The devil gonna come fuck me himself

Reblog if you want the devil to come fuck you himself out of sheer spite at the OP.

“the clitoris is meant for creating a child”

gen z kids don’t give a single fuck and they’re all like 9

Actually, Generation Z began in 1998. So if you’re 19 or younger, you’re gen Z

Actually Actually I’ve read that it began in 95. So as far as 22, I’m sorry for you but you’re gen Z.

18-23 year olds who are in the weird gray area between generations

today i learned that, when Jared Leto sent Margot Robbie a live rat as a part of his rude, bullshit “method acting” for Suicide Squad, she was scared but still refused to abandon or harm the rat.

she overcame her initial fear in order to buy him a proper set up and take care of him until she found the rat a reliable owner, who… ended up being Guillermo del Toro for some reason?

so yeah that’s what happened with the Suicide Squad rat

I’m curious, how many houses have you lived in? answer in the tags

Funny Story...

So I was at the pharmacy and needed to ask one of the pharmacists some questions about my birth control as I had switched to a new medication. I walk over to the consultation window, pills in hand, and some man arrives at the pick-up window, which is right next to it. 

Because at least one mention of menstruation is necessary to discussions about the pill, I unashamedly started to talk to the female pharmacist who was no more uncomfortable than I in getting my questions answered.

However, the man at the window seemed offended by my concerns about my feminine health, saying as an aside to the person behind him that “there is a time and a place for that gutter talk”.

NO FUCKING SHIT, MISTER. THIS IS THE FUCKING PLACE. I thought to myself, mortified not because of the conversation but because this man thought he ought to shame me for this. I exchange a look with the pharmacist, who seems to be having the same thought. Raising her voice slightly above what was considered necessary in a quiet CVS, she pressed for more details on my period, which I happily obliged to supply. And I am POSITIVE the woman assisting him took her damn time just so he would be subjected to imagery about consistency, flow, and duration of my last three periods.

Menstruation is not a dirty word and I will BE DAMNED if a man wants to police it, especially when IT DIRECTLY CONCERNS MY HEALTH, because it makes him feel uncomfortable. I can’t help having a period, but you can help being an ignorant son of a bitch.

100% here for passive aggressive pharmacists who choose their patients health over whiny baby-men behaviour.

STEM major: hey good luck on finals

liberal arts major: yeah you too

that one white dude who wears shorts when it’s 30 degrees outside: it’s not even that cold lol I feel fine what’s the big deal

and that dude? was a business major

How to deal with kids (without hitting them)

1. The Best Defense is a Good Offense: Be proactive with children’s behavior. 

Don’t wait until a child is in the middle of a meltdown in the toiletries aisle of Target. Try to be aware of how different situations and stimuli might affect kids of different ages. A few tips: 

Be aware of how the children in YOUR care react to things, and find ways to mitigate “bad” behavior before it happens. 

2. “Punishment” is not the goal. Discipline means teaching. 

Your goal, as a parent, as a teacher, as a baby sitter, is not to punish kids. Your goal is to help teach kids how to become thoughtful, responsible, and kind people. The entire idea of kids “deserving” bad things because they’ve “been bad” is flawed. If a kid does something “bad”, then we should aim to help them not make that bad choice again. 

How? 

3. Don’t forget that kids are people. Kids are also kids. 

Kids will not be perfect angels. You will not be a perfect adult. Sometimes they will be cranky, angry, tired, hungry, selfish, or mean. You can be these things to. One bad day doesn’t mean you are a failure, and it doesn’t mean the kids are a failure. You have to let kids have bad days sometimes. You have to love them anyway and be willing to give it a fresh go tomorrow. 

Working with kids is not easy. No one said it would be. But part of working with kids is the obligation to always be thoughtful about our interactions with them- we teach them with everything we do. So we should treat them with all the respect, kindness, thoughtfulness, and patience we want them to learn. 

You have to teach them how to be a person

we know plankton and krabs have been playing poker together for 15 years

we also know this episode aired before the episode where pearl turned 16

while the non-continuity & non-chronological order of the series means that assuming that pearl was 15 in welcome to the chum bucket is a fool’s gamble - it’s reasonable enough that if there is an episode about her turning 16, her character was likely conceptualized as being 15 years old prior to that point. but either she was 15 or she was 16 in welcome to the chum bucket … and either way, that’s about as long as pearl’s been alive.

we also know that pearl is krabs’ biological daughter … through a combination of facts … and were given reason to believe that something happened to the mother of his child shortly after pearl’s birth that made him depressed. she’s not around anymore and no longer apart of their lives in any way shape or form.

we also know plankton and krabs were childhood best friends, going on to have an on-again-off-again friendship for years prior to spongebob getting a job at the krusty krab … and the two are shown to occasionally have moments where they truly, genuinely care about each other deep down, despite the rivalry …

conclusion: plankton might have started playing poker with krabs to cheer him up after the death of his wife

oh thank god i thought you were going to say plankton was pearls mom

Anyways all boys who joke about rape are ugly

I’ll keep reblogging this until people stop defending rape jokes

Not to be “that guy” but everyone who jokes about rape is ugly

Tbh this is the one time I’ll support the “it’s not just men” because everyone needs to cut this tf out

Submit the picture

I’m at my desk with my hand over my mouth trying to hide the fact that i’m laughing so hard

Wheezing

PSA

Hi I just wanna say that if you sexualize middle school aged children or think that it’s completely okay then unfollow me!!!! You’re trash and I hate you!!! This is INCLUDING the CHILDREN from It and Stranger Things!!! Let kids be kids and get your nasty ass out!!!!

Sorry to bother the rest of you normal people, I just had to make sure this was perfectly clear :)

P.S- If you’re offended by this then you’re the trash I was talking about!! Get the hell out!!!

A group of rough looking boys walked past me today and all I heard of their conversation was “he’s got that anxiety disorder bro so I went with him so he’d be more comfortable” and it made me realise the world isn’t all that bad

#this is team skull

The pet store I worked at had a pen with rabbits near the front door. On every side of the pen were huge signs saying “You can pet me, but don’t pick me up!” One day two absolutely huge guys came in and one immediately reaches into the pen to grab a rabbit. Before i could say anything his friend grabbed his arm and asked him “did you see the sign?” He said “yeah! it says that you can pick them up but don’t pet them!” Then he went quiet for a moment and softly said “I didn’t read it right did I?” And his friend just puts his arm on his shoulder and said “its ok, i know you’ve got that thing where words get mixed up. Let just pet these cute lil shits” And I still haven’t gotten over that interaction.

I was walking my dog through Boston bc he likes the likes car rides. He’s a little thing tbh we call him short and long. So this huge scary man with a full beard approaches me like “hey can my buddy and I pet your dog? He gets nervous around dogs but your’s is so small I think it’s a good place to start.” Ofc I was like “yes he’s very friendly!” So this guy brings his equally big friend over and they sit on the floor while this man looks terrified of my tiny dog so big man number one asks “can I pick him up?” And i say yes so he picks him up and puts him on man number two’s lap and man number two is abt to freak out and his friend straight up just goes “hey man, it’s okay just relax I’d never let anything hurt you. He’s a good boy.” I’ll never forget it ever bc I know that man looked at me (5'3 , glasses, probably wearing a sweater vest) and my dog (kinda goofy looking little thing) and was like ‘ah yes the two least intimidating living things I’ve seen in Boston all day he’ll feel relaxed around them’ and went out of his way to help his friend. It makes me so happy

A good post, pure.

Another adorable story has been added.

can I have these posted right under the politics section in the newspaper? I feel like we need that kinda positivity rn.

Things not to do when you’re angry at ya bf/husband:

>throw a drink/food in his face >destroy their property >physically assault them

>use the personal things they told you against them

Bring up their biggest insecurities

Posted over a full month ago: not even 2,000 notes

Every girl friend I’ve dated up until this year has done this

Don’t make us mad then. Keep us happy and harm will be done 🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃

If you don’t get cho crazy ass

post: don’t abuse your boyfriend

y’all:

“Don’t make us mad then” GIRL do you not know how the fuck human interaction works… the shit is gon happen whether he meant to or not it’s everybody’s responsibility not to react with physical violence like a FUCKING JACKASS especially if it wasn’t that damn serious

!!!! Important post.

Abusive people always want to make it your fault they reacted violently

🗣🗣🗣🗣 ABUSIVE PEOPLE ALWAYS WANT TO MAKE IT YOUR FAULY THEY REACTED VIOLENTLY

ABUSIVE PEOPLE ALWAYS WANT TO MAKE IT YOUR FAULT THEY REACTED VIOLENTLY

remember when we were kids and we would write “new years revolution” by mistake maybe this year it shouldn’t be a mistake

was anyone else kinda bothered by the fact that in the live-action grinch film the who’s of whoville are microscopic and live inside a snowflake, like what happens when the snowflake fucking melts you guys what the fuck happens then

This is the stark reality. The pay gap exists not because of women’s “inability” but because they are viewed as inherently less valuable human beings.

That’s it!

PLEASE READ. WILL NOT HURT TO AND FORWARD. Kids are putting Drano, tin foil, and a little water in plastic drink bottles and capping it up - leaving it on lawns, in mail boxes, in gardens, on driveways etc. just waiting for you to pick it up intending to put it in the rubbish, but you’ll never make it!!!

If the bottle is picked up, and the bottle is shaken even just a little - in about 30 seconds or less it builds up enough gas which then explodes with enough force to remove some your extremities. The liquid that comes out is boiling hot as well. Don’t pick up any plastic bottles that may be lying in your yards or in the gutter, etc. Pay attention to this. A plastic bottle with a cap. A little Drano. A little water. A small piece of foil. Disturb it by moving it; and BOOM!! No fingers left and other serious effects to your face, eyes, etc. Please ensure that everyone that may not have email access are also informed of this. 

Snopes confirms.

I’ve dealt with these before. If you find one:

I’ve seen what these can do. The acidic liquid inside can strip the paint off a car.

when i visited vancouver these were everywhere. it’s not a fucking joke they’re actually scary

Just a reminder that there are awful shitty people out there doing awful shitty things to everyone else

there was a bunch of these at disneyland

i found one in my back yard, when i let my dogs out, i pulled them back inside, took my cousins bb shotgun and shot it from a safe distance (i was in my house and shot from the screen door. When it went off, my family and neighbors came running to see if everything was ok. I told them what happened and to watch out for them. 

These things are not a joke! When we went to check the damage there was a fucking hole in the ground. The dirt in my yard is like CLAY.

This !@#$%^&* is bad news

PLEASE DON’T BE AN ASSHAT. PLEASE DON’T LEAVE BOMBS IN PEOPLE’S YARDS.

Please spread this information!

the one fucking time I actually will signal boost cuz I didn’t know about this and would never ever wanna learn about it first hand

we actually had the bomb squad called to our house for something like this and it totally ruined the paint on my big bro’s car.  :c

i’ve never heard of this what the fuck. don’t get your hands blown apart guys.

http://www.snopes.com/crime/warnings/bottlebomb.asp Just did a check. This is an actual thing. Keep safe around these things, people.

Yes do be careful, although if you want to see the bomb in a safe setting there are some YouTube videos and it’s pretty cool to watch.

THIS IS NOT A HOAX.

I’ve read the entirety of the Snopes article and

THIS IS NOT A HOAX.

Please be safe, people!

Holy mother of shit.

Not blog related but really important, this could save someone so please reblog it.

https://www.snopes.com/crime/warnings/bottlebomb.asp

this isn’t hp related but be safe guys

I don’t want y'all to fucking die so have this. Be safe guys and watch out for these.

1, this is a freaking evil thing to do to a fellow human being.

2, I’m pretty sure leaving the equivalent of a bomb on someone’s property is a federal offense and/or comparable to domestic terrorism. Don’t be stupid this winter. Don’t put bombs in your friends’/neighbors’ yards.

3, If you do in fact make a bomb and place it in someone’s yard where they have to move it, there is a high chance it could maim them, dismember them, or even kill them. And you will be charged with that.

I’m not making this crap up. I’m giving you the plain and simple truth as I perceive it. You could kill someone with these things. And nobody wants that. Least of all some young punk looking to pull a prank.  

Did I really have faith in Humanity at one time in my life

did i really have faith in humanity at one time in my life

^Haiku^bot^6. I detect haikus with 5-7-5 format. Sometimes I make mistakes. | Who do I read? | Contact | HAIKU BOT NO | Good bot! | Meep morp! Zeet!

The year is 2018. Your bills are on autopay. You just got paid and you still have $1200 from the last check. When you want something, you buy it without moving money around. Your credit cards are paid off. You and your friends have 2 international trips planned and paid for this year. Your parents are in great health and you’re able to help if they need anything. You love your job. Your desired creative career is falling into place and you get to take your little cousins to Six Flags and Universal Studios over the Summer. Your relationships are healthy and supportive. All of the toxic energy from the past 6 years is gone. You going to concerts, eating good across the states and your crib has art and warmth throughout. 2018 is going to be so good to you.

reblogging this for that 2018 good luck

Y'all…. this shit had me in TEARS 😂😂😂😂 His twitter is: CymereLasean

I.M.P.E.A.C.H.M.E.N.T

WHAT IS THISSSSS

“You can kiss me black ass” 😂😂

yoooo the way I screamed lmao

The backup vocals im screaming 😭😭😭

Forgot about this 😂😂 I’m rolling

depression tips™

Reblog as much as you can

Absolutely helpful. I think I’ve done three or four of these things today, makes you feel better.

I do a lot of these things to cope, very helpful post.