"are you afab or amab" i am fmab. *narrator voice* fullmetal alchemist! *waits 30 seconds, narrator voice but in a more somber tone* fullmetal alchemist.

babygirl i can waste time i don't even have

chat, dramatically acting milk-drunk, pointing at a picture of cat walker: what do you have that I don’t?

chat throws his baton at the picture but it bounces back and hits him in the face

chat, dramatically acting milk-drunk, pointing at a picture of cat walker: what do you have that I don’t?

chat throws his baton at the picture but it bounces back and hits him in the face

having pets is about coming to terms with sitting in the stupidest positions

[ID: a doodle of a person and a cat sitting in a chair. the cat is sitting on the seat against the back of the chair, and the person is perched on the edge of the seat discontentedly using their laptop.]

[ID: another doodle showing a person and a dog sitting on a seat. the person is barely staying on the edge of the seat while the dog leans against them in a goofy position.]

my favorite kind of royai is like. roy makes riza his conscience and moral compass, a saint to look to for guidance and protection. and in his mind he’s a follower of the faith, eventually a king with a divine right and responsibility to rule who is still subject to her judgment any mortal answers to what is holy. but to her, he’s the god that she’s following, her existence predicated on his. and they also have sex.

Yo is that your ouroborous or is your penis just so cyclical and self-devouring

PLATONIC INTERPRETATIONS OF CHARACTER DYNAMICS ARENT ANY LESS VALID THAN ROMANTIC ONES PELASEE

i recently discovered a swedish fashion influencer who is now my new arch nemesis like i hate her guts. and THEN i found out she comes from a “really old-school swedish aristocratic family” and now i really wish i could fist fight her.

Something about drinking cold water really hits the clitoris of the soul....

personal collection of tiny guys

this show has no right to be this funny

NEW TUMBLR UPDATE:

You can only like 4 posts a day and if you even think of reblogging we're going to blow your brains out

i hate nerves and anxiety. oh nooo i am scared of acting like a weird bitch to remedy this i will act like a weird bitch

[Inspired by the love story of Romeo and Juliet]