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Dick Grayson Appreciation

@alotoffandomtrash

Fandom mess

Alfred: Why are there small handprints on the wall!?

Bruce, whispering to Dick: Why are there small handprints on the wall?

9-years-old Dick, whispering back: Because my hands are small.

Bruce, smiling to Alfred: Because his hands are small.

[Later that day]

Alfred: *puts an empty frame around Dick's small and colorful handprints on the wall that says "small art" at the bottom of the frame* Now that's better.

Batman: you think your life is hard?
Batman: my children went to Walmart in full gear, just so they did not have to wait in line.
Batman: now everyone is questioning why nightwing was buying groceries,
Batman: why robin was sitting in the cart and playing cheese Vikings on his gauntlet,
Batman: why red hood and red robin were chasing each other around,
Batman: why spoiler was eating frozen waffles
Batman: why black bat just calmly followed them,
Batman: why signal was pretending not to know them,
Batman: and why catwoman was monitoring them while even helping them with getting groceries.
Green arrow: I mean.. they are kinda on to something there.. waiting in line sucks.
Batman: don’t you dare encourage them.

Knock-Knock

Bruce [sitting hunched over with the darkest of bags under his eyes]: I've called all of you here today because of the video that appeared on my social media this afternoon and has 'gone viral'.
His kids: *gathered in a seated circle on the ground like a kindergarten reading group*
Bruce [visibly upset]: I'm not upset. I just want to know who made it.
Harper [leaning over to whisper]: What's he on about, now?
Duke [whispering back]: Someone stitched together a couple hundred clips of everybody--
Jason [also whispering]: --getting the living s**t beaten out of them, crashing into windows and lampposts, falling off buildings--
Dick [in a slightly louder tone]: --getting chased by angry dogs, faceplanting on the pavement, totally biffing it against street signs, being hit by cars--
Damian: --or buses. Or taxis. Being pepper-sprayed or maced--
Steph: --or that one clip of Tim getting smacked in the face with an old lady's handbag on a loop. Which, for the record, is a *nice* touch.
Tim [rubbing his face with a grimace]: She had a brick in there. Like a friggin' sadist.
Jason [smiling fondly]: Ah, good old Mildred.
Duke [to Harper]: --And they put the whole thing to the 'It's The Hard Knock Life' song from Annie.
Duke: And...posted it to Bruce's personal accounts.
Harper: Oh s**t.
Bruce [raising his voice]: The POINT, everyone, is that we've become the laughingstock of the internet, and much more importantly, it would appear that one of you takes some sort of issue with me that needs to be addressed.
The Kids:
The Kids:
The Kids: *burst into violent laughter*
Bruce [frowning]: Oracle? Can you trace the video's origin?
Barbara [chuckling, and wiping away a stray tear of laughter]: Ah, well, you know what they say, Bruce. Snitches get stitches, and you don't pay me near enough to cover *that* hospital bill!
Bruce: I don't pay you at all.
The Kids: *dying in the background*
Bruce [impatient]: I'm dead serious. Which one of you is responsible?
The Kids: *hands going up one by one*
Dick: Assembly!
Tim: Editing!
Damian: Audio mixing.
Jason: Shooting!
Duke: He means filming! Which I also did.
Steph: Lighting effects and song choice! You're so welcome!
Cass: Emotional support.
Harper [laughing at her phone screen]: Retweeting! Holy S**T, guys!
Bruce [aghast]: ALL of you?
The Kids: *grinning*
Alfred: Not me, sir.
Bruce: I know, Alfred. You'd never--
Alfred: I was far too busy sending it to all of your friends in the Justice League.
Bruce:
The Kids [losing their s**t]: OOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH
Bruce:
Alfred: Always happy to be of service, sir.
Dick: “Yeah, but we expect this kind of stuff from Jason. Not you. You’re the good one.”
Tim: “What? How am I the good one?”
Dick: “Well, it’s definitely not me.”
Damian: “What?”
Tim: “How is it not you?”
Jason: “All I know is that I’m the bad one.”
Damian: “No, I’m the bad one. Wait, do you mean bad kid or bad Robin? There’s a difference.”
Jason: “What’s that?”
Damian: “Well, I’m obviously the bad Robin. I killed people.”
Jason: “So have I, you’re not special.”
Damian: “But I’m the only Robin who killed someone while wearing the suit.”
Dick: *side-eyes Jason*
Jason: *looks directly at the wall, whistling innocently*
Tim: “Are we missing something here?”
Dick, completely ignoring him: “Anyway, that’s not the point of this. Tim is the good kid.”
Tim: “How?”
Dick: “You’re the only one of us who hasn’t killed someone.”
Damian: *stares at him*
Jason: *stares at him*
Dick: *looks anywhere but at his brothers*
Damian: “...Wait a second, when did you—”
Jason: “Who the fuck did you kill?”
Dick: *looks at Tim*
Tim: *shrugs*
Dick: “You, uh... you might want to sit down, Jay—”
[Family Meeting]
Bruce: I'd like to adress the sudden rise in animosity the villains have shown towards Robin.
Jason, just back from a mission: [leaned back in his chair with his arms crossed] more than usual you mean?
Tim: A lot more.
Dick: Dami has recently decided to forget what the villains are called.
Jason: I- wait what?
Damian: [imperiously] I simply decided that memorising the names of criminals was an ineffective use of my cognitive faculties. Better I recall their behavioural patterns.
Jason: What exactly did you do?
-
Riddler: [appears dramatically in a puff of smoke] Well well, if it isn't the little bird?
Robin: [coldly] Question man.
Riddler:
Riddler: It's "the Riddler"
Robin: Who cares?
Riddler: [sputtering]
-
Robin: [drops down from the ceiling to interrupt a meeting between Penguin and his people]
Penguin: Great. It's the boy annoyance.
Robin: [cordially] Birdman.
Penguin: I beg your pardon?!
Robin: [without inflection] My apologies. I have come to arrest you, Mister Mumble.
Penguin: Out of all the movies you could have insulted me with-
-
Poison Ivy: Oh my, looks like a little birdie has come for a visit.
Harley Quinn: [grinning] Nice of you to drop in tweety
Robin: [nods to Ivy] Daisy. [to Harley] Miss Mime
Ivy: what
Harley: [cracks her knuckles]
-
Robin: [throws a batarang at clayface]
Clayface: great. a mosquito.
Robin: ...[with distaste] There is no need for insults, Mudpie.
Clayface: ...
-
Robin: [calling in an arrest] Yes, I have apprehended Toto.
Scarecrow: [tied up nearby] Hey!
-
Joker: [Sees Robin swinging down in the middle of a hostage situation] Oh look! it's the cavalary...'s pet.
Robin: [cordially] Mr Quinzel.
Joker:
Joker: Wh-
Robin: You are Harley's husband correct?
Joker: [furious] no!
Robin: My apologies then. I shall endeavor to use your proper name... ... [frowning] Mrs? You are wearing make-up. Is that it? Mrs Quinzel? I did not mean to assume.
Joker: [frothing at the mouth]
-
[back at the meeting]
Tim: to be fair he only does it when they misname HIM.
Damian: I have a name. It is rude not to use it.
Bruce: Damian. There has been seven attempts on your life this week alone. Stop.
Damian: no
Bruce: [grinds his teeth]
Dick: Actually, what ARE Joker's preferred pronouns? Has anyone asked?
Jason: [munching down a power bar] It's Fuckface McKidkiller

Name-Drop

Damian: Absolutely not.
Steph: Pleeeeeeaaaaasssseeee???
Damian: No.
Jason: Name your price. Anything you want. You want someone dead? Consider it done. Need to flee the country for putting out an illegal hit? Say the word.
Damian: .....no.
Jason: Eh, you hesitated...
Damian: No.
Tim: I'll do your homework for a year. I'll chauffer you around wherever you want for a month. I'll be your personal chef--
Steph [through her teeth]: D**n it Tim, we're trying to SELL it.
Damian: Tempting as burnt Ramen sounds, Drake, my answer is still no.
Dick [begging on his knees]: What'll it take, Dami? We'll do anything!
Barbara: You have no idea what kind of power you're holding in your hands right now, kiddo.
Cass: *nods seriously*
Damian: FOR THE LAST TIME, I SAID--
Bruce [walking in]: Hey, now, what's everyone yelling about this time?
Bruce [pulling to a stop]: Please tell me nothing exploded.
Duke: Nah, nothing like that. We're just--
Bruce [going pale]: Nobody's pregnant? No new tattoos? I shouldn't be expecting any more calls from the Argentinian embassy, should I?
Duke: Any more whAT now--?
Steph: Pshh, no! Relax, B! Nothing suspicious going on in here! Just an impromptu family meeting discussing a very boring--
Tim: We're all trying to bribe Damian.
Steph [whispering]: Snitches get stitches, Timberly.
Bruce [furrowing his brow]: And may I ask WHY you're all trying to bribe Damian?
Jason: Cause he's a stubborn little s**t who takes after his dad. Puts a friggin' BAT prefix in front of everything like it's the pinnacle of originality.
Damian [stomping his foot]: Her name is Bat-Hen, and that is final!
Tim: The rest of us wanted to name her Marco Pollo.
Duke [snickering]: Classic.
Jason: But if the demon-brat insists on sticking to his little theme, we're willing to compromise on Bat-cock.
Dick [pointing at Jason]: No the F**K we are not.
Bruce [putting his hands up in the 'time-out' sign]: So hold on, I'm not sure I'm following. You're all trying to name WHO?
Steph: Damian's new chicken.
Bruce [with a relieved sigh]: Oh, okay.
Bruce:
Bruce:
Bruce: his what

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this is fantastic now children in Puerto Rico wont be able to receive the education they deserve thanks to their messed up government

Its even worse than that. I’m living through it. Not only are schools closing, hospitals are collapsing. Only around 9% of the island has electricity and it comes and goes at times.

People are dying in hospitals because of lack of diesel for the generators, a lot of the water is now infected, there are disease outbreaks and scareceness of food. I am safe, but many are not.

Some have water, others don’t. We need help. Sending money would be helpful but what would help even more would be sending water filters, filtering water bottles, food, medicine, if somehow possible diesel.

All of you reblogging this news helps, but what we need is physical help. If you can’t, then spread the word, but God if you can send supplies… Please… PLEASE do. We are dying. Help us, help us save ourselves. Help us save our people. Help us save out ISLAND.

If you’re not in a position to ship or transport useful items to the island (which is sure as heck the case for me in New Zealand) then the best thing you can do is give money to a reputable relief organisation operating in the area.

Image

Choose the fundraiser you want from the dropdown menu in the “Your Information” section (as you can see from the picture they have several).

Reblogging

Maria is over but we’re still going through hell and the effects of it likely won’t fade for years to come thanks to HoW mUCh hElP We rEciEveD so support and awareness is always appreciated

Limits of the Human Body

Body Heat = 107.6 F

Cold Water = 40 F

Hot Air = 300 F

High Altitude = 15,000 ft

Starvation = 45 days

Diving Depth = 282 ft

Lack of Oxygen = 11 minutes

Blood Loss = 40%

Dehydration = 7 days

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Writers finding this post:

Thank you

Europeans about half of this post:

Body Heat = 42 C

Cold Water = 4 C

Hot Air = 148 C

High Altitude = 4572m

Starvation = 45 days

Diving Depth = 390m

Lack Of Oxygen = 11 minutes

Blood Loss = 40%

Dehydration = 7 days

Europeans seeing this version of this post:

Shazam: [First time meeting the league] oh my god this is so cool!! Tell me everything! What are all of your powers?! I mean, I know Superman is like, indestructible and can fly, and Wonder Woman is super strong and invincible, and Aquaman can talk to fish-
Aquaman: That's not-
Shazam: -and Green Lantern can create stuff, and Flash is super fast, and Batman has super strength too-
Superman: Actually, Batman doesn't have powers.
Shazam:
Shazam: Yeah he does. He's a superhero.
Flash: Nope. He's just a regular dude in a bat costume.
Wonder Woman: He's very competent though.
Wonder Woman: [quietly] compared to certain other heroes at least
Green Lantern: [offended] Hey!
Shazam: But- But how does he fight bad guys?
Flash: He punches them with his human fists and then blows them up with expensive weaponry
Shazam: That's insane! How is he not DEAD?!
Green Lantern: That's what we keep asking ourselves
Shazam: But how does he get to the bad guys if he can’t fly and doesn't have super speed?
Aquaman: Well, sometimes he catches a ride with someone else
Shazam: ...are you telling me Batman piggy back rides into battle?
Green Lantern: [straight faced] It's the only way he rides.
Shazam: Wait, what about Robin? His side kick? He has powers right?
Superman: uh, no not really.
Shazam:
Green Lantern: Only one of the Gothamites have superpowers
Shazam: Wait, you let normal children fight villains?
Superman: WE don't.
Shazam: So you, a league of superheroes, can't stop ONE powerless human from letting kids fight mutant supermonsters?
The League:
Superman: Look, he's very convincing.
Aquaman: Incredibly persuasive
Green Lantern: There was a power point presentation involved
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For the cliche prompt 33 with JayDick please. I love your stories they are always so good❤️❤️❤️

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Thank you ❤️ Hope you like this! 

Dick has heard it all before.

“He’s dangerous, with his skills and his strength.”

So is Dick. Both of them are outclassed by Kori, and somehow no one seemed to be concerned about this when Dick was dating her, soooo.

“He’s got a temper.”

Yeah, Dick’s is far worse. Jason has a few very specific triggers. Outside of them, he’s fine. As Dick has no intention to start molesting or kidnapping children anytime soon (urgh), he’ll be fine.

“His morals are dubious.”

No shit. They knew that going into this relationship, and they figured it out. Clearly delineated territories, open lines of communication regarding the cases they work on, compromise. It works.

“His friends…”

Some of them were Dick’s friends first, he reminds the person speaking. Would they like to continue?

“He’s done some fucked-up shit.”

He really did. So he’s making amends for it now where he sees the necessity—mostly concerning the collateral damage to their family. Dick is proud of him for that. It’s more than he sees Bruce doing.

Besides, Dick has scars of his own.

“He still carries his guns.”

Jason does, and then he locks them away as soon as he’s home. All except the two he carries on him at all times. Dick would never take that safety away from him.

“He’s not stable.”

At which point Dick enquires sweetly if they’re implying that mental illness makes a person unfit for a relationship? Do they really wanna go down that road?

They usually don’t.

These conversations are exhausting and annoying, but Dick doesn’t begrudge his family and friends their worry. It’s just… they got it all wrong. Here are the reasons Dick knows Jason is dangerous:

His kisses are addictive. No matter if it’s a soft ‘good morning’ or a passionate ‘I want you,’ his hand always comes up to cup to Dick’s cheek, cradling him as if he’s the most precious thing in Jason’s world.

His gentle bullying actually works. Dick is sleeping six hours a night and eats at least two meals because Jason takes his laptop away otherwise. It’s pretty amazing what that does for Dick’s brain; he’s not gonna lie.

Speaking off: Jason calls Dick out on his shit and makes him better. Reminds him not to lose all sense of proportion when the world rests on his shoulders yet again.

Jason still blushes when Dick kisses his cheek, holds his hand, slings an arm around his waist in public, but he always leans into it. Private, but never ashamed.

When Dick wakes up at night, Jason is there to hold him, unquestioningly, unconditionally. Dick has regained a sense of safety he thought lost forever.

How Jason trusts him, in turn, to watch over him, locking away those last two guns more and more often when they are together… it’s enough to make Dick feel ten feet tall.

Jason is dangerous because he could destroy Dick if he left.

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AWEE SO CUTE

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Anonymous asked:

the song better place by rachel platten and jay/dick or maybe just some jay-centric bat fam. hope this prompt works for you. love your fics <3

Thank you <3 That’s a very JayDick song, but I love writing batfam, too, so... have both. 

Steph took one look at Jason’s old-new room and pronounced: “You need to redecorate.”

“No shit.”

“Let’s go.”

Which was how Jason found himself in Ikea of all places. She even dragged a flustered-looking Tim with her, who proved to be supremely unhelpful when it came to curtain color (“I don’t think either red or purple will look good with those walls,” bullshit) but very willing to hand over his credit card. It was… fun. The room felt less like a tomb when Steph was done with it, which was great.

He told her that.

“Well, duh.” She grinned. “No one in this house knows how to decorate for shit. You should see what Tim did with his bedroom…”

Jason spent a minute considering his options. “Anime girls?”

“Nope.”

“Superman posters.”

“Nope, but I like the way you’re thinking.”

“Bad Picasso replicas.”

“Nooo,”

“I give up.”

“He did…” Steph paused dramatically. “Nothing.”

“Nothing?”

“Nothing. It still looks like it did in the eighties.”

Jason laughed, and she looked gratified. “Sounds terrible.”

They kept working on the bookshelf. Ikea was great for those; that’s why they went there in the first place. Well, that and the look on Bruce’s face when he saw the boxes.  

After a minute, Jason asked: “So… are you seeing a lot of Tim’s bedroom, then?”

“Yeah. So what?” She glared at him, which he was starting to realize was a sure sign that she was embarrassed.

“So nothing. Didn’t know that was happening again, that’s all.”

It took her a minute, but she softened. “Yeah. I… guess we’re giving it a second chance.”

“That’s cool,” he told her sincerely. “I mean, you could clearly do better, but he damn well knows what he’s got now.”

“Hmm.” Steph was hiding behind the shelf she was holding up, but he could still tell she was pleased. “So how about your own second chance, huh?”

…damn, he’d walked right into that one. “Shut up.”

“Home invasion in sector 6R. Three 1Cs, suspected armed. Neighbors reporting shots, five people in the house. Hood, you’re closest.”

Jason had already changed course. “I’m on it.”

He waited—this was the point where Batman would send a Robin or two after him, maybe even Nightwing or himself, “just as back-up.” There was no way they would let him operate as part of the team without close supervision for at least a year. Jason was determined to grit his teeth and bear it, even if he wasn’t sure for how long he could. He was chafing already, running like this with the others when he’d been on his own for so long.  

However, Bruce only confirmed that he’d heard him, and then the line went silent.

Huh.

There was no better time to be awake in the manor than the early morning in Jason’s opinion. The light fell softly into the kitchen as he entered, barefoot and in his pajamas.

Alfred was there, of course. “Good morning, Jason.”

It was their private ritual; had been even before Jason had moved back into the fold. Six a.m., tea and sandwiches. The only difference was that now, Jason hadn’t vanished by the time Damian stomped into the kitchen, glowering at them for being awake and having the audacity to send him to school.

It was kinda adorable, not that Jason would ever tell him that. Instead, he watched Damian make his way through his own breakfast and nodded toward the packed lunch waiting for him. “I see you’re not taking advantage of the school cafeteria, then?”

“Them?” The amount of scorn Damian managed to pack into a single word would have weighed down a ship or two. “They would not know good food if it chased after them with a sword.”

“Let me guess—still only three spices, and these are salt, pepper, and ketchup?” Jason asked.

“I believe there is a fourth one now—they have a particularly intolerable mixture that they like to label ‘Chinese.’” Damian’s whole face scrunched up with distaste. “It tastes nothing like what Mother used to cook.”

“While I am sorry to hear that,” Alfred inserted, “we will be late if we don’t leave soon.”

Damian grumbled but hopped off his chair. Jason glanced at the clock — seven a.m. Dick would get up soon. Might as well make him a sandwich, too.

He pulled the ingredients closer, already compiling a list of recipes in his head. Talia had shown him how to make most of Damian’s favorites. He could teach those to Alfred, no problem.

“Hood. Stop it right now.” Dick looked at him with big eyes, or so Jason assumed, considering they were both wearing their masks.

“No, continue.” Barbara sounded choked, audibly forcing down laugher.

And, hey. Love was one thing, but Jason knew who gave him the best intel night after night. “So big bird and B decide that they have to infiltrate this organization, right? Only… they’re all swingers…”

Her laughter was brighter than the streetlights.

Jason stepped into the corridor and silently closed the door behind him.

God, but it had taken a long time to get Dick tired and ready to sleep. Jason himself was still feeling too wired to pass out, but then he wasn’t operating on a 40-hour sleep deficit, so it was totally not the same thing.

He decided to wander down to the cave. Bruce was still up, of course, acknowledging Jason’s presence with a grunt. The only other person present was Tim, who was bent over some files.

…like, really bent over them. One could almost think…yup, he’d fallen asleep at the table.

Jason gently poked him. Then he harshly poked him. When nothing happened, he sighed and moved one arm under Tim’s legs, the other gripping his shoulders. The kid would fuck up his back if he stayed like that. It took a bit of effort, but they were soon making their way up the stairs, Tim cradled securely in Jason’s arms.

They’d almost made it upstairs when Tim stirred, blue eyes opening halfway and looking at him.

Heart in his throat, Jason waited. This family had a bad habit of coming awake swinging, and with Jason hovering over them… well, it wouldn’t be entirely unjustified, wouldn’t it? Especially in Tim’s case.

Tim grumbled and went right back to sleep.

Jason pinched his nose. Or tried to, but he was wearing his helmet, so he basically poked himself in the face. Judging from Duke’s expression, that wasn’t helping his point.

“So you decided to buy us time by…”

“Ninja traps,” Cassie finished for him. Looking as if that made total sense.

“Ninja traps.”

“Well, it was more of an obstacle course, really,” Duke added helpfully.

“Okay, that’s a weird-ass move, but I can respect that. Then why did that warehouse explode?”

“Fire.” Cassie’s expression gave nothing away.

Jason looked to Duke. “What she said.”

“And the fire was there because…?”

“Fire is an obstacle.”

Jason groaned. “I cannot believe I’m the responsible person here,” he lamented. “Is this how you feel most of the time, D?”

There was laughter over the com. “Oh, Nightwing has finally acquired a co-parent,” Steph commented, followed by Tim’s: “About time.”

(Everyone ignored Bruce’s “Hey!”.)  

“Jason.”

Bruce was hovering. He probably didn’t intend to it; it just came naturally. Jason still felt that nervous lurch in his stomach whenever Bruce did that, but he was trying to get over it, so he just asked: “Yeah?”

“Let me show you something.”

They went into one of the rooms behind Bruce’s office that Jason had always assumed held nothing but files. He was very wrong.

“After you… left, I found myself reading books and thinking—he would’ve loved that.”

The walls were lined with bookcases. There were special editions of Jane Austen reprints, thick sci-fi novels, and nineteenth-century murder mysteries. It was eclectic and weird and precisely what Jason liked. What they both liked.

“I kept collecting them,” Bruce told him, voice too even. “Just… in case, I suppose.”

Jason stared at the shelves and shelves full of books, all read exactly once. His eyes were stinging because the glass display downstairs—that was bullshit. That uniform was about and for Bruce, and the new Robins, not Jason.

But this?

“Thank you,” he whispered.

Bruce almost-smiled, relief written across his face. “You’re welcome. Uh. I’ll leave you to it.”

Jason let him take two steps, then he said: “Bruce. If there was ever a time for a hug, this is it.”

“Oh. Right.”

Jason let Bruce pull him into an embrace—hugged back just as fiercely and told him: “It’s okay. You can stop grieving now. I’m here.”

If Bruce’s shoulders were shaking, neither of them mentioned it.

It was a total accident. Jason had felt like holding Dick’s hand, so he did. It was only when he looked up and caught Tim’s eye that he remembered—right. They were surrounded by Dick’s family. Their family.

Tim winked. The conversation didn’t stop. No one else commented or even gave them a second glance.

Something in Jason exhaled.

Dick squeezed his hand, smiling at something Damian was saying, and ugh, sometimes Jason was so full of feelings, he didn’t know what to do with it. Dick was just so—so—

Yeah. Jason was so fucking gone for him. All he could think about was how it would feel if there was a ring, there, pressing against his own.

He leaned back, adding a sarcastic comment or two to the conversation just to bask in the sunshine of Dick’s laughter. That thought warranted some serious consideration, not to mention talking to Dick, but—just the idea that he could have that? That he trusted himself, and Dick, and their family, enough to have that?

It was more than enough.

(Three days before Jason moved into the manor, Dick called a family gathering.

“Why is Jason not here, then?” Tim asked, frowning. “If it’s a family matter, it concerns him, too.”

Dick could kiss him for that. Instead he said: “Because it’s about him. I’m gonna lay down some ground rules, okay?”

Jason letting Dick convince him to move back in with them… that was huge. And dangerous. Dick had figured out long ago that Jay and Bruce had no idea how to handle each other anymore. Neither did the rest. That didn’t mean they didn’t want to. Dick was hopeful.

It was just… Jay was the best thing in Dick’s world; his support, his light, his conscience. He just made everything better. And Dick had no intentions of letting their family or anyone else fuck that up.)

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This is too cute.