lasagna (but alfredo sauce)

"No one ever tries to flee capitalism."

Well, that was a lie.

 the only criticism of millennials l accept

Constructive Criticism

My Eco-Terrorist Son is Absolutely Dripless

I still spend days, weeks every year thinking about how this critique pre-dates the advent of Programming Socks™ and cat-ear headphones, and asking myself, “did the Hacker Aesthetic go from Unfortunate Sweatshirts to Neon Catgirlgender Fantasy because of John Waters? Did he do this???”

God I hope so.

Video caption: Good guy who talks like a bad guy 

“Perhaps you’d like to see my pets. They were ALL … rescues.” 

“And as always, gentlemen, our profits will be … donated.” 

“Oh, I wish I could stay and chat, but I’m afraid I have to take my friend to the airport.” 

Redeemed villain who can’t let the speech pattern go

Megamind

more men should get hugs i dont think we as a society hug men enough

reblog to give a man a hug

THE FUCK? IT WAS NEVER IRONIC I'M REALLY VERY MUCH IN NEED OF A HUG

Not a man anymore, still very much in favor of giving and receiving hugs

I'd like to shout out my good friend Chris (not on Tumblr) who, when we were like 13 and at an all boys school, seemed to single handedly introduce our entire year to the concept of hugging. I vividly remember being like, 'woah you are... touchy...' and everyone being kinda awkward about it at first but then by the end of the year bros were just hugging bros all the damn time. And I like to think all of us took that new found comfort with physical affection out into the world and spread it like a super wholesome plague. Chris, baby girl, bisexual icon. I salute your golden retriever war on toxic masculinity.

whole and adorable facebook post just now by someone who thought these deer were lost goats

🥰💞 When you think about CONSENT, think about FRIES!

CONSENT IS…

Scientists have discovered a bug with a new moveset

i hate when ppl act like the only reason to not like a "sad" ending is because you can't take it or whatever. personally as a tragedy enjoyer, i hate a poorly written ending. i hate an ending that is just kind of a bummer. i hate an ending that feels mean-spirited to the audience. i hate an ending that's redundant. i love a sad ending that is thematically consistent, poignant, and bespoke to the rest of its narrative.

Prey lesbian right here :3

Ribcage is a hell of a word. Like yeah my bones trapped my heart inside my chest if u even care. I don’t know if it wants out

Lethal company

@airlocksandaviaries Sound like you should make it a codpiece.

yeah yeah alright everyone's a comedian

pro lifer blocked me on twitter for asking this but if embryos have souls, and then they're aborted, exactly how sapient are they in the afterlife? Are they forever doomed to float around with no thoughts in their heads? Is it like just animal intelligence like a little happy goldfish? Do they still have an embryonic form? I've always seen an assumption that child souls are still in child form so I guess so. Do the other people in the afterlife keep abortions as little pets? Will they stay in a fishbowl or are they too stupid + intangible and float right out again?

I'm happy for tumblr for graduating from being obsessed with a show with fake gay angels to being obsessed with a show with real gay angels.

[x]

i lost my shit in the breakroom at work. ne er woulda fukken guessed in a million years.

An approximate description of my reaction:

Apt reaction photos, no need to add anything, no notes

Can’t believe impulse went to a lovejoy concert. That’s the wildest idea to me

For anyone curious, some additional information: impulse went w his daughter as her chaperone and said there was “lots of naughty language” but liked some of the songs a lot and is listening to the albums rn

writing a garbage essay feels like you’re the cow who gave birth to the two headed calf. in the morning, my professor will wrap him in newspaper and dissect him on a cold operating table. but here he is alive, under the pale glow of my computer screen. he is beautiful. there are twice as many logical fallacies as usual.

YOU ARE WRITING LIFE!!!!