Alkthash

Tumblr already has a personalization algorithm it's called my beloved mutuals who have great taste and only wish to psychologically damage me sometimes

People thinking that Spiderman died after a huge fight so some heroes go to Peter Parker’s place to interrogate him on anything he knows since he’s practically Spidey’s shadow

But when they get there, they find out that Peter is extremely injured (“must’ve been one of the civilians that got injured in the crossfire, poor soul”), so instead they have to question MJ on if she knows anything since she’s the one there making sure Peter’s okay

And she is so excited to have a chance to act her ass off, she’s got the waterworks on (“he’s dead? oh my god, no!”), the shaky voice, the innocent look (“I’m so sorry but I was so concerned with getting Peter home that I didn’t see anything”), she’s fooling everyone and enjoying the hell out of it while Peter just keeps wishing the pain meds will kick in

this is what happens when you name your pokemon before you know what it evolves into.

she still baby tho…

Pokemon Heritage Post

European: Americans will be like I’m going to watch a whore movie and eat a hamburger slathered in lard

Americans: it’s true I do do this.

American: British people will be like alright I’m off to eat some wheezy bangers (beans and bread out of a can)

Brit: I’ve seen this reblogged by several people I normally trust so: How mocking British cuisine and dialect has a long classist history and how it became frighteningly normalized on an American (uniquely cruel, uniquely ignorant) internet: a thread. 1/?

Unfortunately it's more like

European: My country is very large!

American: Actually my state is larger than your entire country.

Brit: [The most unhinged comment about American school shootings you've ever heard]

It's also like:

British: Actually mocking certain accents has classist undertones

American: Ok! We have much of the same thing with Southern and Appalachian accents.

Brit: (proceeds to do the worst Appalachian accent you've ever heard riddled with incorrect AAVE)

American:

The Black Earth. (photoshop)

There are many stories about Dhio, nearly every one of them is false.

Got his ass together in three words

i have a brain problem that prevents me from understanding people who need so much specifically newly-released TV shows that they're upset by the prospect of going a few months without new ones being produced

like they could stop making video games and books today and I wouldn't notice until sometime in 2026. honestly if they'd stop making new video games for a while that'd be kinda convenient. everyone take a break and let me catch up. I still haven't even played Persona 5.

find me in 2029 going "you guys heard about this red plumber dude? little bastard just loves to jump lol. anyway it sounds weird, I know, but I'm kinda getting into it"

Genuinely and unironically my philosophy abt music has expanded to “stop writing off music because it’s from a specific genre” and I think that could be applied to most mediums actually

Is country music really all bad or are you only catching snippets of christonationalist propaganda on the radio? Are horror movies always shallow torture porn or are you just thinking of trailers you saw for slasher movies? Are fantasy novels only for kids or was the last one you picked up Harry Potter? Is anime always fan service or are you just running into ecchi clips online over and over and over? Are you looking for good media or are you finding bad media and considering it representative?

Pickles adventure

13 Jul 23

yes that's how bourgeois media tries to trick workers into being against strikes. Any delays are solely due to United Parcels Service incorporated not properly paying their workers.

By not negotiating, the company - hand-in-hand with the bourgeois media trying to make that the sob story - are actually holding medical equipment for ransom.

If you're concerned about medical equipment maybe UPS should stop forcing its preload to go faster than it is safe, leaving open packages all over the place because they say that slows us down, loading tractor trailers not only to the ceiling but to the point where you can't even open them because they're that packed in. UPS is causing this shit, not Teamsters, not the employees.

UPS has never respected things like medical equipment and your packages. They don't care, it's all the bottom line.

This is what the company thinks of everyone’s packages, these are all from average days. This is what the Teamsters want to prevent by making kig conditions materially better for us.

I was quite literally told to stop repairing and taping open boxes by a manager because when you stop unloading a trailer for even ten seconds it “hurts production”.

I’m a package loader.

I have to step over piles and piles of packages to get inside a trailer that’s completely swamped with them. Yes, I am crushing your packages because my supervisor told me to.

I’m expected to lift 100+ pound packages at least 5 feet high into a trailer by myself. I’m 5′4.

I watched my supervisor stack a ULD in a way that was gonna make it hard for the next person. When I asked her about it, she said “That’s the point.”

I have to climb over and onto thin metal bars and walk on moving belts to unjam chutes because they’re so heavily backed up with packages. Those jammed packages also get massively crushed by the sheer weight of packages coming down. Sorry, your Amazon box got crushed, there was a 75 pound package that the unload team sent to me instead of setting it aside as an irregular like they’re supposed to because they’re being yelled at to unload faster.

I have had over 32 bruises from various packages beating me on one leg.

When my shift (Twilight) is understaffed, instead of asking people on day sort if they want to double (which I’ve heard they want to), the supervisors just do the work instead which they’re not even supposed to under our contract.

I had a supervisor accuse me of not wanting to work because I suddenly took a week off. I took that week off because I was so stressed out and suicidal that I couldn’t drive. He also tried to get me to quit in the same conversation.

I once accidentally broke something in a package and a supervisor told me to tape it up and send it anyways. It was an acrylic shelf display and it was extremely sharp.

This job is fucking cruel. And currently I am flat broke and have spent many weeks having to cut back on the amount of food I eat because I can’t afford anymore.

We do transport a lot of medical supplies, resources, test samples, etc and those people who work those jobs, who move all of those priceless items are paid the exact fucking same barely livable wage, and I would know because I’m one of them.

I’ve never been more disrespected at a job than I have here. Walmart treated me better than this.

UPS workers deserve so much more for the shit we have to go through.

Actually, I'm not done. I have my own pictures.

This is what UPS thinks of your packages.

One of the most important things I have learned today..

witch jail7

book recommendation

7-11 CLERK: lovely day outside, isn't it ME: uhhh ME INTERNALLY: shit. I didn't notice. How do I continue this conversation MY INNER MONOLOGUE: Service workers love it when you tell them the things mortal men were not meant to know, when you speak to them of principalities and powers upon the earth ME: In the sun a wheel, in the wheel another wheel. Do you see? 7-11 CLERK: Yes, I see! ME: For each turn of the outer wheel, one thousandth a turn of the inner wheel. And within the inner wheel a point of perfect darkness 7-11 CLERK: Right, growing, devouring. The death of all light ME: Wanes the light - right - wanes the light and waxes the solar eye. Wanes the day of flesh and blood and waxes the night of crawling beasts. Chewing and swallowing. The name of the night to come is khoshek ha-gibbor 7-11 CLERK: Is that hot dog a quarter pound big bite or a spicy bite. They're priced different ME: Which one is cheaper

Clicked on an article from the anthropology subreddit about loneliness and was immediately blasted into oblivion by this opening paragraph

those snakes are not fighting they are fucking. im very sorry

while two snakes FUCK to the death

That dog looking at the snakes like why you gotta do that while I’m eating

Metal as snakes fucking.

Due to some stuff brought up in recent posts I believe it is time to once again extol the virtues of Ms-Demeanor's Patented Where Did I Put That Fucking Paper Organizational Binder.

Hello! I am a disorganized adult! This is the system by which I manage my important shit like pink slips for my car and medical records and tax information.

You're going to need:

So the way this system works is you put the sheet protectors into the binder. You can either use the dividers to divide the binder into sections or you can label some of the sheet protectors to make different sections but what you are generally going to do is make sections of the binder labeled things like "taxes" or "vet" or "doctor" and put a few sheet protectors in each section.

Then all of your papers with important information get crammed in that folder. You don't organize them, you don't sort them by date, you don't alphabetize. You put things vaguely relating to taxes into the sheet protectors in the taxes section. You put things relating to cars in the cars section. You don't even attempt to make this readable - you're not using sheet protectors so that you can read each page and keep it legible, you're using sheet protectors because it's a cheap plastic bag that will sit nicely in a binder.

You CAN put stuff into the individual sheet protectors when you get it, but let's be realistic you probably WON'T do that, so just tuck individual papers into the front of the binder until you get to a critical mass of paperwork then take an hour to sit down and sort into categories and put it in the binder once every six months to three years (depending on how frequently you get paperwork). Sometimes these sections will outgrow their original allotted space - since my spouse had a transplant surgery the medical section has had to become its own folder - and that's okay. If you end up with multiple folders just keep them together (this is why the backpack is an option, and one I strongly recommend).

Because yeah, if my organization system relies on opening up a drawer and putting something where it belongs as soon as I get the paper, I will simply not be organized. It's not going to happen. But I can handle a messy stack of paper that sits in one place and grows until it is time to shove it into a binder. I can't organize things for thirty seconds a day every day but I can organize things for an hour once every year or so (maybe two hours every five years when I sort out stuff I don't need like copies of warranties for parts on a car I don't own anymore).

When my mom died she had about fifty pounds of paper files in her office that were neatly organized in a system that didn't make any sense to my dad, my sister, and I. I ended up sorting through those files for twenty hours, tossing out copies of paid invoices from ten years ago and student handbooks from my junior high school. I reduced one filing cabinet, two desk file drawers, and a foot-high stack to a six inch binder that I gave to my dad. My mom died five years ago; two months ago my dad asked me about a medical document and I was able to tell him to go look for it in the medical section of the binder. It was there, because ALL IMPORTANT SHIT GOES IN THE BINDER.

Where is my birth certificate? In the binder. Where is my tax return from 2017? In the binder. Where is the record of my dog's last rabies shot? In the binder. Where are the records for my life insurance? In the binder.

A lot of what people consider "being organized" breaks down to whether or not you can find the specific things that you're looking for. Does my binder look nice? Is it aesthetic? Does it have color-coded tabs and papers all laid out neatly? Absolutely fucking not. But if you ask me where to find a paper I know that I can do so within about five minutes of shuffling through the pile of letter-folded sheets that I pulled out of the appropriate section of the binder.

I've discussed the Where Did I Put that Fucking Paper Binder before, but now it is time to expand that concept to the Backpack of Important Shit.

You likely have Important Shit that does not fit in a binder. Some of my Important Shit that does not fit in a binder is stuff like jewelry and the spare key for my car. Other stuff - the reason I decided to bring this up at all - includes my backup hard drive and packaging (including product key codes) for pretty much all of the software that I own. This is also where I store printed out copies of the recovery codes for most of the online accounts that I have.

There's a lot of weird fiddly shit that we have to have that we might not access all that often. This is the kind of stuff that might end up in junk drawers or under sinks or in disused laptop bags or kicking around under a bunch of papers in a desk drawer.

It doesn't matter so much when that weird fiddly shit is a set of hex keys or a utility knife or a protractor or a copy of a student handbook but it DOES matter when it's something that you might need to put your hands on in a hurry. If your computer crashes, you're not going to want to track down the software in the back of a filing cabinet and the backup drive from somewhere in the bowels of your desk. If you lock your keys in your car you are not going to want to figure out if your spare is in a junk drawer or the old purse where you keep semi-important stuff or the tin on your desk that has buttons and pins and headphone covers. Just put it in the Backpack of Important Shit and when you need it you know where to look.

So anyway, if you are a person who is a minor disaster who has trouble finding important things when you need them please don't think that you have to get your life together and have a nice organized filing cabinet or clear plastic bins full of documents or a neatly divided storage closet where everything from board games to backup drives has its own neatly labeled place. Just assign ONE LOCATION for important shit and start putting the important shit there. It doesn't matter if you have a filing cabinet where you keep old copies of homework and printouts of online orders and family history records - you do not need to keep everything that is file-able in one place and depending on what level of catastrophe you are it might be detrimental to you if you try to do that. It doesn't matter if you have a jewelry box where you keep your collection of gauges and wrist cuffs; if you are going to stress out about where grandma's ring is when you're digging through your collection of cheap earrings and silver pendants then *do not keep grandma's ring or any other Important, Vital, Cannot Be Lost jewelry in with your day-to-day wear*.

I live someplace that has fires. My binder got upgraded to my Backpack of Important Shit when the fires were getting uncomfortably close to the house I was living in and I wanted to have one bag to grab if we had to get out fast. Once I did that, I never took the binder out of the backpack and the backpack has now made three moves with me and has meant that I've had my birth certificate handy when I needed it in the middle of a move between two states, I was able to provide a history of my cholesterol panel going back six years to a visiting nurse, and I was able to give the exact names and contact info of my spouse's previous surgeon to the hospital when I had unexpectedly moved to a new state with three bags and my work computer at the beginning of the pandemic.

Get yourself a backpack of important shit and a folder of where the fuck did i put that paper. It is so much easier to search a backpack for important shit than to go through an entire house and it is so much easier to flip through a binder than it is to dig through a filing cabinet.

Anyway good luck and happy adulting.

Due to some stuff brought up in recent posts I believe it is time to once again extol the virtues of Ms-Demeanor's Patented Where Did I Put That Fucking Paper Organizational Binder.

Hello! I am a disorganized adult! This is the system by which I manage my important shit like pink slips for my car and medical records and tax information.

You're going to need:

So the way this system works is you put the sheet protectors into the binder. You can either use the dividers to divide the binder into sections or you can label some of the sheet protectors to make different sections but what you are generally going to do is make sections of the binder labeled things like "taxes" or "vet" or "doctor" and put a few sheet protectors in each section.

Then all of your papers with important information get crammed in that folder. You don't organize them, you don't sort them by date, you don't alphabetize. You put things vaguely relating to taxes into the sheet protectors in the taxes section. You put things relating to cars in the cars section. You don't even attempt to make this readable - you're not using sheet protectors so that you can read each page and keep it legible, you're using sheet protectors because it's a cheap plastic bag that will sit nicely in a binder.

You CAN put stuff into the individual sheet protectors when you get it, but let's be realistic you probably WON'T do that, so just tuck individual papers into the front of the binder until you get to a critical mass of paperwork then take an hour to sit down and sort into categories and put it in the binder once every six months to three years (depending on how frequently you get paperwork). Sometimes these sections will outgrow their original allotted space - since my spouse had a transplant surgery the medical section has had to become its own folder - and that's okay. If you end up with multiple folders just keep them together (this is why the backpack is an option, and one I strongly recommend).

Because yeah, if my organization system relies on opening up a drawer and putting something where it belongs as soon as I get the paper, I will simply not be organized. It's not going to happen. But I can handle a messy stack of paper that sits in one place and grows until it is time to shove it into a binder. I can't organize things for thirty seconds a day every day but I can organize things for an hour once every year or so (maybe two hours every five years when I sort out stuff I don't need like copies of warranties for parts on a car I don't own anymore).

When my mom died she had about fifty pounds of paper files in her office that were neatly organized in a system that didn't make any sense to my dad, my sister, and I. I ended up sorting through those files for twenty hours, tossing out copies of paid invoices from ten years ago and student handbooks from my junior high school. I reduced one filing cabinet, two desk file drawers, and a foot-high stack to a six inch binder that I gave to my dad. My mom died five years ago; two months ago my dad asked me about a medical document and I was able to tell him to go look for it in the medical section of the binder. It was there, because ALL IMPORTANT SHIT GOES IN THE BINDER.

Where is my birth certificate? In the binder. Where is my tax return from 2017? In the binder. Where is the record of my dog's last rabies shot? In the binder. Where are the records for my life insurance? In the binder.

A lot of what people consider "being organized" breaks down to whether or not you can find the specific things that you're looking for. Does my binder look nice? Is it aesthetic? Does it have color-coded tabs and papers all laid out neatly? Absolutely fucking not. But if you ask me where to find a paper I know that I can do so within about five minutes of shuffling through the pile of letter-folded sheets that I pulled out of the appropriate section of the binder.

I've discussed the Where Did I Put that Fucking Paper Binder before, but now it is time to expand that concept to the Backpack of Important Shit.

You likely have Important Shit that does not fit in a binder. Some of my Important Shit that does not fit in a binder is stuff like jewelry and the spare key for my car. Other stuff - the reason I decided to bring this up at all - includes my backup hard drive and packaging (including product key codes) for pretty much all of the software that I own. This is also where I store printed out copies of the recovery codes for most of the online accounts that I have.

There's a lot of weird fiddly shit that we have to have that we might not access all that often. This is the kind of stuff that might end up in junk drawers or under sinks or in disused laptop bags or kicking around under a bunch of papers in a desk drawer.

It doesn't matter so much when that weird fiddly shit is a set of hex keys or a utility knife or a protractor or a copy of a student handbook but it DOES matter when it's something that you might need to put your hands on in a hurry. If your computer crashes, you're not going to want to track down the software in the back of a filing cabinet and the backup drive from somewhere in the bowels of your desk. If you lock your keys in your car you are not going to want to figure out if your spare is in a junk drawer or the old purse where you keep semi-important stuff or the tin on your desk that has buttons and pins and headphone covers. Just put it in the Backpack of Important Shit and when you need it you know where to look.

So anyway, if you are a person who is a minor disaster who has trouble finding important things when you need them please don't think that you have to get your life together and have a nice organized filing cabinet or clear plastic bins full of documents or a neatly divided storage closet where everything from board games to backup drives has its own neatly labeled place. Just assign ONE LOCATION for important shit and start putting the important shit there. It doesn't matter if you have a filing cabinet where you keep old copies of homework and printouts of online orders and family history records - you do not need to keep everything that is file-able in one place and depending on what level of catastrophe you are it might be detrimental to you if you try to do that. It doesn't matter if you have a jewelry box where you keep your collection of gauges and wrist cuffs; if you are going to stress out about where grandma's ring is when you're digging through your collection of cheap earrings and silver pendants then *do not keep grandma's ring or any other Important, Vital, Cannot Be Lost jewelry in with your day-to-day wear*.

I live someplace that has fires. My binder got upgraded to my Backpack of Important Shit when the fires were getting uncomfortably close to the house I was living in and I wanted to have one bag to grab if we had to get out fast. Once I did that, I never took the binder out of the backpack and the backpack has now made three moves with me and has meant that I've had my birth certificate handy when I needed it in the middle of a move between two states, I was able to provide a history of my cholesterol panel going back six years to a visiting nurse, and I was able to give the exact names and contact info of my spouse's previous surgeon to the hospital when I had unexpectedly moved to a new state with three bags and my work computer at the beginning of the pandemic.

Get yourself a backpack of important shit and a folder of where the fuck did i put that paper. It is so much easier to search a backpack for important shit than to go through an entire house and it is so much easier to flip through a binder than it is to dig through a filing cabinet.

Anyway good luck and happy adulting.

Criteria for determining what is important shit:

Keeping paperwork is not a matter of sparking joy, it is a matter of covering ass. If you had to move to a new state on the other side of the country and establish yourself there for everything from getting an ID to requesting a pet license to applying for a loan or opening a bank account to proving your income history to a landlord, would you have the documents you needed to get it done? If you have those documents, they go in the folder.

when a british actor does an american accent everyone’s like “i didn’t even know they were british until they were on colbert.” but when americans do a british accent everyone’s like “they’re supposed to be from east cocksford but their glottal e’s are north dicksford. shameful.”

Saw an interesting interview with Hugh Laurie talking about this (on playing House and 'getting away with' doing an American accent):

".... because they're much less interested...they don't have that 'Professor Higgins' ear for.... class and background and geography and the way the British are much more attuned to wait a second where are you from and what trick are you trying to pull on me by... with that particular choice of words. I think partly again because it's such a big country nobody really.... it doesn't bother people so much where you're from or why you sound the way you sound. America's a country that's too big to know itself. Someone living in Florida's got no idea how people behave or what they eat or how they dress in Oregon, it's just so far away - whereas we know, of course, we know absolutely everything about... every British drama we watch, we're like, well that's High Wycombe, that could never happen because it's a one way system there! whereas America's so mythically grand, it's too big to know itself, and that actually has an affect with things like accent. "