my LGBTQA+ friend group call that mixed fruit

And my mentally ill friend group call that mixed nuts

being LGBTQA+ and a mentally ill friend group call that trail mix 

me, having stupid thoughts & feelings about fictional characters: ugh. Fine.

no. yknow what? fuck you. *uncaramelizes your dansen *

everyone talks about the folgers coffee incest commercial but remember the quizno’s commercial where the guy was fucking the toaster oven?

what the fuck

what the fuck

a MALE toaster oven

I support their forbidden gay love

“Not doin that again that burned”

“We both enjoyed that.”

I’m dying how did this get produced

He also looks down at his dick when he said it burned

Is it even a fanfiction if she doesn’t let out a breath she didn’t know she was holding

@certified-kindergartner is making me upload this

do actors get boners while making sex scenes this is one of the things i’ve wondered my whole life

Idk if you actually care for the answer, but they have to put their dicks in little sleeves that attach to the leg so if they get a boner it just get held down.

that sounds like a garment that should be sold everywhere and considered polite if not mandatory to wear, like bras

Omg I can’t

As a guy I second this.

If I have to wear a titty sling because there might be an event where it becomes chilly and my nip noops become visible through my shirt, people who have a peenor should be expected to wear a peenor sling in case there is an event where a gentle breeze occurs and their peenor becomes erect.

I kind of feel like if we’re gonna do that we should go all-out and they should be IMPOSSIBLE to size, VERY expensive, flimsy, and made of uncomfortable, itchy materials.

And the little ones should have cute designs but the big ones only come in white,black, and tan

and there should be a company that sells them called Victor’s Secret, that has uncomfortably large, close-up photos of enormously-endowed male “angels” stuffed into their gorgeous little pouches spread all over every mall and TV channel, which changes societal expectations on penis size as a whole, so that men who don’t have incredibly large penises feel impossibly inadequate and feel compelled to make up for it by spending a fortune on overpriced penis pouches as a way of compensating.

Then Victor’s Secret should be sure not to actually carry any of these garments in the sizes that they advertise, so that only modestly-endowed men have the privilege of being seen in the shop, which is the type of place that simultaneously clamors for huge dicks, but refuses to cater to them in any way, leaving everyone involved vaguely uncomfortable and slightly ashamed.

This is legit one of the best posts I’ve ever found on tumblr.

They also must come with a terrible underwire that sometimes breaks or stabs them from time to time.

This is great.

I’m absolutely not against robits in the home, I think the possibilities are really cool but like… Alright actually, here’s a side by side comparison: 

Alexa can play Skyrim tho

Damn you’re right.

I’m on mobile can somebody add that as a point for Roomba.

here you go

Roomba creates maps of the inside of your house

You’re like the 400th person to add this so:

This is the outline of my bedroom, with approximate furniture. Information I might not want handed out to the government or corporations or whatever. Not even including dubious terrain like rugs and clutter:

Here’s what a roomba, at floor level, with clutter and obstructions and stuff-under-stuff might be able to ‘map’ as navigable area:

This is completely useless to anybody except people developing robot vaccuums who might want diagnostic data. This isn’t even close to the level of Alexa’s microphone bollocks. Hit Alexa with a hammer, Roomba is… Safe, for now.

I saw the red and blue and my first response was “Roomba is using this sensitive information for GERRYMANDERING purposes”

SWAT team, bursting into your room, having been briefed with detailed Roomba-collected maps: *avoids difficult rug*

ohhhhhhh

THIS is the gunch

What about this

both are exquisite thank you for your contribution

sometimes it’s “no one loves me” other times it’s “I am not brave enough to look those who love me in the eye”

Welcome to ADHD emotions! Get ready to experience

Reblog if one of your favorite characters has ever died.

Rest in peace, Mongo from Shrek 2. Your life was fleeting but you will never be forgotten.

SCARY MOVIES SET IN HOUSES ARE THE WORST

I LIVE IN A HOUSE