this shit is so Jeff the fucked up
Critics are Jeff the raving for this one
Y'know. Can't remember the last time I saw a dickbutt.
actually the fact tumblr glitches and treats you like a new user when youre not is really funny. could you imagine taking a bite out of a fucking big mac or whatever and a whole crowd of people jump out and start cheering and congratulating you on learning how to eat
people from the us trying to think up analogy: "this is just like if mcdonald hamburger"
never disrespect my mcdonald hamburger ever again do you know how many rock and roll disk i had to sacrifice to get this thing
pretty cool how you went on a heroic journey to gain the power needed to defeat me. unfortunately i was on a cooler, villainous journey
T Count: 9
Letter Count: 109
Your T Percentage: 8.26%
Average T Percentage: 10.25%
You used the letter T 0.81 times as much as average.
You used the letter
T 0.81 times
as much as average.
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.
well well well, look who’s back
hey don't cry, ‘large’ creature with 20 arms found lurking in Antarctic sea, okay??
Pictures from the original publication:
Emily L. McLaughlin, Nerida G. Wilson and Greg W. Rouse. 2023. Resolving the Taxonomy of the Antarctic Feather Star Species Complex Promachocrinus ‘kerguelensis’ (Echinodermata: Crinoidea). Invertebrate Systematics. 37(7); 498-527.
3:28am thinking about Him (captain death of the terrible privateer)
nominative determinism win: captain death died
I GOT A FUCKING RAISE THE POTATO WORKED WTF
This potato works. Every. Fucking. Time.
Reblogging because it’s a damn potato and I want to encourage people to assume potatoes are magical.
w-what if potato is actually lucky
The 2024 republican primary is gonna be buck wild.
De Santis: "Hello median American voter, the only thing I have for you is transphobia."
Trump: "Ron De-sanctamonius you're little pudding fingers boy."
Biden: "Back in Scranton we used to make a thing called Dirt Nachos."
Why is Biden in the Republican primary
Got lost
A Cut Above
Pokémon x Saiki K crossover!
Also they both get crop tops and eye shadow because yes.
I might expand on this AU in the future but we’ll see, so suggestions for which character should be which are very welcome!
I like how teens are too young to figure out their sexuality unless its heterosexual
Idk how people find this old post like once a week but I will say as a closeted 15 year old nothing can describe how much confidence it gave me that everyone agreed with me. That it’s all bullshit. I was so angry and frustrated at the world not taking me seriously, and the thousands and thousands of people reblogging showed me that I wasn’t alone. I wasn’t crazy and heteronormativity is all bullshit. Being queer is as natural as breathing air.
Please imagine some warrior culture (e.g. Klingons) getting super into video game esports in a relatively war-less setting and just getting insane about it
Like everyone at first thinks "haha, they probably don't understand video games because they're a bunch of bloodthirsty brutes" and it's a fuckin Space Orc Sweep at the Space Esports Tournament. Orc Devin, a scrawny nerd of an orc, gets absolutely HOISTED by his yoked-to-the-nines parents who are just so proud that their weakest son is their most victorious warrior. His fighting is done with more finesse, battling with his hands, mind, and eyes instead of RIPPLING BICEPS and POWERFUL GUTS and BARREL-CRUSHING THIGHS, but he battles nonetheless. His space hometown honors him with his own sword and a plaque. They rent out a space billboard bragging about how Orc Devin kicked everyone's asses and was the Most Badass Motherfucker in this cool new digital warfare they are now starting to get probably too-into as a culture.
WHERE NATURE DID NOT FAVOUR HIM AT BIRTH, HE SOUGHT OUT BATTLE NONETHELESS.
CRUSHING NOT THE BODIES OF HIS OPPONENTS, BUT THEIR VERY MINDS AND SPIRITS.
LIMITED NOT BY THE REACH OF A SWORD, HIS CONQUESTS AND VICTORIES SPAN THE UNIVERSE.
A NOBLE WARRIOR INDEED.
My buddy lives in China so when the sun is setting for him, it’s rising for me. So, naturally, I sent him this
the woman in the river shows me an axe of silver and asks if it is the one I lost. I respond that it is. she produces an axe of gold and asks the same question again. I shamefully look away, not sure whether I'm comfortable admitting that I was dual wielding
she stares at me in abject confusion as I take stock of my tools. a look of dissatisfaction brews on her face. "but why is one golden?" the woman asks.
I tug nervously at my coat, feeling the slightest bit insulted. "well, it's not cheap to have a matching pair," I tell her. "not everyone can afford two golden axes."
"why not two silver axes?"
"I had the money for one golden axe."
the woman crosses her arms. "but the gold is worse for everything you'd want an axe to do."
"it's not. it was more expensive and also really hard to find."
"gold" she says, "is softer than silver."
"it's literally not, though," I say. "that's a really common misconception, but pure silver is softer than gold."
"most metal sold as silver is actually an alloy. that axe is probably sterling silver. I don't believe for a second someone made you a pure silver axe."
I look at my axe, then back to the woman, then back to my axe.
"it was pure silver when it went into the river."
an unreadable expression. with a great splash, the woman disappears into the current.