I low-key love the fact that sci-fi has so conditioned us to expect to be hanging out with a bunch of cool space aliens, that legitimate, actual scientists keep proposing the most bizarre, three-blunts-into-the-rotation "theories" to explain the fact we're not.

Some of my favourites include:

Zoo Theory: What if there are loads of aliens out there, but they're not talking to us because of the Prime Directive from Star Trek? (Or because they're doing experiments on us???)

Dark Forest Theory: What if there are loads of aliens out there, but they all hate us and each other so they're all just waiting with a shotgun pointed at the door, ready to open fire on anything that moves?

Planetarium Theory: What if there's at least one alien with mastery over light and matter that's just making it seem to us that the universe is empty to us as, like, a joke?

Berserker Theory: What if there were loads of aliens, but one of them made infinite killer robots that murdered everyone and are coming for us next?!!

Like, the universe is at least 13,700,000,000 years old and 46,000,000,000 light years big. We have had the ability to transmit and receive signals for, what, 100 years, and our signals have so far travelled 200 light years?

The fact is biological life almost certainly has, does, or will develop elsewhere in the universe, and it's not impossible that a tiny amount of it has, does, or will develop in a way that we would understand as "intelligent". But, like, we're realistically never going to know because of the scale of the things involved.

So I'm proposing my own hypothesis. I call it the "Fool in a Field" hypothesis. It goes like this:

Humanity is a guy standing in the middle of a field at midnight. It's pitch black, he can't move, and he's been standing there for ages. He's just had the thought to swing his arms. He swings one of his arms, once, and does not hit another person. "Oh no!" He says. "Robots have killed them all!"

This post reminded me of this amazing Fermi Paradox Visualizer, if anyone wants to spend some time looking at fools in their tiny areas of a gigantic field and feeling some sort of way about it.

Criminal, op turned off reblogs

BEHOLD, FOR NATURE RECLAIMS THE SACRIFICE THAT THE ESTABLISHMENT REFUSES TO ALLOW US TO MAKE. IF WE CANNOT BURN IN SACRIFICE TO THE GODS, THE GODS WILL TAKE WHAT IS THEIRS BY FORCE

It's been on for 700 years

We need reminding.

For historical context: Christmas used to be the festivity where everyone got drunk out of their skulls. Even people who didn't drink otherwise for whatever reason would get drunk on Christmas, and people would be drinking more heavily than otherwise. So, yeah. Absolutely people needed reminding.

My boss was like “Do you have any idea how much money we’re losing” like who cares, it’s not like they would give it to me otherwise

Have our investors tried making coffee at home and not eating out so much?

i call this one “nobody likes you when youre 23”

uploaded this at 1 am thinking ‘oh no one is going to see this, whatever :)’ but reading your thoughts, your heartbreak and ultimately your hope made me feel like the world is one yknow what? We got this

The longer it takes for this to come across your dash the funnier it is

Which will fade first? Memories of the Area 51 "raid", or memories of Internet Explorer?

We know that Facebook is brainscorching your parents and tiktok is brainscorching your cousins, but some of you refuse to admit that you got your brain scorched here. However unlike those sites there isn't an algorithm here you just make bad choices.

That's all we ever wanted. To arrive at Hell as a result of our own dubious navigation skills instead of as the result of Satan owning all the road sign companies.

Le Figaro have a newly published photograph from inside Notre Dame shortly before the roof collapsed, as molten lead fell into the nave. (+)

This is what I love about photojournalism. It is just a history of moments where human beings have gone “I know I should really be hauling ass out of here but I have to get a picture of this”

shoutout to everyone who thought im drawing trans hatsune miku pirate everytime i post buggy the clown art

“lol Arthur Conan Doyle clearly didn’t know anything about drugs. Sherlock Holmes did cocaine but it calmed him down. That’s not how cocaine works!”

There are two options: Arthur Conan Doyle had never met someone addicted to cocaine or he met some with ADHD who was addicted to cocaine

#you cannot convince me sherlock 'i don't see a use for this common knowledge i shall forget it immediately' holmes wasn't adhd as hell #sherlock 'if i have nothing to do for a day i will literally start shooting the walls out of boredom' holmes #sherlock 'i have built a perfect wax replica of myself - why? iunno' holmes

He specifically took drugs when he didn't have a case to occupy himself, that man was ADHD as fuck

More like ghastly and CORVID garments 🎃🕸

You can help me make more comics by following me on Webtoon! 🍭

I spent so much of my life romanticizing the Great and Powerful Enormity of the Sea, reading about the salt and the sweat of the sailors straining to haul the sails or anchor while dreading the monsters in the cold, icy deep fathoms below…and now you tell me that a fathom is only 6 feet deep -

Six feet is still more than enough for a grave.

Hi, that is the most metal addition you could have possibly made to this post

love that he keeps doing this. genuinely my favorite fucking bit

stop making movies already.

hermey the elf was transgender

female elves:

male elves:

hermey:

you can be a different gender than the one you were assigned at birth but may god forgive you if you want to be a dentist

me realizing my experiences with sewing have been a lie this whole goddamn time:

I don’t know about human surgeons, but that’s a suture pattern I use to close skin all the time and you can see why.

The slip stitch (or invisible stitch) was created to hide seams and later used by surgeons.

My cousin is a surgeon and was sewing something and used that stitch and then froze and said “Wait this isn’t a person.”

Grandma said “We used it first keep going.”

remember not to embroider the patient

#just think   #when this gifset first passed my dash   #however long ago that was   #I didn’t even recognize the name Elon Musk   #what I wouldn’t give to return to that innocence

i love this man

One advantage of not really having a strong sense of gender identity is that you’re very [shrug emoji] about how people gender you. Sometimes people call me by she/her pronouns and sometimes they go with he/him pronouns and on the internet people often default to they/them, and neither option is entirely right but also, fuck if I know what would be right, and I don’t particularly care. Therefore I’m perfectly happy to outsource my gender identity to the people around me who actually need to figure out which box to put me in. I don’t need to talk about myself in third person, so really my pronouns sound like a you problem.

My pronouns are I/me and the rest is for someone else to deal with because I have better things to do.

Very fond of macrolabels, like “queer”, that provide zero extra information. Is it genderqueer? Is it romantic/sexual orientation queer? Is it queer as in “none of your fucking business what’s in my pants and what I do with it and with whom”?

This is actually probably the first time I’ve ever read something that accurately describes my relationship with gender--ie, ‘my gender is me and my pronouns are a you problem’--so thank you for that!

#you cannot gender me in a way that matters

Hey tumblr friends, in case I haven't told you lately, I have no idea what the FUCK half of you are on about and I WISH I didn't know what the rest of you are on about. Great work. Keep it up.

it should be 100% legal to go in abandoned buildings. like nobody is using it for anything why can't i go in

Isn't this how you get murdered?

no. it's how you get poisoned by mold or crushed by broken floorboards or whatever but there aren't murderers just hanging out in every abandoned building like cockroaches