hate when you find a character whose so infuriatingly Your Type that its embarrassing like yeahg no one is gonna be surprised when i announce this is my new Guy Of The Month

you get an invite to a gay wedding

you open the card

“WARNING: SHONEN-AI, YAOI, BOYXBOY, THAT MEANS BOY KISSES!!! LIME/LEMON LATER. DON’T LIKE DON’T ATTEND, RSVP PLZ”

File this under posts from 2012 that deal immense psychic damage

happy 10th birthday to one of the posts of all time

ANT Quattro Gifs

Hey, can y’all rb this if it’s okay to send you messages asking about your ocs, cause on god I wanna interact with y’all but I am terrified of being annoying lol

not romantic not platonic but a secret third thing [what would happen between earth and the moon if the earth stopped spinning as illustrated by xkcd randall munroe]

[ID: A page from a What If? book that reads, "In fact, the Moon — our faithful companion — would act to undo the damage Andrew's scenario caused. Right now, the Earth spins faster than the Moon, and our tides slow down the Earth's rotation while pushing the Moon away from us. (There's a footnote here, that says, "See 'Leap Seconds,' http://what-if.xkcd.com/26, for an explanation of why this happens.") If we stopped rotating, the Moon would stop drifting away from us. Instead of slowing us down, its tides would accelerate our spin. Quietly, gently, the Moon's gravity would tug on our planet..."

Here, the page has a comic of the Earth and Moon. There are four "panels" — there are no lines separating them, but there are four depictions of the Earth and Moon — and in each, Africa and Eurasia are shown on the Earth as the Moon spins around it. The Moon says, "Hey, Earth. Earth? Why'd you stop? / Oh no. Are you okay? Earth, are you okay? / Don't be scared, Earth! I can help! / I'm here, Earth. Your moon is here."

The text finishes, "... and Earth would start turning again." There is a final panel of the comic, where the Earth has turned, showing Australia, a bit of Asia, and the Pacific Ocean. The Moon tells the Earth, "I will never leave you." /end ID]

Downsides to being an Egyptologist: When someone does this on the monty python dead parrot app:

𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓆏𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊

And they're like 'ohhh cute frog in mushrooms!!!' and you're like:

mnḫ-šwt-mnḫ-šwt-mnḫ-ḥqt-mnḫ-šwt-mnḫ-šwt-mnḫ

or in English

chisel-sunshade-chisel-sunshade-chisel-FROG-chisel-sunshade-chisel-sunshade-chisel

Marrying Carter in Harvest Moon DS Cute! (North American version)

oh… sorry no not the archaeologist, i mean Pastor Carter from Mineral Town!

(or is it Pastor Curdy….?)

so in the girl version of HMDS, there’s two “secret” Mineral Town bachelors that you can marry by talking to them enough times on the phone. one is Mason, the guy who runs May’s Tailoring… but the second, Pastor Carter, is a bit more obscure…

i couldn’t find them uploaded anywhere so here are his 2nd* thru 10th conversations+his proposal+proposal rejection in english! if you want to see it on youtube instead here you go

*i failed to record the first conversation when it happened, and there’s no way in hell i’m resetting my whole game again (…yet), so…just know the first one was like “oh you want to talk? what should we talk about…….. …… ….. …. i can’t think of anything. well see ya………” extremely riveting stuff

he’s so obscure that i didn’t even realize that he was a bachelor until i found out about the mechanic from this japanese wiki!! (here’s an archive link to the page on him in case the page doesn’t work) all i did was test whether it worked in english since i couldn’t find any english info at all mentioning it. i’m sure others have found him… right……..

in case the links above don’t work, a small guide to holy matrimony below the cut since i can’t find one in english

Incredible information! I can't believe this was secret for so long. I had never heard anyone talking about it before! I went ahead and fired the game up and grabbed the first conversation that wasn't in the Youtube video, too:

i have midterms tomorrow and here i am 

Happy 10 Years of Ponyo Loves! 💕 🐟

I always forget this wasn’t a thing everywhere but my high school had a fun and innovative way to torment us in PE. They got heart rate monitors. It was this awful strap that went under the bra line and paired to a watch. The first day was great cause we got to set our resting heart rate. We did this by laying in a dark room and napping.

But then once a week we’d have to strap on these monitors and go running. The monitors were old tech and didn’t always pick up your heartbeat, so you’d have to use cold water between it and your skin to get a better connection, gods know why. Warm water never worked. After the day our watches would be collected and our efforts recorded.

The idea was that if your heart beat too fast you were supposed to stop, and if it was too slow you’d speed up. In practice this was ridiculous, staying in the green zone all class was ridiculously difficult.

Even people like me who were stubbornly resistant to running the mile couldn’t stand the horrific constant beeping and made attempts to placate the reviled machine. It was always fairly miserable. I had PE first thing in the chilly morning, dashing cold water on my skin before running around half awake was the low point of my week.

But for some unknown reason, the teacher insisted that no play could happen on these days. We were given the freedom to run all over campus but woe betide us if we tried to make a game that actually made this enjoyable.

We’d initiate games of tag only to get yelled at for not just… running. Any kind of play was forbidden. On one memorable occasion someone got a kickball and we started an impromptu soccer game with it.

If someone’s heart rate got too high they’d drop to their knees to wait out the shrieking of their watch so an extra element was added to the game of trying to win without going too hard. I remember being absolutely delighted, the thrill of that game still lives in my heart, hoping I could score a goal before my heartbeat betrayed me to the hated watch.

When the PE teacher found us we were soundly scolded and the ball was confiscated. Our happiness burst like a soap bubble and we turned our back to the enchantment of the green field and resumed slogging along in a grey haze as expected.

this is the single worst way i've ever read to describe an erection, frank herbert

Never apologize for your "cringe" fanfic sex scenes again

😳 <- this emoji but without the blush or romantic connotation. im not blushing im staring you directly in your fucking eyes

if you excuse the bad editing it would look like this

can we hit 150k before this piece of shits one year anniversary

u know before yellow emojis took over as automatic, the one we used for this exactly was O_O . which has unfortunately become the shortcut for the stupid blushy one. but we also used to emphasize the emotion by making the mouth bigger, O_________O . there was also o_O , for when you're weirded out, and o_o for small weirds or intrigue. you could use a period instead of an underscore for the mouth, o.o, O.O, which was a little more like shock.

there was also -_- for when you're annoyed. -_-* for pissed. the asterisk is a forehead vein. a very bad day or very bad joke could result in -___________-********** .

anyway that's your history lesson for the day, dont forget your roots.

let us also not forget the meekest of them all: ._.

>_>

happy wednesday!

A Sudden Shower of Waterbugs, from the series A Set of Goldfish by Utagawa Kuniyoshi (1842)