I caught my son chewing electrical cords
So I had to ground him. He’s doing better currently, and now conducting himself properly.
McGonagall: Why are you breeding "Pygmy Puffs" at a school?!
Fred: We weren't breeding them on purpose, Professor...
George: They're just very sexual creatures and we didn't want to slut-shame them!
Anonymous asked:
For someone who has still not gotten over the torture that is reading The Marriage Stone and is now sad it likely won’t finish, do you have any similar fic recs? Similar in the way that there’s tension and slow burn and just general awesomeness?
I have never read the Marriage Stone and won’t because I don’t read unfinished fics, so I don’t really know the feel of it but here are some of my favorite slow burns:
Love, Lies and Loneliness - Been a while since I read this one so I don’t remember much about it other than Harry comes into his full powers sooner than most.
No Hiding Place - Good safe house fic with a side of Ron/Draco and an understanding Remus.
Critical Choices - Harry and Snape have to work together to win the war.
The Apple Tree - This isn’t exactly slow burn but you can’t get better than Mage Harry.
Unexpected Side Effects of Draught No. 9 - Post war Snape helps Harry deal with PTSD.
The Slytherin Method - Harry decides to take control of his fate.
Sanguis Reatus - Vampire Harry, need I day more.
Hopefully you will find something you enjoy among these.
Stockholm Syndrome - Snarry5evr
read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/3f2cKSe
by thesnarrysarchivist
Síndrome De Estocolmo / Autor original: Snarry5evr / Traductor: The Snarry’s Archivist ~Disclaimer: Los personajes son propiedad y autoría de JK Rowling y WB. Resumen: Como el heredero de la fortuna Potter, Harry siempre ha tenido que preocuparse por qué la gente lo atrape. ¿Qué sucede cuando se permite ser “atrapado”?
Words: 2789, Chapters: 1/?, Language: Español
- Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
- Rating: Explicit
- Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
- Categories: M/M
- Characters: Harry Potter, Severus Snape, Tom Riddle, Lucius Malfoy, Hermione Granger, Ron Weasley, Kingsley Shacklebolt, Remus Lupin
- Relationships: Harry Potter/Severus Snape
- Additional Tags: James Potter Bashing, Alternate Universe - Non-Magical, Flirty!Harry
read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/3f2cKSe
Ron: Shovel talk.
Tom: What?
Ron: Ginny and Hermione said I had to give you a shovel talk. Okay so a shovel is something you use to dig holes with and its-
Tom: I know what a shovel is Ron.
Ron: Oh good! I don't have to describe the tool I'll use to hide your body if you ever hurt Harry then!
Tom: *Wide Eyed.* Wh-what?
Ron: *Cold Smile.* Just remember Tom, being buried alive is painful.
Tom: Be the bigger person.
Harry: No? I’m 5'0" and bitter. You be the bigger person.
A man was going bald, so he got rabbits tattooed on to his head.
From a distance they looked like hares.
Thousands across the country are still organizing and marching for Black Lives Matter. It’s just not being covered as much. 🤔🤔🤔
Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Harry Potter/Salazar Slytherin, Hermione Granger/Luna Lovegood, Draco Malfoy/Ginny Weasley, Ron Weasley/Godric Gryffindor Characters: Harry Potter, Hermione Granger, Ron Weasley, Luna Lovegood, Draco Malfoy, Albus Dumbledore, Severus Snape, Ginny Weasley, Poppy Pomfrey, Minerva McGonagall, Salazar Slytherin, Godric Gryffindor, Rowena Ravenclaw, Helga Hufflepuff, Sirius Black Additional Tags: Where to start?, Time Travel, Hogwarts Founders Era, Another Self-Indulgent Fic, First Time, No Horcruxes, Slow Burn, Kinda, Potion-induced Mpreg, Accidental Time-travel, Parselmouths, Godric's Hollow, Can you tag a place?, No language barriers, because MAGIC, Hair Kink, NSFW potions, Bottom Harry, incorrect history, Do not copy to another sight, Do not repost without my express permission Summary:
Harry stumbles through a mirror and ends up in the Founder's time where they decide to train him to defeat Voldemort. Now if only he can keep his eyes off a certain Slytherin long enough to focus.
Another self-indulgent b-day fic.
Source: archiveofourown.org
Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Harry Potter/Severus Snape Characters: Harry Potter, Severus Snape, Remus Lupin, Neville Longbottom, Draco Malfoy, Albus Dumbledore Additional Tags: Elf!Harry, First Time, House Elves are not elves, self-indulgent fic, For my b-day, It's my party and I'll cry if I want to, just kidding, no angst in this fic, Cute critters though, This is how I celebrate, Creature-friendly magical AU, Nasty comments will be deleted, Do not copy to another sight, Do not repost without my express permission, Bottom!Harry, Top!Severus Summary:
A little something I wrote because I was in the mood for submissive Harry.
At seventeen, Harry is invited to the magical school of Hogwarts to learn to control his new powers, where he finds new friends, new adventures, and a certain dark-eyed professor.
A self-indulgent fic for my b-day.
Source: archiveofourown.org
America should go 4 years with no president after this term ends.
Taking some time to be single after an abusive relationship is really important.
Apparently this is not the first time police have tried to disguise themselves as Orthodox Jews before. This is so insidious.
@queermachmir not only that but I am wondering if they are hoping to intentionally strain black-Jewish relations by doing this. Seems a classic pattern in history, ruling class hopes to stoke hatred/blame on Jews so people don’t see the real problem.
How can you tell they're cops???
Many of the things that people think of as visually distinguishing about frum Jews have actual religious and cultural significance, and it can be very obvious when someone doesn’t know that and does them wrong as a result.
In this picture, the undercover cop is wearing a dark suit and a hat, but is not wearing tzitzit, the religious garment that all men from this community wear pretty much at all times. Not only that, but he has peyot (side curls) but does not have a beard, which flies in the face of the entire religious reason for having peyot. Additionally, although it isn’t shown in the picture here, one of the cops was also wearing a cheap plastic kippah from a completely different movement of Judaism (because I guess all Jews are the same to them?) and was seen blatantly doing things which would be considered to break the Shabbos.
The combined effect is like seeing a woman wearing niquab together with a mini-skirt – it’s not only extremely off, but it’s honestly rather offensive. It looks like they bought a suit and fake, costume peyot from a racist halloween store that also sells costumes of “Mexicans” and “geishas”.
There have been plenty of attempts by the ruling class to pit Jews and the Black community against each other before. Don’t fall for it when they try it now.
members of OOTP: we don’t trust you, snape. you switched sides and won’t tell us why, do you have anything to say in your defense?
snape:
Protesting works: don’t let it die
Reminder to not give up, you are bringing about change.
List of positives to come out of the recent protests as of June 4:
Feel free to add more if you know of more!
moonlandingwasfaked
This is a movement, not a moment! keep up the protests
Dumbledore: Hmmmm, I wonder why young Tom Riddle turned to the Dark Arts… did he not have anything better to do over the summers at the orphanage?
McGonagall: Severus, why do you still hate the Marauders so much? None of us teachers noticed you being mercilessly bullied for years, so surely this is just a childish grudge.
OOtP members: Harry definitely knows that adults will listen to him and help him if he asks for anything!
Snape: …
Snape: None of you have been abused as children and it shows
Chapters: 6/6 Fandom: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Harry Potter/Severus Snape, Draco Malfoy/Ron Weasley Characters: Harry Potter, Severus Snape, Draco Malfoy, Ron Weasley, Lucius Malfoy Additional Tags: Alternate Dimension, Dimension Travel, Neko Draco, mentions of mpreg, OoC Snape, Bottom Severus Snape, OOCness is explained, Potion-induced creature, No animes were harmed in the making of this fic, artwork, Auror Harry Potter, Curse Breaker Snape, Headmaster Harry, nsfw artwork Summary:
Chasing Lucius Malfoy through an inter-dimensional portal results in unexpected changes for Snape. Now Harry just has to keep his mind on the job and off his sensuous companion. Not easy to do when Snape looks ready to pounce.
Wrote this specifically so I could bribe more art out of the totally talented Masao! Beware the completely wonderful NSFW artwork inside.
A little collab I did with the @masaothedog. All chapters finally posted.
Source: archiveofourown.org
REMINDER: Prompting for HP Crack!Fic Fest 2020 opens TOMORROW!
A quick reminder that prompting begins tomorrow, 6/8! Tell your friends!
Prompts will be collected via Google Form, which will be made available in a post sometime tomorrow.
Questions/comments/concerns? Email me at hpcfmod@gmail.com.
