the sexual tension between me and the alternate reality i daydream about

this is absolutely the best thing i have read all day

wow how about that

Reblogged so fucking fast.

yo, i SMASHED that reblog button 

Contrary to many romance movies…

You don’t start a romantic relationship! By just walking down the street and talking to random strangers!!!

People aren’t single because they don’t want to put themselves in potential danger holy shit

Why some men are single:

You like what you see? It’s good to have many lovers.

Please don’t yell at retail employees during all this. It is not their fault that the stores are out of toilet paper, hand sanitizer, etc. etc.. They’re doing their best and they’re going through the same exact thing as the rest of us. Be kind.

let’s take a second to appreciate margot robbie and all she’s doing rn this woman not only fought tooth and nail to get birds of prey made but also fought to include harley’s bisexuality and is openly voicing her desire to introduce poison ivy into the dceu and wants to explore her and harley’s relationship... we stan

im sick of having crushes its time for the tables to turn and ppl to have crushes on me!!!!!

One of my favorite stories:

My mom was working as a lawyer when she was pregnant with my twin siblings. Late in her third trimester she had a court date. She asked the judge if it could be postponed due to her pregnancy but he refused saying she was “making a ridiculous excuse.” So she squeezed into the biggest maternity suit she could find and went to the courthouse. When she stood up in front of the judge, 8 months pregnant with twins and clearly in no condition to be standing for an extended period, the blood drained from his face. He tried to backtrack saying she could sit down, but being my mom, she chose to stand and glare at him for the whole damn hearing. He found in her client’s favor.

They renovated the office bathroom to be ‘eco friendly’ and replaced paper towels with a blower.  And got rid of all trash cans and other receptacles.  Yup, even the little bins inside the stall.  I and other women complained loudly, and were told that there wasn’t anything they could do about it.

So I took my used pads and threw them in the trash in the kitchenette area without being shy about it.  The men were grossed out.  Other women in the office were shocked, and were like ‘aren’t you ashamed to do that?  I just smuggled them home in my purse”

And I was like “I’m not ashamed.  The company should be ashamed to make me do this.”

We had bins in all the stalls the next day.

Incidentally, a refusal to provide adequate sanitary bins contravenes workplace health and safety laws regarding the handling of biohazardous waste.

Which, of course, blood is. Feel free to point that out if it comes up.

“polls show that 34% of americans will vote for–”

what polls? whomst is being polled? i have never once in my life been polled. what is the sample size? what is the sample demographic? is it really 34% of americans or is it 34% of americans who answer random numbers on their landline??? poll this dick

As a statistician, these are EXACTLY the questions you should ask when interpreting a poll.

In fact, you shouldn’t HAVE to ask. A data scientist doing their JOB will provide that information UP FRONT. How the random sample was taken, who was polled, and what demographics were potentially left out of the poll.

If that information isn’t there, don’t trust it.

i’m crying