And then you realize being heartless & empty is all that ever makes sense in the end.
I asked, if he was disappointed.
"No", he said.
" I didn't expect more from you. "
And I felt my heart shattering. I knew I had made a mistake, and I couldn't make it right. I wanted him to love me so much, and I wanted everyone to do so. I didn't know what to do, and I still don't.
localanxioustrash-deactivated20
A people pleasear pretending to be cold hearted.
“It is so much safer not to feel, not to let the world touch me.”
—
Can’t you fall in love and not have a possessive relationship? I love someone and she loves me and we get married—that is all perfectly straightforward and simple, in that there is no conflict at all. (When I say we get married I might just as well say we decide to live together—don’t let’s get caught up in words.) Can’t one have that without the other, without the tail as it were, necessarily following? Can’t two people be in love and both be so intelligent and so sensitive that there is freedom and absence of a centre that makes for conflict? Conflict is not in the feeling of being in love. The feeling of being in love is utterly without conflict. There is no loss of energy in being in love. The loss of energy is in the tail, in everything that follows—jealousy, possessiveness, suspicion, doubt, the fear of losing that love, the constant demand for reassurance and security. Surely it must be possible to function in a sexual relationship with someone you love without the nightmare which usually follows. Of course it is.
— Jiddu Krishnamurti
Adrienne Rich, from Diving into the Wreck; “The phenomenology of anger”
everything comes to you when you actually , truly let go. often times , this shows up as the energy of completely giving up. when you release your energetic grip , or desire for control in a situation — your desire will come to you much more rapidly.
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