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thoughts and stuff

@alexresides

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Imagine an alien sharing a cool human fact they just learned like ā€hey guys did you know that the silvery markings on humans actually aren’t true stripes? They’re called stretch marks, they happen when the human is growing fast enough to actually outgrow their skin, which is apparently something that just fucking happens to almost all of them at some point of their life.ā€

and another one is like ā€wait so you’re saying humans don’t have stripes.ā€

ā€actually they do, but the stripes are invisible. There’s genetic code that’d give them stripes but they’re just the same colour as the rest of the skin. So the visible stripes are not real stripes and the real stripes are invisible.ā€

ā€I swear if you tell me one more weird human thing today I’m beating your ass.ā€

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oh my god two words in that just UNIVERSAL LANGUAGE

All hope is lost so quickly I can’t stop laughing.

danish tv is the best thing ever

ā€œOkay :(ā€

He went straight to Acceptance. He didn’t even go through the five stages of grief. He just started at Acceptance.

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argumate

seems that Chrome has around 60-65% market share, so it’s not totally dominating the market yet but it’s worrying that we’re basically reliant on Apple and Microsoft to hold the line.

Does Firefox not count for anything?

about 10% and falling, but perhaps that can change, I just don’t see how.

Chrome edging towards 70% on desktop, Microsoft has thrown in the towel, Safari obviously rules iOS, Firefox exists only as insurance for Chrome.

Please, please I’m begging you, use firefox.

PLEASE install firefox as a mobile browser and then run adblock on your mobile browser it’s so good I promise.

Look.

Look.

I know I’m a total grind about open source stuff but browsers are the PERFECT place to learn to love open source software and for so long FireFox was a major part of the browser market and sometimes if you want to see what kind of fuckery google is up to it helps to see the kinds of things they block in firefox and just

There’s an organization that makes free, excellent, safe software that doesn’t collect and market your data but for some reason two thirds of the world uses a google product and most of the leftover population uses apple and just

I promise, firefox is so good - the extensions are incredible look - I can use lightbeam to see what sites I use and how they connect to other sites (bottom right should give you an idea how much time I spend on tumblr)

or I can look at ublock origin and see that it’s blocked over 2 million requests since I installed it or I can run the facebook container extension and stop facebook from tracking me and you know what I bet you can do a lot of that on chrome too but you’re doing that while chrome itself is tracking you and gobbling up your activity for google and

firefox is so fuckin great and it’s such a great ambassador for other open source projects please be a big old fuckin nerd with me and use firefox and run a bunch of funky extensions and customize the fuck out of your web experience.

FIREFOX.

I just love firefox okay.

Honestly I switched to Firefox from Chrome a while ago, and my mobile browsing experience - and also my desktop one - is just so so much nicer.

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Okay, so I did this.Ā 

I went in and said I wanted some highlights like this girl. My hairdresser repliedĀ ā€œCan I see a full headed picture so I can get a better idea of what you wantā€¦ā€ So I scrolled down and revealed the dog. She (I kid you not) fell to the floor laughing, tears and all.Ā 

Important question, @little-detonator. Did you get the highlights?

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i can’t talk shit about the pirates of the caribbean films as if elizabeth swann becoming pirate king didn’t hand my entire ass to me and make me the gay i am today

these 2 looks basically defined my sexuality and i’m not afraid to admit it

things pirates of the caribbean got right:

1. will and elizabeth’s love story

2. elizabeth becoming pirate king

3. avoiding sexualizing elizabeth or the other female pirate characters in the first 3 films by allowing them to wear period-accurate pirate outfits that aren’t tailored to be revealing and impractical forĀ ā€˜sex appeal’ just because they’re women

4. hans zimmer’s entire score but especially the iconic ā€˜he’s a pirate’ main theme

5. When the movie came out, morally-gray characters like Jack were actually not really a thing yet in pop culture, and it’s not Pirates’ fault that there are a ton of stupid shitty copycats out there.

6. I run a corseting panel at cons and literally use Elizabeth’s lace-up scene as a video clip of what historical corseting was actually like, because the only thing they got wrong in this scene is that tightlacing wouldn’t be a thing for about another 200 years (and you couldn’t tightlace with the corset style Elizabeth is wearing anyway). It’s one of the most accurate corseting scenes I’ve ever seen.

7. Will’s hat.

8. That scene with all the pirates on the gallows where that little boy starts singing Hoist the Colours? Yeah, that’s fucking legendary. The rest of AWE was kind of a trash fire, but that scene gave me goosebumps.

9. There’s this great shot in the first one where they really drive home the class differences inherent in this time period by having the governor talking about progress and civilization to Elizabeth in their carriage, and then they cut to a shot outside the carriage where a beggar gets splashed by mud from the wheel. It’s a perfect way to underline that everything is not, in fact, a nice little upper-class fairytale, and to give some weight to Will’s storyline, because he has a lot more in common with that beggar than with the governor.

10. For its time, the CGI was fucking amazing.

11. And let’s not forget the work of the makeup department, which had to actually invent new ways of putting on makeup for this movie.

12. The governor’s death scene. Holy shit.

13. They could have gone with a Jack/Will/Elizabeth love triangle, but they didn’t. There are some hints Jack is in love (or at least in lust) with Elizabeth, but he recognizes that she loves Will, and that’s that.

14. You’ve got to admit that wedding was unique.

15. The introduction of fantasy elements to historical fiction outside of Tolkein-esque fantasy, and how it contributed to and expanded the Fantasy Media boom we’re still enjoying today.

1. They had a woman of colour play a goddess.

2. They had a woman pirate right in the first film, when the tradition is to only show male ones (hell, the PotC ride at Disney had a wench auction scene until recently). And it was a female pirate of colour at that!

3. Elizabeth may not have known how to fight in the first film, but she wasn’t helpless either. Her first instinct was to fight, but she also had the brains to recognize when it was best to hide instead. Plus when given the chance she stabbed Barbosa that one time.

4. Elizabeth’s lack of fighting ability was not simply because she was a woman, it was clear it was due to her societal circumstances, since we saw other women of different socioeconomic backgrounds being able to fight (and when given the opportunity to learn Elizabeth took to fighting like a duck on water).

5. The Hoist the Colours scene where we see pirates of multiple ethnicities and their varying flags, reminding us that pirates came in all shapes and sizes and weren’t just white men.

6. One of the Pirate Lords being yet ANOTHER woman of colour. She may not have had much of a speaking role if memory serves, but even her presence is already a big deal.

7. The pirates accepting their King is a woman without much fuss.

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chubbyooo

Pirates is amazing I will not here a bad word

Davy Jones CGI is legendary and a ton better than some of the stuff done today šŸ˜„

I’m pretty sure that female Chinese pirate was a nod to a real, documented female pirate king who was Chinese and had a whole fleet of ships at her disposal but I can’t remember her name rn

My favorite part about the Bretheren Court voting wasn’t that they were against Elizabeth for becoming King as a woman and newcomer. They were pissed at Jack for being a chaotic neutral who broke the decades long tradition of an egotistical stalemate by voting for someone besides himself.

Also, the deleted scenes from Black Pearl and At World’s End that divulge more of Jack’s troubled past, like how he was branded as a pirate by the East Indian Trading Company because he stole a ship full of slaves and freed them.

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mistermaf

In addition to all of the above, the movies are just so damn FUN, especially the first. You have Johnny Depp and Geoffrey Rush basically in a competition to see who can be the Hammiest Pirate Ever, you have top-notch character actor Kevin McNally doing the salty old tar bit, you have the two pirates who don’t really do much but somehow have all the best linesĀ and a mute pirate who TRAINED HIS PARROT TO TALK FOR HIM AND NOBODY KNOWS HOW BUT THEY ALL JUST ACCEPT IT.Ā  And the fight scenes are some of the best since Princess Bride (Jack vs. Will in the smithy? *chef’s kiss*). Like, Disney may have oversaturated the market too fast on the franchise but it became popular for a reason.

I WILL NOT hear a bad word about Pirates on my page, thank you!Ā 

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twitblr

Dormant Predators

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loueejii

This is why I have this. Even if they can get the lock opened they can’t push the door open. Got it at Lowes for $20.

reblog for that last bit to save a life

If you’re like me and have a large gap under your front door (someone could take a stick and just poke the leaning stick style door jam out), I recommend the Addalock. It’s small, perfect for traveling, and this lock is CRAZY. It’s so simple but the door does not move.

You can’t see it from the other side, either. It also cost about $20, and I can’t recommend it enough. Easy to travel with, too! Great for Air BnBs!

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deminat-20

That’s why I have these on my doors. They get drilled into the side and once its flipped over the door nothing is getting it open. Not the door being unlocked nothing, I’ve unlocked the door and pulled and pushed as hard as I could and it didn’t budge. When I go on a trip this is what I use and when I’m home I leave it on too. No one is getting in here.

Okay I know that it is necessary for many but what do you do if you need medical attention and you’re not able to open the door from the inside? Can the fire department get through these at least?Ā Ā 

Yes. The fire department can and will break down your door if necessary, it’s one of the reasons they have axes; it’s entirely possible for door frames to melt/expand/seize or otherwise become unopenable during a house fire but the door itself can be hacked down. Or the window. In rare cases, the wall. Firefighters don’t fuck around with collateral damage when lives are at stake.

😱😳😨😔🤬🤯
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I saw this one post ages ago where someone said that video games can’t have plus-size characters, becauseĀ ā€œhow could they do cool action?ā€ I can’t find the post, but it inspired me to show you guys some gifs of real people.

All this and also like videogames dont have to have realistic actions.

Videogame characters regularly do things that real life people cannot do.

If youre someone who can accept link turning into a wolf but cant accept someone fat doing flips and parkour and shit maybe youre just fatphobic and you dont actually care whether or not plus sized people can do those things.

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aeruh

Rosemary? You mean spicy pine needles?

Are you insinuating that regular pine needles aren't spicy???

Regular pine needles are regular

Not by rosemary standards

...Have you eaten pine needles?

We've been friends for like four years, do you seriously have to ask if I've eaten pine needles or not

I mean I’m pretty sure you have but I don’t want to assume

Of course I've eaten pine needles. Various kinds. Singleleaf pinyon is weirdly the best

Are they...

spicy?

You know, I'd love to tell you but I'm pretty unclear about what marks the difference between "spice" and "strong-tasting plant that isn't considered a spice"

I’ll have to eat some pine needles myself then to find out

Ok but it only counts if they're PINE needles and not just any old needle-like leaf off a tree

I’m going to eat every needle-like leaf I see

Please Don't Do That

Needle-Like Leaf Roulette

...I'll accept this plan as long as you promise not to eat any yew leaves.

I can try very hard not to

Pine needles are distinguished by the presence of a sheath-like structure at the base of the leaf, almost always holding bundles of two or more leaves. Yews don't have the sheath thing

It’s time for me to go out into the woods and stare at needle leaves

Finally you can gain real insight into my average daily life

this conversation reads like two shakespeare characters who come out in the middle of the play to talk about something completely unrelated for comic relief and then are never heard from again

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reblogged

conservatives really tried to get away with thatĀ ā€œbeing gay is unnaturalā€ bullshittery huh

bruh, 90% of giraffe sex is gay, ostriches are more attracted to humans than other ostriches, tiny frogs make homes in elephant dung,Ā 50% of orangutans have fractured bones from falling off so many damn trees, and most animals can be hypnotized. nature is the most unnatural thing ever and being queer is veryĀ run-of-the-mill compared to the nonsense most species get up to. learn to deal, bigot

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ya know what yeah, i’m counting it