Every time I see a post about updog I’m torn between not wanting to fall for it and wanting to help the poster complete their joke.

okay but what’s updog ?

Updog is a long sausage in a bun often served with ketchup, mustard, onion e, and/or relish.

No, that’s a hotdog. An updog is when a new version or patch of an application is released

You’re thinking of update. Updog is when you end a sentence with a rising intonation.

No, that’s uptalk.  You’re thinking of the fourth-largest city in Sweden.

surely that’s Uppsala, whereas Updog is the giant spider in Harry Potter.

That’s Aragog. Updog is a symbol conventionally used for an arbitrarily small number in analysis proofs

You’re thinking of epsilon. Updog is an upward-moving air current.

no that’s an updraft

updog isn’t a noun at all, it’s a verb; it basically means to chew someone out, or harshly lecture them

No, that’s upbraid. An updog is a small dog that likes cuddling on people’s laps.

No that’s a puppydog. An updog is when the Mets win.

No that’s an upset. An updog is the modern version of a henway.

What’s a henway?

Oh, about 5 pounds.

thomas the tank engine, aka the only monster no. one wants to fuck

that’s where you’re wrong

you made this blog just now and i feel responsible for the evil it represents

thomas the spank engine

i think humanity in the middle ages was onto something when they allowed only priests to be literate

My man George Homework Bush decided to Nut the last minute of November and ended up crumbling into gray dust once he came

i hate this website i just want to obtain information in a normal ass way again

in general i think new york is very good for my social anxiety because no matter how much of a freak i’m being i know it’s probably not the weirdest thing people have seen today

case in point: i felt bad about bringing my unwieldy luggage onto a crowded train, until the man sitting next to me pulled a live fish out of his backpack

Pro tip from a native: no one is paying attention to you, or what you’re doing, with three exceptions:

1) You are walking slowly

2) You are shitting on the floor of the subway

3) you are mugging us

are you REALLY a tumblr user if you don’t see a post on your dash filled with misinformation presented in a hostile manner like youre the idiot for not knowing these 100% bullshit lies at least once a day and have to physically restrain yourself from starting shit with the OP

peter and wade are fighting side by side and when peter runs out of web fluid, he grabs a gun off wade’s belt and wade has this transcendent moment of i’m going to watch spiderman shoot my gun at a real live bad guy

but peter just fucking throws it at a bad guy’s face and knocks him out cold

The impact causes the gun to go off and shoot wade in the dick. Spider man spends the next several minutes frantically apologizing while cable laughs his ass off for the first time in years.

Pretty sure I’ve read this comic

@wishem please omg just a quick doodle or something even

I am sorry Cable looks like that

Don’t you dare apologize for perfection.

oh yeah my primary social media app is the one that got banned from multiple app stores for having child porn on it. the bone incident? sorry, you’ll have to be more specific, i’m aware of at least three instances of people posting about handling human remains.

world’s saddest story in five words:

oh my god roachie despawned

how the fuck is this even real

it looks like ridely and isabelle are snake and cloud’s fursona’s

If i knew like 5% less about video games and you tried to tell me which of these characters were named Snake and Cloud and which ones were named Ridley and Isabelle i would NOT believe you

I dont see as many people pushing it this year but its important that you know you can sign up for heath insurance under the ACA on healthcare.gov! Today is the first day of open enrollment and lasts until december 15th!

me talking to my lesbian and bi women friends: i don’t believe that “attraction” is a well-defined concept and i generally lean social constructivist when it comes to sexual orientation—what i identify as my lesbianism arises in a certain social context and i don’t necessarily think it’s some kind of mystical and essential part of me. i think it’s ok to define your orientation that way if you want but i also think that, especially for women, many people find it more healing to define it sort of actively. you’re not beholden to an immutable Nature that you can’t challenge; you can define what you want and seek. as such there’s more of a gray space between lesbianism and bisexuality than many people would tell you, and sometimes choosing one label over the other is a matter of gut feeling and not the cold scientific distinction people may picture. of course it doesn’t make sense to call yourself a lesbian if you’re pursuing men, but in dealing with misogyny and compulsory heterosexuality a woman may make the choice of whether or not to include some kind of “potential” attraction to men in her orientation. basically, if you want to be a lesbian, you can be a lesbian, and if you want to be a bisexual woman, you can be a bisexual woman. sexuality should be something you actively participate in and that makes you feel happy and comfortable with yourself, not something preexisting that you just can’t escape from and are forced to accept.

me talking to men or straight people or people whose politics i don’t know and trust: i was born this way.

something that no one asked for but I still think it’s necessary: my favorite letterboxd lists

Scuse you, I think we all asked for this.

women be crawling frantically on all fours around the perimeter of their room peeling off the wallpaper

Wish i was drunk at a party explaining mgs to someone

no go on