AmazingGrace-R

physically i’m here but emotionally i’m unconscious, face down on a table at dennys

me and my friends dancing to “mr. brightside” 

I can’t get over how well this fits

Khaled’s misogyny aside for a second but who doesn’t like eating pussy jfc

My husband said Russian men think it’s gay

Yknow what

eating pussy…is gay….

Fellas is it gay to have sex with a woman?

*sucks guys dick* *dies of nut allergy*

did you know that proteins in brazil nuts can be transmitted sexually so if someone had an allergy and the guy had eaten brazil nuts then they could literally suck dick and die of a nut allergy

now I do

#the answer to a question i never asked

i wish i can just read good novels, watch great movies, listen to my favorite songs, travel, see beautiful things, eat whenever im hungry and sleep when im tired but no no, i have to go to school, graduate, find a job and struggle. 

*crushes my emotions with my bare hands* as I was saying,

this website sucks when nobody pays attention to me

hey can I get some fuckin uuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhh attention and validation

Oh u love ur mom? Name 3 of her albums

hillary: *says anything*

donald:

There’s no way that EVERYBODY was Kung Fu fighting.

Woman: Is there a problem, Officer? Officer: Ma’am, you were speeding. Woman: Oh, I see. Officer: Can I see your license please? Woman: I’d give it to you but I don’t have one. Officer: Don’t have one? Woman: Lost it 4 times for drunk driving. Officer: I see…Can I see your vehicle registration papers please. Woman: I can’t do that. Officer: Why not? Woman: I stole this car. Officer: Stole it? Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner. Officer: You what? Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see. The Officer looks at the woman, slowly backs away to his car, and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun. Officer 2: Ma’am, could you step out of your vehicle please! The woman steps out of her vehicle. Woman: Is there a problem sir? Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner. Woman: Murdered the owner? Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please. The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk. Officer 2: Is this your car, ma’am? Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers. The first officer is stunned. Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license. The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer. The officer snaps open the clutch purse and examines the license. He looks quite puzzled. Officer 2: Thank you ma’am, one of my officers told me you didn’t have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner. Woman: Betcha the lying bastard told you I was speeding too.

that was a wild ride

Damn