mostly away

Hi Tumblr!

Local queer trans girl werewolf VTuber weirdo here letting your know that I am approaching nearly 12 Months of being unemployed.

Over the last 12 months I have:

Unfortunately, even if I got a job RIGHT NOW, I would be unable to pay rent and bills for the foreseeable future.

I am constantly applying for jobs and trying to keep everything above water, but at this point I've become desperate for help.

If you have the ability to donate or contribute, you can use any of these below:

P@yPal: Paypal.me/kdinj Ca$hApp: $KdinJ Kofi: ko-fi.com/kdinjenzen

Additionally, if you have any leads on possible jobs you can feel free to message me as I'm actively applying to everything I can right now.

One trap that All the Time Daydreamers, Sometimes Writers, fall into is this idea that writing is transcribing the daydream.

It’s not. The daydream is a fuzzy thing. There are gaps that you don’t need to fill in a daydream, because you already get the emotional point. A lot of it is emotion. And because it makes you feel like a complete story would, your brain is tricked into thinking that’s what you have.

Then you sit down to actually write the thing and you realize you’re trying to write a Space Opera without actually inventing any planets or space ships. You don’t even know if the characters start out on the same planet. If they’re on a planet at all. You didn’t bother to check.

Now you will vaguely reference this in first-second person in any writing guide you make up for the rest of time.

When you write, you’re building something. It’s not a pale imitation of what you have in your head- what you have in your head can’t exist on the outside. This is a whole new beast. It’s going to ultimately look different and this is a good thing.

Also the internal critic is dumb.

I’m not even trying to be nice to your writing specifically here. The internal critic is looking for a completed story and you don’t have one yet. So anything it has to say flat out does not apply.

This is so relatable that I’ve considered making this post many times.

The idea in your head is wonderful because it gives you all the emotions and ideas without pesky things like concrete details and logic getting in the way. Trying to write it down forces you to decide those things, which makes it a different story from the one that exists as a pure cloud of imagination. Story ideas can have multiple conflicting ideas happen at once–you just know the general gist and it doesn’t matter what order things happen in or which exact words are said. When you write it down, that cloud of possibilities collapses into a single reality–if Character says this line first, that means they can’t say it later; if they say Funny Line A, they can’t also say Funny Line B at that same spot in the conversation; if they go left that means they can’t also go right at that moment. Infinite possibility becomes reality, and those choice can be hard. And that’s not even getting into the fact that the moment you try to nail down a concrete timeline, issues like, “No one would react this way” or “That actually makes no sense” or “What is the mystery they’re trying to solve?” pop up and wreck the beautiful little thing in your imagination.

Any act of writing is an act of translation. You’re adapting it into a new medium. Which makes it not the thing in your head, but which does make it something you can share with your sadly non-telepathic audience. If you can figure out how to write it.

Reblog to make it die faster

Like to charge, reblog to cast.

Andrew Robinson on playing Garak for the first time. 

OH MY GOD???

okay but "the symbolism is Real and Trying to Kill You" is my favorite kind of symbolism

like yeah the monster is a representation of your unresolved trauma and guilt and a manifestation of the sins of your past but it's also a real creature and it's going to fucking Get you

like literally if i didn’t want to see some weird nonsense i wouldn’t be consuming scifi

“ohh this episode is about meeting a bunch of dinosaurs who developed space travel and left earth to go live on the other side of the galaxy isn’t that crazy?! isn’t that silly?!” sure yeah maybe a little but by focusing on that but you’re missing the narrative reason for it which is to provide a starting point to explore religious authoritarianism and the production of scientific knowledge

just a spoonful of [nonsense] helps the [critical thinking about uncomfortable social and structural problems that are such a fundamental part of the background radiation of our lives that we can't see them] go down

this is the meanest thing anyone’s ever said to me. apologize to star trek: voyager season 3 episode 23 distant origin right now

GATE: BALDURED

Very happy. Wanna replay it immediately. Have some things I dislike or think could have been implemented better but overall truly one of the games ever

(And not to spoiler but before anyone asks, because i know it's Contentious: yes I am a huge proponent of Karlach's Third Option™ and that's like the default worldstate for me, I have huge emotions about it.)

remember! if you don't like something about the way a fanfiction is written, you can simply do the following:

Girl. You know I love your theories about queer coding in television. But some times those two male characters are stood that close bc they need to get them both in the frame .

relevant post

moon reminds me of your grace all the love i can’t repay rest and know that i will pray farewell my dear old friend

Unpopular opinion: All games should have the option to enable pausing.

And to save almost everywhere.

Yes even in soulslike games.

I am an adult who has a full time job and responsibilities. I get to play maybe an hour a week. I do not want to lose that hour of progress because devs decided 'pause' was not allowed in their game and I had sudden unexpected things come up that meant I had to quit the game without saving/leave it playing and hope enemies wouldn't respawn.

Also it would massively increase accessability. I have fully working non-injured hands and they still need a break after a tough boss fight. I can't imagine how frustrating it must be for people with joint pain, arthritis, etc, etc.

i’ve never made a post like this before, but i’m running out of options. i’ve applied to dozens of jobs and still haven’t gotten a single interview. my severe fatigue (most likely long covid) limits the type of work i can do, but at this point i’ve started applying to jobs i know i’m not physically capable of. i’m getting desperate.

my roommate and i already tried 211 services, but we were denied financial assistance due to factors outside our control. i really don’t want to pay rent late again, because we were already threatened with eviction last month.

i need $600 before November 5th to pay my half of rent.

save the local ecosystem! help keep this cat (and her owners) off the streets!

TL;DR please help two trans people living in florida avoid eviction

ven/m0 : @scientistman

ca$happ: $nanoplasm

payp4l: nanoplasm

0/600

Me, coming up with baldurgate fic ideas in the group chat: if Mr. Larian wanted me to come up with the soft fluff kind of trans emotions instead of the The Horrors™ kind of trans emotions then he shouldn't have put the canon trans character in an R-rated version of the Catra-Adora-Shadow Weaver dynamic

If you had to pick, what's the ONE trait in a fictional character that makes you immediately go "oh this one's mine"

The three kinds of bird species name

1. God’s Specialist Little Boy

2. Hot Breasted Milf

3. Grey Bird With Brown Head

4. Walter’s Fingernail