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Pamela

@amorartistico

RI || Colombia || 19
IG: pamela_bedoya

psych majors should be required to kick it with a mentally ill person for at least 80 hours just to be reminded that we are human and not experiments

As both a psych major and a mentally ill person I cannot begin to tell you how many people I have met in my classes who make me concerned for the safety and health of mentally ill people everywhere, especially the young children who struggle.

My first psychology class was fucking wild. Put of around 35 of us only three (one being a close friend of mine) of us had any sort of mental illness. Intro Psych is mainly about brain development with only a small section at the end being about mental illness but Oh Fucking Boy did everyone’s weird ass stereotypes and fetishes jump out in the last chapter.

We were talking about schizophrenia and the one other girl with mental illness was a schizophrenic (it wasn’t known until this exact moment). We were talking about symptoms when someone just asked outloud, “Aren’t schizos like super likely to murder people though?”

I thought, okay, one guy still stuck in the fucking 80’s, whatever.

But Then A Bunch Of People Start Agreeing

And soon we were 20minutes into class and everyone had shared a case of a schizophrenic murdering, abusing, etc etc and They Saw Nothing Wrong With Thinking These Stereotypes Were A Standard

The prof finally stopped them and asked if anyone wanted to make one last statement and this poor girl just raises her hands and “I just thought you all should know that I’m schizophrenic and have never thought about murdering someone, nor have I ever hurt anyone apart from myself.”

And… no one apologized. They literally felt no guilt at all for bashing this girl.

The same exact thing happened when we talked about depression, anxiety, and ptsd.

“Ptsd is what soldiers get after war right?”

“Yeah sometimes, but anyone can suffer from it after a traumatic event”

“How would you know, are you the professor now?”

“No, but I have ptsd from a car crash that nearly killed me so…”

Like god damn I really fucking hate neurotypicals trying to satisfy some weird curiosity they have for “crazy” people or whatever it is like please stay like 3000ft away from anyone with a mental illness and never fucking talk to them dear god

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it’s weird to cuddle with someone you love… it’s like no matter what position you’re in, you can’t seem to get close enough.

coming out as a lesbian & being asked if you’ve ever dated a man is such a catch 22 cause you know if you say yes they’re gonna think you’re open to fucking men but you just “chose” women after having a bad experience with a man or something but if you say no they’re gonna tell you there’s no way you can know for sure if you haven’t tried being with a man. ladies tell me if this is a reach but i almost feel like the core tenet of lesbophobia is that no one sees lesbianism as a real identity & everyone thinks it’s impossible for women to not be attracted to men

!!!!!

And all of a sudden… She changed my life. I had no desire for meaningless conversations with girls I barely knew. She was all I thought of, all I wanted, all I needed. She may not be perfect to others, but in my eyes, she is everything. She is the sunlight after the storm, the warm blanket on a winter night, the drug I can’t let go of. And I never want to, I never want to let her go

My friends and I were talking about dating and our favorite parts of dating, and I said my favorite part is holding hands. I love holding hands. Okay, so think about this: We do everything with our hands. We create with our hands. We write. We draw. We sculpt. We talk with our hands. We wave. We gesture. We give thumbs up. We do simple things with our hands, and we do great things with our hands. We use our hands for everything. Our hands are like our whole world. And despite everything and anything we could do with our hands, we choose to hold each other. Like, when I hold your hand, I’m saying, “You are the most important thing right now. My world is yours and your world is mine.” Hands are so cool. We should hold hands more.

Whoa

Do you ever notice yourself getting bad again…like, you know you’re not doing work that needs to be done, you know you’re not cleaning, you know you’re not taking care of yourself…you know all the things you need to do to start trying to feel better. But you just can’t. And you’re left feeling like shit bc you thought you were getting better but here we are