Cue Something Inspirational

Unless you hit me in the face with a brick that says “I’m flirting with you,” I’m most likely just gonna think you’re being nice.

@panequality5213

Hi stranger

@ all my followers

@panequality5213

Want to collaborate on a Google Doc with Nietzsche, Shakespeare, Dostoyevsky, Dickinson, Dickens and Poe? 

Click here. Start typing. Enjoy the hilarity. 

Ninja Update: Wanna see something fun? Mention Shakespeare in a sentence and see what happens. 

Poe kept writing distinctly into my sentences so I wrote ”Edgar, you’re not funny” aND HE BLATANTLY DELETED THE NOT I AM SO DONE WITH THIS ASDFKJL

OH GOD IF YOU TYPE “EDGAR ALLAN POE” POE ADDS A :( AFTER HIS NAME PRECIOUS BABY

Oh my God so I typed ‘Shakespeare’ and Shakespeare butted in and wrote ‘The lovely and handsome Shakespeare’ but Poe burst in saying ‘The dreadful and lonely Shakespeare’.

aND FYODOR DOSTOYVESKY ADDED ‘ I do not wish to make myself a laughing-stock before these idle listeners.”

I’M DONE.

Look what they did to All Star by Smash Mouth

“Somebody once hushedly told me the world is going to roll me. I ain’t the sharpest tool in the shed. She was looking kind of glocky with her finger and her thumb in the shape of a “L” on her forehead. Well, the years start voraciously coming and they don’t stop coming; fed to the rules and I hit the ground running. It didn’t make sense absolutely to live for fun. Thy brain gets smart but your head gets dumb. So much to do, so much to behold. So what’s wrong with taking the back busy thoroughfares? In everything one thing is impossible: rationality. You’ll never know if thou don’t go. “You’ll never shine if you don’t glow”, he growled incoherently. Hey presently, you’re an All Star. Get your game on; go play. Hey now, you’re a Rock Star. Get the show on; get laid. As well as all that glitters is gold, only shooting stars break the mold. ~All Star by Smash Estuary of opinion…”

Imagine putting your research paper in here and letting them go at it.

OH MY GOD I WAS WRITING AND EDGAR WOULDN’T STOP FIXING THINGS SO I WROTE “Edgar shut up I’m trying to write” and he changed it to “Edgar shut up I’m meagerly attempting to write” THIS FUCKING ASSHOLE

I typed in “Hello” and Shakesphere erased it and wrote “Begone with this rubbish.”

HOW R00d

I typed “party in the Usa” and Poe changed party to “ill-fated gathering”

I just used it to yell at Dickens about Tale of Two Cities, I am happy now

I typed in ‘hello other writers’ and Edgar Allen Poe changed it to ‘Hello secondary writers’

After I had been writing for a while Edgar suddenly deleted my last sentence and wrote “THE END.” rude son of a bitch

I have to try this.

Rebageled again but to add if the link above doesn’t work, try this one instead.

if ur lgbt+ im curious: if u can remember, what was your first major Gay Ship?

all these answers are important to me what a nice post

Florence Welch singing “Part Of Your World” from (The Little Mermaid)

I am cured, my acne is gone and I don’t feel depressed.

Also the Enterprise vs. Millennium Falcon debate has never ceased to confuse me, like, you’re basically wondering who’d win in a fight between a fully staffed US Navy research vessel armed with harpoons and torpedos and all sorts of other boat vessels OR your weedman and his sweet vintage van, his buddy riding shotgun with a crossbow

This year was wild af wow

Pretty sure this is the sequel to ‘we didn’t start the fire’

Lmao this American girl walked up to a Hungry Jacks (Burger King) register with her drink and really, really loudly (I was at the other side of the place) proclaimed: “I asked for Lemonade, you gave me Sprite” in a really bitchy, entitled voice.

The cashier (and everyone within earshot) just looked at her like “the fuck is wrong with you”

In Australia, Sprite IS lemonade as far as we’re concerned.

Enjoy your 90c refund you cheap ass ho.

“Sprite IS lemonade as far as we’re concerned”

@fleamont can you verify?

Yeah this is correct. Lemonade is sprite. Clear fizzy liquid type thing. Solo is closer to what American lemonade is but we don’t actually have what you guys consider lemonade anyway so she was never going to get what she wanted lmao.

Y'ALL AIN’T GOT LEMONADE?!?!??

madness…

“we don’t actually have what you guys consider lemonade“

That entire continent exists on a different realm of existence

What the… Lmao

Why is it called lemonade then? 🤔

@casualswfan What is wrong with you guys?

IT IS THE SAME DAMN THING. You Yankees and your fifty brands of the same :P

LEMONADE AND SPRITE ARE NOTHING ALIKE

Things heating up in the drink fandom

I’m pretty sure the same is true in the UK at least was in 2010 except Sprite didn’t seem to be a common brand so I’d ask for Sprite get blank looks eventually figured out to ask for lemonade 

Sprite is a recognised brand here, but it’s not omnipresent, it is also considered a brand of lemonade.

This is fucked up.

Sprite: lemon-lime soda (pop/carbonated beverage). Lemonade: lemons, water, and sugar. Still.

LEMONADE IS NOT CARBONATED WHATT HEFUCC CK ARE YOU ALL DOIGN

Living? Sensibly?

Also on what planet does Sprite have lime in it.

Sprite, the lemon-lime flavored carbonated beverage, is made on Earth.

Earth is the third planet from the Sun, the densest planet in the Solar System, the largest of the Solar System’s four terrestrial planets, and the only astronomical object known to harbor Sprite.

The people of Earth are known as “Earthlings” or “Spriteloids” interchangeably (although not to each other).

At least in the UK, if you order lemonade you’ll sometimes get Sprite, but if it’s proper it’s a lemon soda akin to the Italian gassosa - less sweet than Sprite.

Oh shit, I’ve had gassosa, it’s AMAZING.

I just want to say that the whole ‘lemonade and Sprite are interchangeable’ is pretty common throughout Asia as well, in my experience

@bre-e-e-e what madness is this?!?!?!?!

@kingkilling-and-stormlight so… what you are all saying is. Lemonade is … not fizzy… in America?

You guys have orange juice at least, right? Grapefruit juice? In the US, Lemonade is a juice, like orange juice, but made with lemons instead of oranges. You can buy “fresh squeezed lemonade” at many restaurants and fast food venues. Typically it’s diluted a bit with sugar water, so the sour flavor of the raw lemon juice isn’t so overpowering. 

In the south, it’s very common for people buy whole lemons and make their own lemonade at home using a citrus juicer.

In Germany, you’d ask for “Limonade” and yeah, you may get a Sprite or a Fanta; it’ll always be a fizzy nonalcoholic drink and usually come in lemon, lime, orange flavor. Only in healthfood or hipster establishments would it ever be an actual juice drink.

As a fan of homemade rosewater lemonade, I am twitching at the thought of sickly sweet carbonated beverages that taste like they were invented by someone who may have been in the same room as a citrus fruit once but can’t remember what it actually tastes like being called lemonade.

Wtf did y'all think beyonce was talking about????

oh wow I hadn’t even considered that. Like millions of people worldwide hearing the album title but not understanding what lemonade means even on the most superficial level.

This is so epically disturbing. Lemonade is such an integral part of spring and summertime. I just … this breaks my brain and my heart. The cultural references too. Just, all the American shows that reference lemonade and people in other countries are thinking Sprite? There’s a reason kids do freshly squeezed lemonade stands. You can’t buy it like that from a store. And there’s nothing quite like screwing it up and getting the sugar ratio wrong. And parents grinning through the too sour or too sweet mess and praising your efforts. Lemonade Is a Thing.

Wait does that mean Aussies make Shandies with sprite?????

Does this mean a significant portion of the global population don’t know what to do when life hands you lemons?

Yes, Australians make Shandies with our carbonated soft drink lemonade, though if you’re using it as a mixer, you’re less likely to be using Sprite and more likely to be using Schweppes, which looks like this:

Like. We absolutely have a concept of flat, juice-based lemonade, but as an earlier commenter said, it’s a niche hipster speciality rather than the default, and even then, it’s still going to be premade rather than fresh. 

OH GOD THAT’S WHY AMERICAN CHILDREN CAN MAKE IT AND SELL IT SO EASILY. I ALWAYS WONDERED HOW KIDS COULD MAKE A CARBONATED DRINK AT HOME.

Reblogging for Beyonce. This thread is gold.

@cresselian

“the millenium falcon would wipe out the enterprise in seconds” lmao the enterprise is just an innocent science class floating thru space…. all they wanna do is look at some rocks… kiss an alien…. find some space plants….. why would you fight that its not a battleship theyre just nerds…… leave them olone 

A friend of mine saw this and brought up some interesting arguments

so, in other words,

Pretty much.

here have some size comparison

it has been like at least eight years and sometimes I still think to myself, when I am tired, “but I am le tired… well then take a nap! AND THEN FIRE ZE MISSILES” even though in retrospect that is like one of the most embarrassingly unfunny videos to ever come out of the internet 

tbh i still start sentences with “hokay, so” at least 3 times a day 

same, aggressively so. I also still use “wtf, mate.”

#i have no idea what this is referring to#but i’m relieved to know i’m not the only one out there randomly quoting old internet videos#some shit is always hilarious to me (x)

OH MAN

LET ME LEARN YOU A THING

who doesn’t think this is STILL AS HILARIOUS as it was when we all watched it over and over and over again 15 years ago?

My husband and I still quote this to this day.

I give the full “hokey, so… here’s the earth” whenever I’m stumbling over my words or trying to figure out what to say.

AND WHO SAYS THIS VIDEO ISN’T FUNNY!?!?!?!?  I WILL FIGHT YOU!

What the fuck kind of a heretic doesn’t think this is funny?

HOLY SHIT I REMEMBER THIS

Never forget.

I also quote this a lot and people look at me like I’m nuts

h’okay so…

WHY DOES THIS POST GET EVEN WORSE EVERY TIME I SEE IT

DUDE

(plays the guitar)

Feliz Navidad Feliz Navidad Feliz Navidad Prospero Ano y Felicidad

(aggressively headbangs)

I WANNA WISH YOU A MERRY CHRISTMAS I WANNA WISH YOU A MERRY CHRISTMAS I WANNA WISH YOU A MERRY CHRISTMAS FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEAAAART

a flourishing anus and happiness for you too

OH.

Why Accent Marks Are Important In Spanish Lesson 1

Normally I gif my favorite scenes. But this would not be the same without the audio. The harmonizing!

THIS WAS SUCH A PERFECT MOMENT

The Best Dog Tweets of 2016 (see 30 more)

Previously: The Best Cat Tweets of 2016

Well, I have a new favourite poet.

this is like someone who was writing in his journal when it happened and this is all he could write

REBLOG WITH YOUR SUN SIGN AND ALIGNMENT!!

Libra, True Neutral (go figure)

virgo, neutral good

scorpio, chaotic neutral

scorpio, chaotic evil

taurus, lawful good

Scorpio, chaotic neutral

libra, true neutral

Gemini, neutral good

Libra, Lawful Good

u would get lawful good you borin bitch

libra chaotic neutral

virgo chaotic good

libra, chaotic neutral

This gif will be the death of me. They’re English subtitles of the Chinese version.

I’m laughing so hard I’m crying I can’t choose the best one.

wait for the founders names oh my god its worth it

Hogwarts: school of meloncraft and melonry

Tag yourself I’m (Super Magic Water)

I’m Miss Gland

“How’s school going?”