Huge apologies for not including Lizzie, tumblr image limit is bullshit. She was “here’s what I think they should do. They should get everyone in Egypt, and everyone brings their own rope, and they tie all the ropes along the side of the boat, and everyone pulls it as hard as they can. If we get all the people in Egypt, that weight can turn it and they can steer the boat”. Also thanks to @whencartoonsruletheworld for the idea.
Lemony Snicket: I was actually quite athletic when I was younger.
Lemony: I was almost fast enough to outrun my crippling depression.
Listening to my playlist and I don't think I've ever heard a song sum up VFD more than "Bad Decisions" by 'Bastille'.
sometimes i just think about the beginning of the fic Failed Plots and think ahh this truly is such a good fic top tier characterizations, i love them. “if you give your chaperone trouble while trying to go behind her back, it just means you aren’t very subtle.”
Moxie: Why is it so hard for you to just admit that you're wrong?
Lemony: I have deeply rooted issues that began when I started my special education and was classified as "gifted". In consequence, I have unreasonable expectations for myself and others, strive for nothing less than perfection, and my every waking moment is filled with the crippling fear of failure.
Moxie: ...
Moxie: Jesus Christ.
Concept:
Vfd taught its members how to shoot poison darts by making them fight with paintball guns. Last person both standing and free of paint got the best grade. It was one of the few classes that Lemony was absolutely horrible at.
i need a tv show of just pre-schism kids!vfd
Oh yes. I like this a lot.
Concept:
Vfd taught its members how to shoot poison darts by making them fight with paintball guns. Last person both standing and free of paint got the best grade. It was one of the few classes that Lemony was absolutely horrible at.
I find it so funny that Lemony Snicket can and will use his "Special Education" as an excuse for literally everything, even if I exaggerated it a bit below.
"Lemony, I can't believe you have a tattoo!"
"I'm in a special program."
"Why do you have the map to a city's sewer system?
"I'm in a special program. "
"You know how to shoot a poison dart gun?"
"I'm in a special program."
"Why are you so depressed?"
"I'm in a special program."
Considering the fact that he is a stressed and depressed morally grey character who also sucks at keeping friends, goes off on rants about meaningless details in conversations, and is literally the living embodiment of Gifted Child Trauma™, I find Lemony Snicket surprisingly relatable. This does not bode well with me.
I feel like Lemony Snicket playing "Two Truths and a Lie" with his ATWQ associates would be absolutely hilarious.
Lemony: My sister is a criminal, I own the map to a city's sewer system, and I hate root beer.
His associates: ...
Hey guys!!! I made a thing I'm very proud of:
Does anybody else feel like the Snicket siblings would get wildly competitive during game nights?
They probably didn't get to play family games during most of their childhood, but imagine them discovering what they missed out on as teens.
Jacques becoming obsessed with chess.
Kit getting aggressively competitive while playing UNO.
Lemony treating a game of Scrabble like it's a life-and-death matter.
SOMEONE PLEASE WRITE A FIC WHERE THEY'RE ALL HAPPY AND THEY'RE BIGGEST PROBLEM IS TRYING TO BEAT EACH OTHER AT MONOPOLY.
The Snickets getting recruited like-
The Snicket siblings: Sitting at the kitchen table, sipping my tea...
*Ominous noise from outside*
The Snicket siblings: Sipping faster.
How that One Scene™ from the first ATWQ book could have gone-
Moxie: Do you know how to pick a lock?
Lemony: No; I got a grade of incomplete.
Moxie, curious: Oh. Did you fail anything else?
Lemony: ...
Lemony: The course I took on common sense.
Kit, talking about her little brother...
Kit: is he an absolute genius??? Yes.
Kit: Is he the dumbest person alive??? Also yes.