When I'm in charge of the planet, it will be illegal to make a job posting unless you are actively searching for a candidate.
Lean staffing will also be illegal. If you need three people to do a job, you're hiring four.
You are also either earning an amount or you are not earning that amount. 'Earn up to 21.50/hr' no. Either you're paying 21.50 or you are not paying 21.50. Tell the truth or jail for employer for 1000 years.
(Image ID: a photograph of the back of a persons shirt at a sporting event. The shirt reads, in white text ‘The mayor from Jaws is still the mayor in Jaws 2. It is so important to vote in your local elections.’/end id)
friend!!! you get it.
there’s a whole discussion in here about how you cannot adapt a book exactly into a movie because they are two very different forms of media. I like all of these works as separate creations. They all tell a satisfying story and lean on their medium to do so (can you imagine the Princess Bride movie including all of Goldman’s asides about removing 20 pages on hats?). That’s why I called them “adaptations”.
I do not profess to know everything about the books and movies or to speak for everyone’s experience. I probably should’ve called it “my holy trinity” but most of my posts go without getting much attention so I don’t overthink them.
this list is very informed by my personal journey and I’m sorry to everyone who thinks I’m sleeping on Holes but that movie had way less of an impact on my life than the ones above. (also having 4 in a trinity is a true Douglas Adams power-move that I am in no way qualified for)
Goddamn. Okay
Did you have a kid in your neighborhood who always hid so good, nobody could find him? We did. After a while we would give up on him and go off, leaving him to rot wherever he was. Sooner or later he would show up, all mad because we didn't keep looking for him. And we would get mad back because he wasn't playing the game the way it was supposed to be played.
There's hiding and there's finding, we'd say. And he'd say it was hide-and-seek, not hide-and-give-UP, and we'd all yell about who made the rules and who cared about who, anyway, and how we wouldn't play with him anymore if he didn't get it straight and who needed him anyhow, and things like that. Hide-and-seek-and-yell. No matter what, though, the next time he would hide too good again. He's probably still hidden somewhere, for all I know.
As I write this, the neighborhood game goes on, and there is a kid under a pile of leaves in the yard just under my window. He has been there a long time now, and everybody else is found and they are about to give up on him over at the base. I considered going out to the base and telling them where he is hiding. And I thought about setting the leaves on fire to drive him out. Finally, I just yelled, "GET FOUND, KID!" out the window. And scared him so bad he probably wet his pants and started crying and ran home to tell his mother. It's real hard to know how to be helpful sometimes.
A man I know found out last year he had terminal cancer. He was a doctor. And knew about dying, and he didn't want to make his family and friends suffer through that with him. So he kept his secret. And died. Everybody said how brave he was to bear his suffering in silence and not tell everybody, and so on and so forth. But privately his family and friends said how angry they were that he didn't need them, didn't trust their strength. And it hurt that he didn't say good-bye.
He hid too well. Getting found would have kept him in the game. Hide-and-seek, grown-up style. Wanting to hide. Needing to be sought. Confused about being found. "I don't want anyone to know." "What will people think?" "I don't want to bother anyone."
Better than hide-and-seek, I like the game called Sardines. In Sardines the person who is It goes and hides, and everybody goes looking for him. When you find him, you get in with him and hide there with him. Pretty soon everybody is hiding together, all stacked in a small space like puppies in a pile. And pretty soon somebody giggles and somebody laughs and everybody gets found.
Medieval theologians even described God in hide-and-seek terms, calling him Deus Absconditus. But me, I think old God is a Sardine player. And will be found the same way everybody gets found in Sardines - by the sound of laughter of those heaped together at the end.
"Olly-olly-oxen-free." The kids out in the street are hollering the cry that says "Come on in, wherever you are. It's a new game." And so say I. To all those who have hid too good. Get found, kid! Olly-olly-oxen-free.
the most unrealistic thing about the barbie movie to me is just how many kens there were in barbieland. no one had that many kens. if there are 100 barbies in barbieland we should be looking at like 5 kens max. of course i love the spectacle of dozens of kens beaching each other off but really that whole scene probably should have just been a ryan gosling and simu liu angrily scissoring
I'm a survivor of the terror attacks who lived 4 blocks east of the World Trade Center. I lost my home that day, spent years homeless and destitute, and I carry a Zadroga Act diagnosis of 9/11-connected PTSD. If anyone who's doing this RP needs character coaching or if you need help with authentic scenarios, I'm available for consulting services at reasonable rates. DM me here or leave your number on the men's room wall at any leather bar and it'll get to me in 24 hours. Happy 9/11 y'all, and remember fireworks are unsafe and illegal in most jurisdictions.
Okay but using Karen for the betterment of others is a genius move I never could have seen coming
Be the good Karen you want to see in the world
You can be a lawful evil Karen or a chaotic good Karen. Choose wisely
A caren
Yeah you say this, except there's a good chance you were chronically dehydrated as a kid. The reason you didn't think you were is because a) no one was talking about dehydration at the time, and b) the effects weren't immediately obvious.
But when my grown-up massage clients get on my table and I have to keep reapplying lotion because their skin absorbs the first layer immediately? When they have a million "knots" because their soft tissue fibers got dried out, lost their elasticity and became sticky, basically glued themselves together, and now it hurts when you move your arm like this, or your neck is always achey?
Yeah, that's chronic dehydration. That's shit that builds up over years of not drinking enough water (and/or not stretching, and/or having shitty posture, and/or not healthily processing your difficult emotions, and/or...)
Health is mostly maintenance. You have to act in "healing" ways consistently if you don't want to spend your life in a cycle of pain -> fix -> same pain again. And the younger you start, the better your results will be.
So yeah, treat the youth and yourself like beached orcas and drink that water.
the fact that pro-monarchy arguments have degenerated, over the past few centuries, from “the king rules by divine right and is accountable to nobody but god”, to “uhm the royals generate a lot of income from tourism” will never stop being extremely funny to me
the monarchs… bad. but the castles? oh, the castles are positively lush with rats… 👅
Delete this account immediately.
certified iconic post
The force is strong in this family
someone take Photoshop away from me
This is the best post I’ve seen all week
Got an interesting take on eldritch horror for all you writers out there. It's a bit of a roundabout schlep to reach the actual idea, but writers tend to be readers so I hold you'll stick with me til we get there.
So, consider a 2D creature. Little flat dude, living on the ground. No concept of "up" or "down." He's 2D, he just doesn't parse the concepts and can't perceive them anyways.
He sees you. What he actually sees is just the 2D cross section of you where you intersect with his 2D world, which is probably your footprints. So, as far as he can tell, you are a pair of footprints that are.... apparently one being? He doesn't get how it works exactly, but it's not too far out there, so he just kind of accepts that, yes, humans are The Two That Are One. Spooky. They always seem to use the singular to refer to the pair of themselves, and only differentiate between themselves as Left or Right. But other paired instances of The Two That Are One are, in fact, separate entities. So they're only in sets of two, unless accompanied by a companion called "Cane," which they are sometimes, or even a pair of companions called "Crutches." When Crutches are present, sometimes one of The Two That Are One will be missing entirely. It's a little confusing.
But wait, what now? They disappear and reappear in sequence, teleporting in turns. He never sees them just move like a 2D being, always the stop-start teleporting. Apparently this strange power is called "walking," and its accomplished by The Two That Are One moving through an unseen dimension called "Up," through a process called "lifting" themselves and re-entering the real world farther away in the direction they wanted to go. He can accept the idea of unseen dimensions, and he vaguely gets the idea that one of The Two That Are One must remain anchored in the real world to prevent something called "falling," which is some kind of uncontrolled movement through the unperceivable dimension of "Down." Which is the same dimension as "Up," but...... backwards? Reversed? He's not really clear, but "Falling Down" is presumably bad, so The Two That Are One keep one of themselves here in the real world to prevent it.
Except if they do something called "jumping." Which consists of gathering up their power to hurl themselves through the Up dimension together to reappear together somewhere else in the real world. He isn't sure why they Walk instead of Jump, since it seems better to take both of The Two That Are One together at the same time, but okay.
Okay, what the hell, they can Walk through impenetrable barriers like the great wall of Sidewalk Chalk? How do they go through that? What? They went "Over?" The hell is "Over?" Like 'around' but through the unseen dimension of Up? But they couldn't Walk through the barrier of Wall. Why could they go "Over" Sidewalk Chalk but not Wall?
And they can't go between the four small obstacles of Refrigerator Feet. The area between them is safe from The Two That Are One, for the four Refrigerator Feet are connected to each other in the strange and eldritch dimension of Up. The barriers are too powerful to be moved by The Two That Are One, and it (they?) cannot enter the real world where it is blocked by such powerful forces.
Got all that?
Okay, now consider a 4 dimensional elder god and how we 3D entities would perceive them.
1.03 we can kill people → [random scd scenes 8//??] sheila: i leave you for five fucking minutes and you bond with my dinner? joel: we had a lot in common. sheila: yeah, you're both high.
shaking six year old me by the shoulders YOU WERE RIGHT. YOU WERE RIGHT ABOUT LOVE AND ABOUT FAIRNESS AND ABOUT SHARING IS CARING. YOU WERE RIGHT. THE ADULTS DON’T KNOW ANY MORE ABOUT TRUTH THAN YOU DO. KEEP BELIEVING IN THE FAIRIES AT THE BOTTOM OF THE GARDEN. NOTHING IS “JUST THE WAY IT IS”. I AM SORRY THEY EVER CONVINCED YOU TO FEEL SHAME. YOU ARE REAL AND A PART OF THIS WORLD. YOU WERE RIGHT.
“Instead of saying frankly to children, ‘How do you do? Welcome to the human race! We are playing a game and we are playing by the following rules. We want to tell you what the rules are so that you know your way around, and when you understood what rules we are playing by, when you get older, you may be able to invent better ones.’ “But instead of that, we still retain an attitude to the child that he is on probation; he is not really a human being, he is a candidate for humanity. And in just this way, we have a whole system of preparation of the child for life which always is preparation and never actually gets there.”
I think that what's brilliant about The Far Side is how it can imply an entire narrative with only a single panel. It's sequential art without the sequence. Like this one
There's the obvious implication of what's going to happen in the future (there's going to be a hunt), but it also stretches into the past: what circumstances in the anthropology of this group of cavemen must have happened to establish a tradition of dancing with Woolly Mammoths? Why does it, in spite of it's obvious absurdity, feel kind of right that there should be a dance before the cavemen and the mammoths engage in mortal combat? The reluctant fearful expression on the caveman at the bottom; is this his first hunt? Are those his elders trying to reassure him? Does the one mammoth actually seem to fancy him? What about the one looking fearfully back at his friends? How does he feel that the others aren't there to reassure him? One of the mammoths in the upper right looks just as fearful as the cavemen; why? etc.
And all of this is purely evoked. There's only simple line-drawing and two sentences of text, but you see it and it reminds you of other sorts of narratives you've seen or experienced, and your brain constructs a whole temporal sequence; and any possible answer you could get to above the questions would never be as satisfying as what your brain fills in.
I could write an entire essay about this.
pls reblog to break containment and get a larger sample size
I haven't even read any X-Men yet and this is still the funniest TikTok I've ever seen
Nothing makes me want to call math fake as much as the Monty Hall problem. Not even 0.999999... equaling 1. Yes I understand the proof yes it technically makes sense but I just hate the Monty Hall problem so, so much.
Is that the game show one with the doors?
Correct. The basic scenario is that there is a car behind one door and a goat behind two doors, and you don't know which is which but the game show host does. If you pick the door with the car, you win the car. The host let's you pick a door, then opens one of the two doors you didn't pick, revealing a goat. The host then offers you one last chance to switch your pick from your original door to the other remaining closed door.
The Monty Hall problem states that you should always switch your pick, and that by doing so you will double your chances of winning the car.
Which, intuitively, that's nonsense. Your choice has no actual impact on the reality of the situation. You're guessing blindly the same as before, it's just now that you have a one-in-two chance of guessing the right door instead of a one-in-three chance.
EXCEPT
During your first round of choosing, you had a 1/3 chance of guessing the car vs a 2/3 chance of guessing a goat, if you were only allowed that one guess. But once it's narrowed down to two doors, one with a goat and one with a car, you're now guaranteed to get the exact opposite outcome of what your original guess would have been if you switch. So if you stick with your first choice, you still have a 1/3 chance of getting the car and 2/3 chance of getting a goat. But if you switch, then suddenly that becomes a 1/3 chance of getting a goat, and a 2/3 chance of getting the car.
It's bullshit and I hate it so much.
I understand it but i hate it, like the maths is right but logically it just doesn't click
See, you understand my pain.
#why doesn’t choosing the same door you already chose have the same effect? that’s what I want to know#like does math not agree with the sage advice of ya authors that not choosing is also a choice?
The trick to it is that you're technically playing two games in a row, and the second one is the only one that you actually have to win.
In the first game, you have two chances to lose (picking a goat) and once chance to win (picking a car). Worse-than-even odds. But the important thing is, you don't actually get a prize for winning this first game. It's just set-up for the second one.
In the second game, sticking with your door is basically saying "I think I made a lucky guess in the first game, I'm sticking with that decision." Switching doors is saying "I don't think I got lucky in the first round, so I'm going to change my decision." You are gambling on whether you won or lost the first game, and what wins or loses you the prize is guessing correctly whether you were lucky in the first game. And because the odds of the first game were worse-than-even, guessing that you lost the first game is the safer bet, because you probably weren't lucky.
The really painful part of it is that our brains want to interpret it all as one game, where you've basically got 50/50 odds no matter what you do. That's what our every instinct is screaming at us should be happening, because the physical endgame is two closed doors, only one of them with something we want behind it, which has been there from the start. But it isn't one game with 50/50 odds. It's two games in a trenchcoat, and their combined odds are skewed.
“You are gambling on whether you won or lost the first game” is in fact the only time the Monty Hall problem has ever made even a shadow of sense to me, and I think you should get an honorary PhD in math or maybe philosophy for writing it down.
That's actually very flattering, especially considering how long I've wrestled with this thing, thank you.
Ok but lets be honest id be happier with a goat
The thing that made the monty hall problem make logical sense to me was to blow it up to stupid proportions:
Imagine the same game, but now at first you have 100 doors to choose from. 99 goats, and one car. Then, once you choose your first door, the gameshow host does *functionally* the same thing as in the original Monty Hall problem, by opening *every other door except one* to reveal a goat. They then ask you whether or not you want to switch. With 3 doors, it feels like nearly the same thing, but with 100 doors, you can reasonably underatand that you were probably wrong at first and that if *all but one of the doors you didn't choose had a goat,* then the odds are VERY high that the door you didn't choose, the survivor out of the goat-opening, probably has a car.
Your first choice in the new game was 1 in 100, a 1% chance of being right, which means the "every other door" choice had a 99% chance of being right. When all but one of the other doors are opened to reveal goats, it seems like a no-brainer to switch your answer, because it is.
Once the other doors are revealed to be goats, the final unopened door you didn't choose has a much higher chance of being the right door. This is famous for being the case with 3 doors, but it holds even more accurate the more dud doors you have initially, and makes a bit more sense then, too.
top stories about weird shit that happened behind the scenes of doctor who
adding some of my personal favorites:
I know it’s New Who, but I feel like it’s very in keeping with tradition: that time Peter Capaldi was filming in a power station at 3 AM and came back from a break soaking wet because he was looking for food, pushed a button out of curiosity, and the button activated some sort of shower.
doctor who heritage post
