as if!

this actually is rewiring my brain as we speak

heart-shaped things are the backbone of society

I feel so cunt when my thoughts become form

— Mikko Harvey, from “For M,” Foundry (no. 9, September 2018)

bad

i looked up the source for this and its from an anime where a dude has to keep a constant boner for a month straight or he loses his house

is this the episode where he lost his house

What I expected moving to texas: oh hm, cowboy boot... steak..,? the ole' prairie. youve been invited to,come lasso a tumbleweed,! 'howdy there sherriff' as a tramp stamp tattoo. Sweet teA hp potion... country girls make do

What I got when I moved to texas: i cant really leave the house bc theres about 20-30 of these big blue crabs that came up from their underground tunnels bc of the wet and rainy weather all standing on the patio having a fucking clawnference meeting

im literally hyperventilating

“But if you forget to reblog Madame Zeroni, you and your family will be cursed for always and eternity.”

not even risking that shit

scrolled past this, re-evaluated my life, then SCROOOLLLED back up and hit the damn reblog button. 

Last comment same thing. Sorry to the next person who sees this. I just can’t risk it. I have things I need to do before my life becomes hell. Lol

man i fucking hate yall who tf put this up knowing damn well we all gonna reblog it im heated im really sick af bout this 

I don’t play that shit lol sorry

WHyyyy

Sorry everyone

If only if only the woodpecker sighs the bark on the tree was as soft as the sky why the wolf waits below hungry and lonely he cries to the moon if only if only

Shiddd

this post followed me to Facebook and im sooo annoyed!

It’s been a MINUTE since I’ve seen Madame Zeroni, fr fr

I HATE TUMBLR FKKKK SAKES

LMAOOOO

Not tryna fuck up any of my planetary Returns~

One time I didn’t and I was broke for like a month but the next time I seen it I rebloged it and a bitch just got 500 out the blue and a 20 gift card

sorry guys not taking chances..

Some of y’all about to be real mad at me APPARENTLY

I’M SORRY

Pants + no blankets: too hot uncomfortable terrible

No pants + blankets: fun great temperature perfect

mood: bedridden victorian child

papah …… am i going to die ?

pâpâ…………i’m colde ….

will grándmama be there? in the light??

[puts far more meat than is reasonable into tortilla] [tortilla doesn’t fold fully or correctly] bullshit. what’s wrong with you. fuck you

I went out for drinks with some coworkers as tomorrow’s my last day at the job, and asked one I didn’t know super well about his pet rabbit

“My girlfriend had it since she was a teenager,” said he. “It has kind of a weird name as a result.”

“Oh yeah? It’s not like, Jessica Rabbit, or something from Watership Down, is it?”

“No, no, it’s just… its name is Plot.”

I had a horrible moment where I was choking on my Jack and Coke cry-laughing with all the hilarity of the mild intoxicated person who really needs to order some barfood. Sadly, no one else got that my coworker had a literal plotbunny.

Same energy

Energy

When you insist on treating your friend

remember when you were a kid and whenever your parents came into the room while you were doing something for pleasure like looking at something on the computer or watching tv and you’d immediately close the thing like you’d just been caught watching porn when you were actually doing nothing wrong this post was made by strict parents with no boundaries gang

Snowing at sea