A family portrait
A beautiful family portrait right? Let’s take a closer look shall we?
Here we have the two matriarchs of the family. Franch who loves the chaos and Naeher who, at every family gathering, wonders how the hell everyone is still alive.
Next up, the kids and the kids’ kids
Oldest Child: Carli. She desperately tries to be as cool as her daughters. Birth order: Pinoe (who’s pretends to be above the fray but cares deeply), Frat Daddy (who gives zero fucks and lets her mom know it), and Crystal (who actually runs the show).
Child #2: Tobin. Preath are the Cool AuntsTM who love to spoil their nieces but also wince at almost everything that happens. They were “roommates” for years and it was the biggest event of the year when they tried to elope and the entire family showed up at the courthouse.
Middle child: Ash. Married Ali* and all their gay energy rubbed off on their two straight daughters: Alex and JJ.
*Ali’s brother Kyle is known as “Uncle Kyle” to all the grandkids and manages to go to every single school activity for every single grandkid with his trusty steed Angus by his side.
Child #4: Becky. Her kids have it figured out, Mal distracts her while Rose and Lindsey constantly almost kill each other, with fun. And Allie photographs it all, for…prosperity not blackmail. Obviously.
Youngest child: Dahlpepper. Has a very hands off approach when it comes to parenting, Morgan and Sonny are proof it works.
No one is sure who Mewis, Davidson, and Macdonald are related to. They just kinda showed up as a pod at one point and now if they don’t show up to every event they get angry voicemails from Alyssa, Megan, Ash, and Kyle.