unwashed queen of the river

The only good thing staff added recently

Mutuals we are doing this

"i cant watch shows about fantasy kingdoms without thinking about how they should be abolishing the monarchy" that my friend sounds like a skill issue

if im watching the lord of the rings extended edition i am a monarchist for 682 minutes

the blogsitter called the blog owner and said "everything's great, but can i cover up the creepy clown jpeg next to the dashboard? it's kinda freaking me out" the blog owner got quiet and then said "take the blog and leave the website right now. i don't have a creepy clown jpeg"

sometimes you need to give up committing to the bit when someone genuinely can’t tell if it’s a bit or not and is getting distressed about it :/ sorry

sometimes all u need to do is take one second to say "(yeah this is a bit)" if someone is genuinely asking because they genuinely can't tell, and then you can continue with the bit. i just feel like refusing to acknowledge someone saying "i cant tell if youre joking or not" and you just continue, or even say, "im not joking" then you're not being very funny, you're just being kind of mean, i think.

obviously there is nuance to this and if you know someone really well sometimes going in harder on the bit will make them get that it's a bit and that's fine if you know them. but just be mindful, yknow? not everyone can pick up on stuff like that, and pushing harder on a bit by saying "im serious" when someone asks if you're joking or not can be harmful in some situations.

So I was made to feel old today...

Two decades today

laptop overheating?? pour water on it to cool it down!

i trusted you

Do not trust people like me. I will take you to museums, and parks, and monuments, and kiss you in every beautiful place, so that you can never go back to them without tasting me like blood in your mouth. I will destroy you in the most beautiful way possible. And when I leave you will finally understand, why storms are named after people

my little cousin confidently declared that mother nature had a counterpart named daddy electric and i feel like this concept needs to be explored

Daddy Electric and Mother Nature sounds like a cute 70s act

at the goth bbq eating corn on the macabre

i want you to know i never post lightly

thats ok mozilla firefox. What was that noise you just made though

Y'all can keep at it with that “Romeo and Juliet fell in love in five days how immature” shiz but Macbeth went from no murder to yes murder in like one afternoon and I feel like one of those is a significantly bigger problem than the other

In his defense his wife triple dog dared him and called him a pussy

hello september. i’m greeted by your moss covered hands and dew on the windowsill. things are changing once again. this time, i let them.

when you're a child and you stay up past your bedtime you get punished by your parents, when you're an adult and you stay up too late you just get punished by the ghosts and spirits and demons and such

crawling out of august covered in blood

best thing i ever accepted about people is that most people are just kind of gross like, physically

like most people have gross little bad habits and let the laundry go a little too long and sweat in weird places and are messy eaters and have weird laughs and are a little greasy and asymettrical and have stains and tears and wear on the things they own and its like literally fine and human. we dont need to worry about that stuff and frankly we should kill whoever is responsible for making us think humans are even capable of being perfectly polished made up hygeine machines 24/7. we are little animals we came from the dirt and sometimes you scratch your buttcrack or pick at scabs or what the fuck ever it is literally normal animal behaviour !!! let the soft animal of your body ect ect nd sometimes the soft animal of your body is a little yucky.

elborate in the tags why, if you feel like