes distasteful to me. Adults don’t need someone to make rules for them and give them bedtimes and require them to cook and clean. If I cook and clean for someone, it’s because I want to, not because I’m going to be punished if I don’t. An adult being punished for not going to bed when they’re told honestly makes my skin crawl. I completely understand that some people really enjoy the sexual component of a dominant submissive relationship, but this just sounds controlling and abusive and ick. There’s a difference.
vaginaandmagirl
You’re right. There is an absolute difference between what you describe and what it actually is.
For one, this phrase - “If I cook and clean for someone, it’s because I want to, not because I’m going to be punished if I don’t.” - completely indicates you don’t understand the consensual side of power exchange. Because giving my husband that level of control IS “because I want to.” I don’t need to explain that to you anymore than I need to explain any other of my choices, but for some reason, you seem to negate my agency and the consensual nature of the dynamic and equate it with abuse.
For two, the consensual D/s relationship where one person submits to the guidance and leadership of a trusted other is nothing like “[needing] someone to make rules for them and give them bedtimes and require them to cook and clean.” If that’s what you get from it, then I understand your distaste. You’ve missed the heart of the consensual dynamic completely and leveled it into something you associate solely with abuse and sex. Which is unfortunate, because in its beauty, it’s simply asking the person you care and trust the most with your well-being to hold you accountable and to help you achieve your goals. At its core, it’s very committed, loving, and full of solid communication between the two involved - all the marks of healthy relationship.
For what it’s worth: I am not denying some Dominant/submissive relationships aren’t abusive. Nor am I saying they are all perfect. But abuse in such a relationship is likely as common as abuse in ANY relationship dynamic. To lump the consensual D/s dynamic in with them shows, at best, a lack of understanding about what the dynamic actually is and, at worst, a judgmental attitude towards the lifestyle of two consenting adults. If anything is “ick,” it’s that.
@amorfati17 this is good
101 ideas to make Your slave feel Owned (i.e. loved)
One of the main factors for subs or slaves in feeling truly Owned, is to be constantly reminded throughout the day of their Master’s control. These reminders can be subtle or really obtrusive. The more often a slave is reminded of her submission, the deeper it becomes….and the more fulfilling. So here are some ideas You might want to try… And no matter what rules You decide to make Your own, please….be consistent. If You are unwilling to take the time to enforce the rules You make, then there may as well be no rules at all. There is nothing in the world that will make a slave feel less loved than to have a Master/Mistress who ignores her transgressions and does not exert Their Dominance.
1. Have her wear slave bells. The constant soft jingling of the bells is soothing and a certain reminder of her submission.
2. When she has broken a rule, talk to her as You punish….and make her speak in detail about why what she did was wrong.
3. Make her take her shoes off every day as soon as she enters Your house.
4. A beautiful, special collar will make any slave joyous. Take the time to select the right one, and have her wear it as often as possible.
5. Have her call You each day at a specified time, no excuses.
6. Give her anklets and tell her she must wear one of them every day, no excuses.
7. Whenever possible (i.e. no curious young-uns about), have her kneel before You and ask to accompany You upon the furniture.
8. Choose her hairstyle and go with her to get it cut to Your specifications.
9. Whenever possible (i.e. no curious young-uns about), have her display herself whenever You come into the room…..legs spread, shirt unbuttoned. No matter what position You take, she is to be sure Your view is unobstructed
10. When around the kids or vanilla friends/family, make sure she has an alternative title for You besides Master…..such as “my Love” etc.
11. Use her sexually in a rough, selfish way when You feel like it….interrupting whatever she was doing.
12. Chose a food that she dislikes and have her eat a small portion every day for a week.
13. Have her crawl to bed each night.
14. Bring her a stuffed animal each time You go out of town.
15. Choose her clothing each day.
16. Have her get Your daily wardrobe ready for You the night before….laid out, ironed etc.
17. After punishment, have her kiss Your boots and thank You for loving her enough to correct her.
18. Have her bring a warm towel and wash and massage Your feet each day after work.
19. Get her tattooed (Your choice of art and location).
20. Get her pierced (or preferably if You are trained, do it Yourself).
21. Get her branded.
22. Respect, but push her limits.
23. Ask her each night what she did that day that You would not have approved of. grin This gets her in the habit of being completely honest, and also makes her conscious of the things she could do better each day.
24. Teach her exactly how You want her to kneel, and demand perfection.
25. Reward her by allowing her to please You sexually.
26. Supervise her workout routine.
27. Each night she is to kneel next to the bed asking permission to sleep with her Master, and each night she does, she is to kneel by the bed in the morning and thank her Master for the privilege.
28. Have her polish Your boots weekly, on her knees at Your feet.
29. Negotiate until you are both comfortable with the terms and then sign a contract.
30. Giver her a writing assignment: “The definition of Pain - 1000 words”
31. Have her keep a diary of her journey into submission.
32. Instruct her that she may never get herself something to eat or drink in Your presence without first asking You if You want something.
33. Some evenings, keep her on a leash and take her with You no matter what You do….even if You do not speak to her or include her in Your activities.
34. When appropriate, she is to speak when spoken to.
35. Reward her by giving her delicious pleasure.
36. On occasion, share her.
37. When it suits You, instruct her not to make eye contact with You without Your command.
38. Have her keep her body clean shaven at all times.
39. Conduct random inspections of her body to make sure she keeps herself to Your specifications.
40. Make her wear a butt-plug under her clothes whenever she goes out alone.
41. For transgressions: have her write Your name on the bottom of her foot and tell her to remember she is walking on You with each step. (This is harder to do that You might think….)
42. Master the art of the meaningful piercing stare…..
43. Give her reading assignments.
44. Test her on the reading assignments, to make sure she learned the appropriate lessons from each.
45. Instruct her to keep her toenails painted perfectly everyday, and check to see that they are before bed
46. Make it her responsibility to put the toys away after play and punishment, and to keep them clean and neat.
47. Reward her by letting her name her favorite scene, toys, etc.
48. Call her Your slut, Your pet, etc.
49. Have her make a list of the 10 things that make her the most self-conscious, uncomfortable or embarrassed.
50. Work with her, having her do the things on the list (if possible), so that she conquers those fears and hesitations.
51. Sometimes, pamper her…..wash her body and hair, having her remain perfectly still as You turn her and move her about.
52. Hand feed her like a small child on occasion.
53. Have her eat from a dog bowl on occasion.
54. For transgressions: make her wear a sign to the next public function naming her crime. (ouch)
55. Praise her dedication when she has pleased You well.
56. Instruct her that she is never to touch Your body without permission.
57. Have her write a meditation about her submission, devotion and trust in You….to be said aloud each night before falling asleep.
58. Some days allow her no clothing whatsoever (when practical).
59. For transgressions: deny her play. No pain for you, bad girl….hehehe.
60. In the same ilk, For transgressions: deny her orgasm…..give her sex, but she can’t cum.
61. For transgressions: Command that she is to be silent for a week. She may not speak, and will take whatever pain or pleasure You give as silently as possible.
62. Treat her like a pet in front of friends, making her present herself, turn herself, etc.
63. Giver her a writing assignment: “The definition of Obedience - 1000 words”
64. Have her wear a toe ring.
65. Tell her one morning that she must cum for You 15 times that day, and then write about the day.
66. Have her wear nipple clamps under her clothing out to dinner.
67. On Your birthday, let her receive Your spankings.
68. Spend time training her how to move gracefully to please You.
69. For transgressions: stand her in the corner like a 3 year old.
70. Always flog her after completion of a task, even if it was satisfactory. A well flogged slave is a happy slave.
71. Speak about her as if she were not present.
72. For transgressions: deny her any D/s at all for a week…..letting her do just as she pleases, not allowing her to serve You in any way, no punishment, no instruction, no play, banning titles of respect, etc. This will shame her and certainly make her strive to please You when it is over and she is in her place again.
73. Defend her honor to those who would disrespect Your prized possession.
74. Pet her often.
75. Make her be webMistress for Your huge site, DallasBDSM. hehehehe
76. Whenever possible (i.e. no young-uns about), have her sleep in a cage.
77. Buy her sexy or slutty clothes to Your liking.
78. Teach her things….expand her knowledge…..in a patient Fatherly way.
79. When You are away, call her and have her masturbate for You.
80. If You choose to play with others, make sure Your slave knows who is first in Your heart…..and that some things are just for her.
81. Remember her birthday.
82. Lead her with a loving fist in her hair.
83. Wake her each morning with an assigned task for the day…..and make sure it is done by day’s end.
84. Teach her patience.
85. Videotape Your sessions and watch them together.
86. On long trips, have her wear double dildo latex underwear.
87. Hand feed her chocolate.
88. Have her place her regular wear shoes in a line by the front door. They should be in a straight line with the laces tucked inside, or the buckles buckled. Inspect them periodically.
89. Keep a list of her transgressions in a little book….let her slip for a while…thinking You are not noticing…..then one day, bring out the book and have a day of atonement.
90. Tickle her just because You can.
91. Have her be perfectly still and quiet while You bring her extreme pleasure…..when she moves or makes a sound punish her then return to the pleasure.
92. Keep her locked in her collar when You are home. You place it on her…..having her kneel. Wear the key to the lock around Your neck.
93. When possible, have her cook and serve Your dinner wearing nothing but an apron and collar.
94. Buy her a Polaroid camera and give her assignments to take pictures of herself for You in certain outfits or positions, etc.
95. Remember to kiss and caress away her tears.
96. Don’t be afraid to bring her to tears, for they are Yours as well.
97. Take her and the dog to the park, both on leashes.
98. Caress her, whisper into her ear that You love her, nibble on her belly, lick her thighs and make love to her until she cries.
99. Have her fall asleep with Your cock in her mouth and tell her You expect it to be there when You awake.
100. Occasionally, fulfill her fantasy.
101. Master’s word is the last word.
Addendum
102. Make sure that she is safe at all times….when with You and when You are apart (to the best of Your ability). Keep her vehicle in good working order, make sure she has emergency money and a cell phone to call for help if needed.
103. Be consistent.
104. Take the time to talk to her…..learn her fears, her dreams and fantasies. Use Your knowledge.
105. When You go out of town, forbid her to shave her sex. Shave her Yourself when You return.
106. Specify exactly how she will address You in private and in public.
107. If You are willing to correct her each time she forgets until it is a habit, have her refer to herself as “this slave” or “this girl” etc.
- author unknown
—
more articles in the Library For Kinksters.
@amorfati17 there is some really good stuff here. Let’s talk about meta style please sir
When Dominance isn’t about sexy time or giving orders.
The shitty thing about dealing with death is that life keeps going. My grandpa recently passed away and I am beyond exhaustion. It happened a few days ago, but today is the first day it really sunk in that he’s actually gone. I will never get to see him again and I didn’t get a chance to say goodbye.
Today, I had to work a long shift and it was brutal. The first half of my shift, I was fine but by lunch I started fading fast. I swear I spent half my shift just wandering around with out any idea of what I was doing or where I was going. I was determined to get through, and I did…barely. At the end of my shift I checked my phone to see several missed calls from my sister. Apparently, that side of the family decided the best way to cope was to drown themselves in booze while picking fights about anything they could think of. My mom is stuck in a dangerous situation and I hate that I can’t be there to protect her, but luckily my father is on his way to be there for her. ( the word father sounds way too formal and I don’t like it, but I’m using it to hopefully avoid confusion).
The moment I walked in the door I burst into tears.
“You did such a good job today Babygirl. I’m so proud of you. It’s okay. Just breath. You can let it all out now.” Daddy greeted me as he pulled me into his lap, rocking me back and forth.
I explained to him what was happening back home between sobs. He held me tighter as he slowly laid me down on the bed.
“I have worse news. I have to go to work at midnight to help smoke some pork with my chief. I’m new so I was ‘volun-told’. I don’t have a choice.”
As annoying and frustrating as it is, I know that he really didn’t have the option of opting out. I know that he would have done so if he could. I finally calmed down and we cuddled for awhile until he finally got a call about the house we’ve applied for.
“Babygirl, I know you’re going through a hard time and it’s not fair for me to ask this of you, but when you wake up tomorrow I need you to suck it up and pack up all of our stuff in the room so we can be ready to check out when I get off work. I know you just want to rest, and I feel guilty about this but we can’t afford to stay here another night. I promise you, after that’s all done you can rest.”
I know he’s right and I understand why he needs me to take care of this, but the thought of doing more work is overwhelming and the tears start to well up again.
“I know babygirl,” he whispers as he plays with my hair “ But do you understand why I need you to take care of this?”
I can’t bring myself to answer. The words are caught in my throat as if its been sealed by a brick wall.
“Please don’t shut me out babygirl. I know you’re hurting and I’m sorry, but I don’t want to end the night like this. Please don’t ignore me.”
I finally muster up the energy to tell him that I’m not mad, just that I’m overwhelmed and exhausted.
“So then I want you to take a bath, drink some tea, relax, then put on some comfy clothes and movie and go to bed. I love you. Now give me a kiss.”
He told me to do every. single. thing. my mom told him would help bring me down when I’m feeling anxious or depressed. Every. single. one. Without hesitation and he did it in the most gentile and authoritative voice possible. I am beyond grateful and lucky to call this man Daddy.
Being a Dominant isn’t just about fucking and barking orders, Its being a submissive’s rock in their time of need and understanding that structure is a tool to help keep them grounded, not to fluff up your ego. It’s about guiding them toward the light in moments of complete darkness.
D/s vs Vanilla
A collection of observations from My personal experience in having been involved in both D/s and vanilla relationships or having observed the behavior of others. As a disclaimer, I am in no way “defining” right or wrong behavior. All relationships are unique. All Dominants and submissives are different. Your experience(s) and observation(s) may be different from Mine.
Leaves for work in the morning…
- Vanilla: (Light peck on the cheek) “Have a nice day, Hon.”
- D/s: (Passionate embrace, perhaps even tongue exploring) “Meet you back here at 6pm, Babe!”
Walking down the sidewalk…
- Vanilla: Anyone’s guess who takes the curb side.
- D/s: Dominant takes the curb; submissive takes the wall. Always!
Walking together anywhere…
- Vanilla: Maybe hand holding… but not likely.
- D/s: Dominant holds submissive’s hand (with his on top and hers underneath), or places hand in the small of her back or on the nape of her neck. Alternatively, submissive locks arms at the elbow. Or dual arm around waist embrace.
Getting things done…
- Vanilla: “I’ll get around to it.”
- D/s: “It will be done today.”
Working though an issue…
- Vanilla : “What’s wrong with you?”
- D/s: “Have I made you upset?”
Deciding where to go for dinner…
- Vanilla: “Where would you like to go?”
- D/s: “We are going (here) tonight.”
Having dinner in a restaurant…
- Vanilla: Your phone has your undivided attention.
- D/s: Your partner has your undivided attention.
Clearing the dinner table of stacked dirty dishes…
- Vanilla: Everyone fends for himself or herself.
- D/s: Stacked dishes are heavy. Dominant carries dirty dishes from table to kitchen.
Expressing disappointment…
- Vanilla: … … … … (withdraw with silent treatment).
- D/s: “I am unhappy with you and here is why.”
Giving a compliment…
- Vanilla: “You look nice tonight.”
- D/s: (Grabs her ass and pulls her in close). “You are so Mine!”
Walking up stairs…
- Vanilla: Parties walk side by side or random determination who leads.
- D/s: Dominant walks behind submissive so that He can help her if she trips and stumbles.
Walking down stairs…
- Vanilla: Parties walk side by side or random determination who leads.
- D/s: Dominant walks in front of submissive so that she can brace herself on Him if she trips and falls.
Approaching a building door…
- Vanilla: Whoever gets there first opens the door.
- D/s: submissive waits for Dominant to open all doors. Always!
Entering of exiting a vehicle…
- Vanilla: Everyone fends for himself or herself
- D/s: submissive sits patiently in vehicle and waits for Dominant to exit vehicle and walk around to open her door.
Investment in the relationship…
- Vanilla : Both partners give 50-50, at best. More likely it is 75-25.
- D/s: Both partners give 100-100; otherwise D/s doesn’t work.
Sex…
- Vanilla : “Honey, can we have sex tonight?”
- D/s: “I want you now. Get undressed and go wait for me. Now!”
Orgasms…
- Vanilla: She fakes them half the time.
- D/s: She climaxes at Dominant’s discretion.
Falling asleep…
- Vanilla: “Good night, Hon.” (rolls over and goes to sleep)
- D/s: “I am so in love with you. Come here; I want to feel you next to me as I sleep.”
Saturday mornings…
- Vanilla: Get out of bed immediately upon waking.
- D/s: Take in your partner as they sleep. Plan your day while in bed together.
Accountability for personal behavior…
- Vanilla: Little to none, particularly over time.
- D/s: An absolutely requisite all the time.
-IADD🌪 (© May 10, 2018)
daddys-cockmonster
Absolutely have to agree with the D/s part ❤
masterofmindbodyandsoul
Love this post.
romanhandsrushing
😊💕
Perfect! 💕
Quiet Service
“Would you like to snuggle for a bit? In your favorite spot?”
I smile. I know exactly what he means. It’s my place. It’s where I belong. Since we began, this particular thing has felt so natural to me. It doesn’t always go the same way, but it does always feel like coming home.
My mouth belongs on his cock. So I crawl down between his legs. It’s not a blowjob exactly… Orgasm is not the goal—not yet, anyhow. This is just how we reconnect as Master and slave. My tongue runs all over his cock and balls, coating them in my saliva. When they are slippery, I rub them all over my face. My cheeks, my forehead, my eyelids. I lift his balls and rest them on my cheek so I can kiss and lick the space underneath.
It’s not for him, exactly. I am not thinking about what he wants me to do next. He will tell me if he wants something else. But for now, I am not thinking at all. It takes a lot to quiet my brain. Usually it takes an overwhelming amount of stimulation to calm and focus me. Pain. Hard use. But this is different. This brings me peace. I am fully immersed in my service to him, doing whatever feels right in the moment. And I will stay here until he tells me otherwise.
I am part of him in these moments. He is usually quiet. Reading or watching a movie or just laying with his eyes closed. We don’t need words. He reaches down every once in a while to stroke my hair. Sometimes his cock is hard. Sometimes it’s not. But again, this isn’t about orgasm. My mouth and hands belong on him. That is all I need to know.
Sometimes he grabs my hair and fucks my mouth until he fills it. Sometimes he pushes my face down below his balls, allowing me a new way to serve. But sometimes orgasm is irrelevant, and I just serve quietly like this. It is not up to me. I do not need to think; I only need to accept his will. He rests his feet on the small of my back. Or I curl up on my side, and he pushes his leg between my thighs. My cunt drips against his calf while my tongue swirls over his balls. I am soaked, but I barely notice. There are no thoughts about my own pleasure. Only keeping his cock warm and wet.
When I feel happy and sated and perfectly in my place, I rest my head on his thigh. When his cock goes soft, I hold it in my mouth, sucking for comfort every so often. After a while, he begins to snore. Sometimes if my jaw gets tired, I hold his cock in my hand to keep it warm. Then I lift his balls so my mouth and nose are against that space underneath. I drift off to sleep inhaling the scent of him. I am secure with his legs wrapped around me, serving even while he sleeps.
There are many things I love about serving him, but these moments of quiet service are my favorite. An hour with his cock resting in my mouth, and I know where I belong. I know I am home.
cherished-property
Missing this kind of service today.
@amorfati17 sounds so lovely
Sometimes You Have to Laugh
A while back, I dated a sadist who liked to shock me. He had a shock collar that he liked to strap to my thigh when we went out in public. In case I forgot my manners. Which obviously never happened, because I’m such a good girl…
Eventually, he bought a handheld zapper. But this was not for correction; it was for fun. Because my sadist liked to see me jump. He liked how desperately I tried to stay in position for him, and he liked to watch me fail. But the zapper was only used once. It left some scabs on my body that neither of us cared for, so we decided to set it aside.
Shortly after, I was standing in inspection before a session—hands behind my head, feet shoulder-width apart, back straight, chin up, eyes down. This was our ritual. I am not supposed to talk in inspection. And despite his best efforts to entrap me, I was very good about being still and silent. He’d walk around the room, laying out implements and asking me questions. Questions I wasn’t supposed to answer. And I knew better. Then he’d turn to me and begin inspection. He’d move in circles around me, running his fingers over my curves and looking over any marks. I stayed in position until he fastened the collar around my neck and released me.
This time began as it always did, with me silently waiting in inspection while he prepared the room.
Him: It’s really a shame we can’t use that zapper anymore. That was fun.
me: <silence>
Him: Especially that last time. Remember, with the blue spark? That was outstanding. Well, maybe that’s not the right word…
me: <silence>
me: <staring straight ahead, trying really hard to bite my tongue>
me: It was shocking.
Him: <stopping in his tracks>
Him: <turning around and looking at me>
me: <trying to suppress a smile>
Him: <shaking his head>
Him: You are such a dork. The dorkiest dork. The dork to rule all dorks.
me: Get it? Shocking? GET IT? <bursting into laughter and completely losing all composure…for like 5 minutes>
This morning as I was driving to work, this memory flashed across my mind, and I couldn’t help but smile. BDSM isn’t always serious and intense. It’s also moments like this—moments where roles fall away, and you are just two dumb kids laughing at an even dumber joke. These are the moments that matter the most.
instructor144
If you can’t have lots of joyous laughter when you’re with your partner, then you’re not doing it right. ☝️☝️☝️
dinodaddy
I love posts like this - too many people have forgotten how much fun this is supposed to be! My Little One and I laugh like idiots together over silly things!
There’s so much nonsense about all of these intense, mechanical doms and subs cowing in fear before their dark wrath… And during a scene, that’s fine. There’s a place for that, but you don’t want to try to live that 24/7… That’ll mess you up and end horribly.
Talk, laugh, cuddle, love… These are the things that make life worth all the garbage we have to go through. All of the protocol and the rules and punishments in the world will never replace a really good relationship between people. Find that first, then work in the rules, and you’ll be in a great place.
his girl
He reveled in teasing her, in dragging her to the edge again and again but refusing to let her spill over. It was worth it though, when He finally let her break, finally let her come apart in His hands – it was like falling over a waterfall, the fire in her blood combusting as He claimed her body. He reveled in running His calloused hands over the smooth canvas of her skin, got a thrill from the way she arched up against Him, against His palms and His fingers.
He got a thrill from dropping trails of hot, open-mouthed kisses along the bend of her spine, from fastening His mouth over the juncture where neck and shoulder meet, from deafening Himself against her skin, from the breathy moans this would coax from her, from the way she said His name.
He’d told her once that He’d never heard His name before. Not like this. Not like she said it.
She’d realized, in that moment, that she had power over Him too, and He’d doubled down on her then and told her that He was going to turn her into a quivering, mumbling, sweating, crying mess of a girl – leave her gasping, writhing, moaning, leave her wanting, leave her needing – that He was going to revel in doing it again and again and again – revel in leaving her raw and aching – and then He did it. He did it anytime He got the chance.
Say it, He’d demand, always, every time.
And she’d respond the way she knew He wanted: This body is yours. This heartbeat is yours. This girl is yours. All yours. Always yours.
And He fucked her not as an act of passion but as an act of possession and His touch felt like fire and His words tasted like vanilla and she was His.
She was His.
2xshyblushingwife
Whoa.
@amorfati17 ohhh sirrrr 💜😭😍
All mine
mastermhatter-deactivated201903
@inkedisabelle came to play all pretty and perfect and so babygirl it hurt, a real Daddy’s girl wanting to be looked after and cuddled. And I did for a while..then I reminded her that she is also my toy, to be used and abused and abused and bruised. Ropes: heaven’s rope medium lay Jute and bamboo from www.mmhrope.com
@amorfati17 I love this contrast… And the comment
Two modes of babygirl
1-sadistic-lover
“When I Say You’re Mine”
When You’re happy, you are mine.
When You’re sad, you are mine.
When You’re strong, you are mine.
When You’re weak, you are mine.
When You’re busy, when You’re tired, when You’re distracted, when the world is on your shoulders…
You. Are. Mine.
This is not a game.
This is not a lark.
This is not some whim decided upon in the throes of passion.
I sought you out.
I worked for your trust, your submission, your love.
When I say you are mine I don’t just mean when it’s good for me, when possessing you is a joy. I mean you are mine when life is ugly and the pain is so deep the world feels like it will crush you. It is in these times that being mine means the most.
Just as you are.
You. Are. Mine
I would have you no other way.
@amorfati17 is this how you feel?
I couldn't have said it better
instructor144
Responsibility
Responsibility
For many years I would say “it’s my job/role/function as a Dominant to do X,” until a dear friend set me straight recently: “The word you’re looking for is Responsibility.” It was one of those moments where so many things fell neatly into place by simply finding the right word. And what a powerful word it is, a word with iron in it, but sadly a word that does not receive nearly the attention it deserves in the D/s world. There is an entire generation of Dominants (and their Submissives) who do not understand the deep and serious implications of that simple word, “Responsibility.”
i think a lot of this can be attributed (not just on Tumblr, but in the D/s world at large) to the strong focus on the Submissive. In many respects, the D/s world shares the mindset so common in porn films: “It’s all about the girl.” The strong focus on the Submissive — her needs, her heart, her act of submission itself — is a good and right thing; new Submissives of all ages need the context and the information in order to make intelligent, informed decisions about their nature and activities. But the implicit (and all too often, explicit) assumption is that the Dominant somehow magically “just knows” what’s expected of him. The Dominant is self-sufficient, wise, Olympian, and unerring in his understanding of who and what he is, and how to treat his Submissive. Dominants are the archetypal lone wolf; indeed, “Wolf” as a synonym for “Dominant” was a word already sanctified by long use back when I first entered the life decades ago. Dominants do not need advice, they do not need guidance, they do not need to even think very much about how D/s works. A Dominant simply accepts the submission of his Submissive and that’s the end of it.
It’s all a lie.
Because the one thing that never gets talked about — Responsibility — is a deep, unconditional, and abiding thing, the thing that, more than anything else, is at the very heart of what it means to be a Dominant. A Dominant who doesn’t feel the truth of this deep in his bones is a very dangerous man who can do so much damage (emotional, psychological, and physical) to someone who offers him the gift of unconditional submission. Responsibility is the thing that is owed to the Submissive, the moderating and protective influence in the D/s power exchange. When a Submissive offers the gift of her submission to a Dominant, she is saying in effect: “I am putting myself, my body, my soul, and the burden of my freedom, into your hands. In return, I expect you to protect me, guide me, direct me, comfort me, protect me, and above all respect and cherish me.” This is the heart of Responsibility, and the “burden” the Dominant shoulders and carries; sometimes with enormous effort and strength of will, but always with a proper mindfulness that Responsibility is, in effect, his reason for existence.
Dominants can act irresponsibly in so many ways, most often without even being aware of it. This makes them dangerous ….
If you are only present for your Submissive when times are good, then you do not understand your Responsibility and you are a danger to your lady.
If you are expecting a quid pro quo — if you expect anything from your Submissive except for her submission for all the work you put in stepping up to your Responsibility — then you do not understand your Responsibility and you are a danger to your lady.
If you think it’s only about your sexual responsibilities — maintenance discipline and the like — then you do not understand your Responsibility and you are a danger to your lady.
If you think that your responsibility only extends to the big, dramatic things — if you do not understand that being present for your Submissive after a rough day at the office is every bit as important as providing her with discipline and orgasms — then you do not understand your Responsibility and you are a danger to your lady.
If Responsibility feels like a burden rather than the ultimate expression of your bone-deep need to protect and guide and cherish your Submissive, then you do do not understand your Responsibility and you are a danger to your lady.
Above all, if you think that being a Dominant is something you DO rather than something you ARE, then you do not understand your Responsibility and you are a danger to your lady.
But if you understand that Responsibility is at the core of your love for your Submissive, and that Responsibility permeates every aspect of your being together, then I can promise you this: you will feel a quiet joy and sense of loving satisfaction in being the “responsible adult” that is a feeling like no other.
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Been feeling this