You can’t “live under your means” when you spend 90% of your income on absolute essentials lk rent, utilities, food and gas. That other 10% goes to paying debts, getting toiletries and other irregular essentials, oh and maybe the car, car insurance, phone, health insurance, etc.? Wonder why the average american can’t keep more than a thousand dollars in their bank account? (Yk after paying bills) this is why!!!
Is a language dead if it has more than *squints* half a million daily speakers despite centuries of imperialism?
Fucknuggets.
that moment when a sleeping cat is curled up with their face half-buried and then you pet them and they curl up EVEN MORE and hug their own faces EVEN MORE?????
I believe very strongly in “I didn’t say it was good, I said I liked it”
but what might be even more important is “I didn’t say it was bad, I said I hated it”
I just wanna say if you hate something good because it sends terrible messages that’s fine but you can also just hate it because you hate it. free yourself of the struggle to find a “good enough” reason. sometimes it doesn’t hit right.
“I hate this author’s writing style”
is not the same as
“this author is bad at writing”
stop telling your teenage daughters who say they don’t want kids that they’ll change their mind
weirdqueeraltkid
reblog the shit outta this
I haven’t been a teenager in over a decade. Mind has yet to change on the subject.
- At 14, I told my guidance counselor that I didn’t want kids. He chuckled, patted me on the back, and informed me that when I got a little older, and I was with a guy, I would change my mind.
- At 16, my grandmother nearly had a heart attack because of her three granddaughters, myself and the youngest agreed we didn’t want to uave babies. Ever.
- At 17, my father asked about my life plan. I told him: graduate high school, get my college degree, do some traveling and writing, go for this particular job I wanted, retired around X age, take month-long vacations to places I wanted to spend time in, etc. He asked, “What about a husband? Children? Normal things a girl is supposed to think about?” My response- a husband if a man came along that could share an adventure with me, kids were a No Go. He assured me I would ‘grow up’ qnd change my mind.
- At 19, I shocked my former babysitter who had known me since I was a toddler, when I confirmed the rumour she’d heard that I didn’t want kids. She patted my mom’s arm and reassured her in a sweet voice that, “Don’t worry, girls say a lot of silly things before they meet the right fella, and wise up. She’ll give you grand babies”
- At 22, I was talking to a college professor who chuckled at my making a comment about how, “thank goodness I’m never going to have to worry about juggling child rearing eith marriage, work, and life”, then she realized I was serious. She asked if I was alright, thinking I could-not (not didn’t-want) kids. I told her the truth, could have but didn’t want to. She was aghast, then told me that I’d change my mind when my husband wanted some kids.
- Well, I’m over 30, still have absolutely no desire to give birth, adopt, raise, or have much of anything to do with children. I don’t hate children, I don’t think people who have them are crazy (more power to you, to create and/or care for another person), and I don’t think it’s impossible to have a life AND have children. I recognized at an early age that I don’t have that biological imperative to procreate, I don’t have the patience to deal with children (something that has shown very little improvement as I’ve gotten older, in fact it might be getting worse), and I don’t feel my life is incomplete without creating another life- I am good with living my own and doing my best to enrich the lives of those I care about (I try my best to be a good friend, to be a good sister, good daughter, good pet-owner, and a good person in general).
So please, please stop telling girls (or really kids at all, but especially girls) that they will change their minds. Please don’t tell them that meeting ‘the right guy’ will make them suddenly feel broody, that their potential future husband’s desire to have children will make her reconsider and see things his way. For one, a couple should have had that conversation and decided if it was a deal breaker, LONG before they got hitched. For another, it’s her body that gets to grow and birth another human being- her husband’s desire to be a father doesn’t supercede her autonomy.
Please, let girls make their own choices? Girls are forced to mature too fast as it is and are bombarded from all sides with SHOULD (you SHOULD be a size 2, you SHOULD wear this dress, you SHOULD have a boyfriend to be a normal teen, you SHOULD always smile), they don’t need another judgement from someone who hasn’t walked a mile in their particular shoes. Respect teenage girls and their ability to look at the world, themselves, their situation, and their future, and make an important choice.
*gets off soap box, slides it back under the sofa, lets out a sigh*
Thanks for attending my TED talk. G'night.
I had a lot of very similar experiences above, and everyone was so happy when I met my husband because he’s good with kids and was clearly the right guy for me. Except what they didn’t bank on was that one of the things that made him the right guy for me, was that he also doesn’t want children. Shocker.
Of course, now I’m disabled and we know it’s genetic, lots of folks support us being child free. But that’s a whole other can of ableist worms I don’t have the mental energy or time to unpack. Mostly I’m just glad that after 30 years of being told I’ll change my mind someday, I’m finally being left the fuck alone.
Yeah. I’ve had a lot of these, and also the deeply unpleasant experience of people who don’t know me trying to argue with my partner when I’m not even present about how I’m going to change my mind and want a child. It doesn’t matter how often either of us insists that I’ve always been the more adamant one about being child-free, people just will not accept that we don’t want to be parents.
And you know… I’m asexual. I have chronic pelvic pain. That pelvic pain is partly being managed with birth control, and may well be caused by a condition that would make me infertile anyway. None of that is anyone’s business but mine, and yet I feel like sharing it is the only way to make people realise I’m never going to be a mother. But then, I still can’t win, because it doesn’t get me any respect for making a choice that’s right for my body- just pity, because of course everyone with a uterus wants a baby in it, and how tragic that mine never will.
When I was a teenager and in my early 20s I was hospitalised multiple times for near-fatal blood loss due to extreme menorrhagia, and repeatedly begged for decades to have a hysterectomy, partly to stay alive, partly because I’m asexual, but mostly because it’s my body and I want it gone. Naturally I have been denied, every time, because even now as a severely anaemic, chronically ill, at risk for uterine complications and other medical problems, middle aged person I still might change my mind.
I’m on the cusp of 40 and not even two years ago, when I was getting vaccinations done for a trip, the “are you pregnant” part came up. I made it very clear that I was never, have never and will never be partaking in the production of small people and/or the necessary squishiness required to make them. 38 years old and apparently, “oh, you’ll change your mind” is still a thing, even from medical professionals.
To say nothing of the fact whenever I’m holding one of my little niblings, there is *always* some arsehole saying “it’ll be your turn soon”. No it sodding won’t. Look. I hold the baby, I give it back, done.
This x1000. I am nearly 40. I can remember being sure I didn’t want children from the age of 12. I’ve only become more sure as various friends and family have had their own.
But I also wish, in addition to not blithely telling girls that a desire for children is a sure thing, we’d normalise having changing feelings about it over time. That we’d be more chill with the idea that someone (of any gender) genuinely might not want kids when younger, but change their mind later, without the smug insistence that it means they were “wrong” about their own feelings. Or that someone might want kids earlier on, and then find when the time comes that actually, they don’t. Or that there might be a period where they fiercely want them, and don’t get to have them, and then after that, the wanting goes away and they don’t particularly regret it. Or that they might actually not feel that strongly about it either way, and if the opportunity comes along, cool, and if it doesn’t, also fine.
I actually think it’s pretty unusual to be completely certain, from a young age, and never change your mind - in either direction. I think most people vaguely assume they’ll have kids if they don’t feel strongly about not having them, and many MANY people have more complicated feelings about it than a simple YES DEFINITELY or NO ABSOLUTELY NOT, and most of us don’t know how to navigate that.
All of this! So much. So hard.
At 36 I’ve had this conversation multiple times. Mostly with other women, not with men.
“You’ll change your mind. Once you have meet the right guy….”
First of… I’d have to meet the “right guy”. That is assuming it’s what I want and I’m not even sure about that anymore. But let’s go with it.
I’d have to meet the “right guy”. If there was a “right guy” for me I’m selfish enough to want to spend time alone with him for a while and enjoy my time. Children do no fit in with that. I don’t want to be responsible for another person 24/7 for so many years. I just don’t. I don’t have the patience to raise a person. Every time the neighbor’s toddler has a nuclear meltdown over bedtime confirms that 10 times over.
And also the whole thought of something growing and moving inside me squicks me out like you wouldn’t believe.
So it really is best for everyone involved if I just don’t procreate. And no one can convince me otherwise.
I’ll just have to wait a couple more years until it’s “too late” and be all “thank the lawd for that”.
smilecapsules-deactivated202106
i love this because it’s such a simple concept but it answers things i didn’t even know how to ask
Looking out of people’s windows is such a peaceful way of travelling… I got a snowfall in Argentina, a nice sea view in Ukraine, a clothes line in the fog in Bangalore. Antonella from Tavernaro, I like your wooden bird.
agent-skulldrey
nobody talk to me nobody touch me i live here now. this is my new favorite thing.
WHAT WE DO IN THE SHADOWS 2014, dir. Taika Waititi, Jemaine Clement
What We Do in the Shadows S1E1
What We Do in the Shadows | 2.04
What We Do in the Shadows (2019– )
S01E01
ho boy it’s been a while since I last made one of these huh? This show really deserved one though since it’s literally one of the best things I have ever seen in my entire life
so in celebration of season 2 coming to a close as well as it beginning to air in the UK I kicked my arse in gear and made this powerpoint meme for this amazing show
Harvey Guillen as Guillermo de la Cruz in What We Do In The Shadows FX
St*phanie Meyer: Vampires are all sexy heterosexual white British rich kids who are geniuses and—
Taika Waititi: Shut the FUCK up every vampire is bisexual and a MORON
