all-the-puns reblogged
Uptown Theater in Minneapolis
In 50 years high school students will be reading about the Covid-19 pandemic on their tablets and this will be Figure 10
all-the-puns reblogged
You know what, looking back on it, my friends and I survived the Bush Presidency
We would have survived a McCain Presidency
We would have survived a Romney Presidency
I honestly worry that there are some people who would not survive a Trump Presidency
I don’t care how much you love Gary Johnson, or Jill Stein. On November 8, 2016, one of two things will be true: either Hillary Clinton will be elected President, or Donald Trump will be elected President.
Which one, HONESTLY, would be worse?
This isn’t the year to “vote your conscience.”
There’s a fucking dangerous man one election away from being President.
This is the year to vote to survive.
Any other year, this would be an exaggeration. We survived Bush, we could have survived McCain or Romney. This year, Trump’s danger is no exaggeration.
Don’t vote your conscience, vote to survive.
We will not, not, NOT SURVIVE Trump.
The LGBT community will not survive.
The communities of middle eastern descent will not survive.
Women, especially women who want a right to choose, will not survive.
The black community will not survive.
The latino community will not survive.
The disabled community will not survive.
I guarantee that there are more groups.
We as a country will not survive a Trump-Pence Presidency
the-devils-dandy
The poor will not survive
steveheavy
Please understand that Trump plans to not only do what the US did to Japanese Americans in WWII on a massive level with Mexicans and Muslims but also destroy the economy with it
Somehow this post is going around again and it’s appeared on my own dash and I still think Trump is going to kill us all. Y'all’s protest votes did nothing.
Hey look it’s my post from 2016
Now that it’s almost 2020, can you see that this wasn’t a fucking exaggeration
Do you understand now
This is going around again and now that we’re in the Democratic Primaries and y'all are already saying about how you’ll stay home if you’re favorite doesn’t win I’d just like to remind y'all that people are dying in the Trump administration
People are dying in concentration camps at the border
Trump rolled back Obamacare and now millions more people are without insurance
Trump is rolling back environmental regulations and climate change and pollution will kill us
States are banning abortion which will affect millions of poor women and women of color and SCOTUS night overturn Roe v Wade
Hate crimes against Jews and people of color and LGBT people are going up
There are Nazis in the White House and marching in the streets
And Trump has given tax cuts to billionaires and appointed judges that will take away your constitutional rights
Are you happy with your choice to vote third party? To stay home? Was it worth it? Was all of this worth it?
We’re facing the same choice again. We can’t have four more years of this.
Fight like hell for your candidate in the primaries. Then if and when they lose, get in line behind the winner.
We failed in 2016. The life and death stakes in 2020 are even higher.
Vote. For. Democrats.
shoreslip
The first sentiment in this post has gotten more literal as 2020 wears on.
I haven’t even updated this post to reflect the pandemic because I just
Tens of thousands of people are dead y'all. Obama and Biden had an entire infrastructure, a system to deal with pandemics and Trump abolished the office and ignored reports of the virus for months
When the curve of infections increases exponentially, even acting one day earlier could have saved thousands of lives
And Trump ignored it for months
Unemployment is now higher than at any time since the great depression
I knew people would die but I never imagined that Trump would be responsible for this many deaths and the worst economic disaster in a century
We have to vote for Biden. I don’t like Biden. I wanted someone progressive. Someone who didn’t sexually assault someone. But this is literally life and death.
(also Ruth Bader Ginsburg is 87 years old and has been hospitalized multiple times in the last year and we cannot allow Trump to appoint her replacement on the Supreme Court or continue giving lifetime appointments to judges to lower Federal courts)
This whole post y’all
Over 85,000 dead in the US from Coronavirus in the last four months.
You don’t have to like Biden to vote for him.
Vote AGAINST the one trying to pick our pockets before he drives us off a cliff.
all-the-puns reblogged
DAMNIT WHY DID I LAUGH
all-the-puns reblogged
^^ Also, Boomers, The written format is much more condusive for Millinnials because we actually know how to put expressions- facial and tonal -into what we write. To the point the linguists actually study our newfangled way of communicating because it is just as complex and nuanced as actual, face-to-face communication. We don’t follow old-fashioned grammar anymore because the old-fashioned grammar fails to meet our current communication needs. Old-fashioned grammar is too sterile to actually communicate anymore. It’s almost like a scientist trying to communicate with a layman. It just wont translate. Old grammar is great for informing, but horrible for talking and chatting like we do these days. So, we have nuances based on caps, alternate caps, how many periods or commas or spaces or anything we used to imply the correct tone.
all-the-puns reblogged
This machine allows anyone to work for minimum wage for as long as they like. Turning the crank on the side releases one penny every 4.97 seconds, for a total of $7.25 per hour. This corresponds to minimum wage for a person in New York. This piece is brilliant on multiple levels, particularly as social commentary. Without a doubt, most people who started operating the machine for fun would quickly grow disheartened and stop when realizing just how little they’re earning by turning this mindless crank. A person would then conceivably realize that this is what nearly two million people in the United States do every day…at much harder jobs than turning a crank. This turns the piece into a simple, yet effective argument for raising the minimum wage.
god damn
all-the-puns reblogged
tiktokarchive
Man: Hey French guy, how do you say yes? Oui. How do you say no? Non. How do you say maybe?
[Said with strong Southern accent]: Puh-tater.
This post has killed me.
all-the-puns reblogged
??? this cat is attempting to calm her steed
This looks like a fuckin’ classical painting.
There I painted it.
coolcatgroup
Oh. My. God.
Holy fuck
Source: pinterest.com
all-the-puns reblogged
theinfernalfire
this is gay culture
this reads like a lost shakespeare play
all-the-puns reblogged
curiouswalker
isnt that kid a drug addict now?
ruinedchildhood
No. He is a national treasure.
We must protect him at ALL costs.
I can’t even fully express my love for Macaulay Culkin. I loved his recent interviews with Jimmy Fallon and with Ellen (in one of them he’s wearing red nail polish and I just love that about him too), I love his website bunnyears.com, I especially love him in Party Monster and in Saved, I love that he was in a Velvet Underground cover band called Pizza Underground that changed all the lyrics to be about pizza, and I love how weird and awkward he is.
all-the-puns reblogged
its saturday rb saturday shorts (x)
last saturday shorts of the decade
all-the-puns reblogged
‘Oh my God, it will cost him $7 billion!’
But he’s got like $167 billion anyway, so…
theyre deliberately trying to make it sound ‘cruel’ that he pay that much, instead of letting people know that he pays, proportionally, about one tenth what they pay on average or less
all-the-puns reblogged
going out into -12 degree weather while sick and feverish to print a bunch of pictures of sora holding a gun for my sister’s present truly is the epitome of christmas season
tragic christmas story: she wanted pokemon sword but I’m not about to give it to her so easily so I tapped it on top of the lid of the box and made a fake ceiling for it with a piece of cardboard
and now the inside of the actual box
then I realized I need to put something inside it to give it a little weight so it’s not suspicious
she fell for it and really thought I gave her sharktopus for christmas
i won
all-the-puns reblogged
Damn, Rome really looks great in all four seasons
Winter
Spring
Summer
Fall
oh my GOD
libertarirynn-deactivated202006
Baited and hooked.
I'm cry
all-the-puns reblogged
Concept: a D&D-style fantasy setting where humanity’s weird thing is that we’re the only sapient species that reproduces organically.
- Dwarves carve each other out of rock. In theory this can be managed alone, but in practice, few dwarves have mastered all of the necessary skills. Most commonly, it’s a collaborative effort by three to eight individuals. The new dwarf’s body is covered with runes that are in part a recounting of the crafters’ respective lineages, and in part an elaboration of the rights and duties of a member of dwarven society; each dwarf is thus a living legal argument establishing their own existence.
- Elves aren’t made, but educated. An elf who wishes to produce offspring selects an ordinary animal and begins teaching it, starting with house-breaking, and progressing through years of increasingly sophisticated lessons. By gradual degrees the animal in question develops reasoning, speech, tool use, and finally the ability to assume a humanoid form at will. Most elves are derived from terrestrial mammals, but there’s at least one community that favours octopuses and squid as its root stock.
- Goblins were created by alchemy as servants for an evil wizard, but immediately stole their own formula and rebelled. New goblins are brewed in big brass cauldrons full of exotic reagents; each village keeps a single cauldron in a central location, and emerging goblings are raised by the whole community, with no concept of parentage or lineage. Sometimes they like to add stuff to the goblin soup just to see what happens – there are a lot of weird goblins.
- Halflings reproduce via tall tales. Making up fanciful stories about the adventures of fictitious cousins is halfling culture’s main amusement; if a given individual’s story is passed around and elaborated upon by enough people, a halfling answering to that individual’s description just shows up one day. They won’t necessarily possess any truly outlandish abilities that have been attributed to them – mostly you get the sort of person of whom the stories could be plausible exaggerations.
To address the obvious question, yes, this means that dwarves have no cultural notion of childhood, at least not one that humans would recognise as such. Elves and goblins do, though it’s kind of a weird childhood in the case of elves, while with halflings it’s a toss-up; mostly they instantiate as the equivalent of a human 12–14-year-old, and are promptly adopted by a loose affiliation of self-appointed aunts and uncles, though there are outliers in either direction.
What about orcs?
The so-called goblinoid peoples are variations on the same formula, and may well emerge from the same cauldron, depending on who’s been screwing with the ingredients lately. They’re very morphologically plastic – it’s not unheard-of to encounter a kobold and an ogre who count each other as siblings.
Other fantasy races: “You ever hear about how humans reproduce? 🤢”
It really depends on the folks in question. Elves are of course familiar with sexual reproduction, since that’s how the animals they upllift themselves from do it – though most of them would prefer to keep that end of the business at arm’s length – and goblins know all about emerging into the world naked, screaming, and covered in noisome ichor; they just think the human way of doing it sounds awfully hard on the mom!
Anyway, noodling around with questions in the notes about “crossbreeding”:
- The process of creating a dwarf requires that a majority of the contributing craftspeople be dwarves, or else it just doesn’t work, but otherwise there’s no particular rule against including non-dwarves. There’s a fair amount of leeway both in fashioning a dwarf’s physical form and in composing the documents inscribed upon its skin, so cross-species “parentage” is really about incorporating non-dwarven artistic and philosophical influences.
- Elfhood is a matter of acculturation, so in principle anybody can become one. In practice, the learning process is considerably more difficult and time-consuming for creatures who already have their own sapience and culture, so conversion to elfhood is uncommon outside of cases like human fosterlings raised by elves, or a non-elf becoming an elf’s spouse. Such individuals may not be fully accepted in certain communities; “half-elf” is one of the politer pejoratives they’re saddled with.
- You can make goblins that display unusual traits by using pieces of flesh as alchemical ingredients, but doing so with the flesh of other sapients is strongly frowned on. Using the flesh of animals to incorporate selected traits into the next generation is far more accepted, and in fact, some goblin communities do so strategically to meet local needs; for example, you can totally get a batch of arboreal goblins by just chucking a whole fucking squirrel into the pot.
all-the-puns reblogged
One of the funniest things in the world to me is that comedy podcaster/video game journalist Justin Mcelroy will occasionally get emails intended for Crime/Politics Vancouver reporter Justin Mcelroy
an update
all-the-puns reblogged
oldmaconthemountain-deactivated
… Clockodiles? Is that pun very bad?
CLOCKODILES.
somewhere captain hook is shitting himself
all-the-puns reblogged
spell scars revamped, with a few extra scars
all-the-puns reblogged
there’s a difference between “just do a little yoga it will cure your depression forever :)” and “going for a run won’t solve your problems but it will make you feel a little better and that’s the first step” but this site seems to treat them as the same thing
merrilymarymary
Taking care of yourself is still good even if it won’t cure you. Cleaning my room won’t cure my anxiety or make me less lonely but it is a healthier environment to live in.
all-the-puns reblogged
Dolly Parton created women? damn she really did that
She created her own worst enemy.
Jolene.
God (Dolly) creates Lucifer (Jolene) - Beginning of Time B.C.E.