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NB 👏 Does 👏 Not 👏 Mean 👏 Woman 👏 Lite

Gothic Lolita:

K

Person not really involved in goth subcultures but who just likes black:

i want you all to know that there’s a breed of draft mules called the American Mammoth Jackass and they are Large Boys

mother Fucker unlimited

a blog: *follows me*

me, an aged monarch lounging on my fur-strewn throne, gesturing for my servant to bring me my monacle: Bring them here! Bring them here, I say. Let me look at them.

guards: *drag the unwitting blog before me*

me, peering intently at the new blog and poking them with my scepter: Is this a real person? Hmm? What have you to say for yourself? What are your fandoms? Your interests? Speak up, these old ears aren’t what they used to be.

guards, tentatively: they do seem to be a real person, sire. We found them in possession of several memes and a fandom rant.

me, subsiding back into my sumptuous furs and waving them away: most extraordinary. It has been an age since there was a real person, but just as well, the dungeons have been overflowing with those tacky pornbots. This newcomer may remain in my domain. Make them welcome. And fetch me a quill! I feel a ficlet coming on…

this is the funniest thing i have ever read

this mug i bought has a cat sitting at the bottom

goodbye kitty

I’M SO MAD

Im not. X’D

H-Hewwo?… I’m sorry but I couldn’t resist making this… :

To be completely honest, that fuckin rp screws me up cuz I fear drowning, good god

You’re on a date at your significant other’s house when they suddenly tell you they have to feed their pet. The instruct you to wait while they go to their basement. Wanting to meet what you thought was a cute four-legged friend, you got up to follow them.

What you didn’t expect to see was your significant other feeding a giant 6 legged, 4 horned beast. What was this pet's meal? Nothing much…just a couple of human hearts…nothing too big.

I assume one of them is ours?

Oh you think this is funny? You think this is a joke? Funny fucker huh? Humor? This is humorous to you? You think this is a game? え？楽しそうか？冗談だと思う？ゲームだと思う？こいつ、バカだね？笑うな！楽しそうとゆうな！「ネル」じゃないぞ！

additionally:

and the one I’ve somehow seen in at least 5 different doujinshis for some reason:

[images from https://twitter.com/daurunnpappa/status/807726985698889728]

Make me smile…

damn, I just thought it was about rain down in Africa, I didn’t know it could get deep. Tell me, how do you interpret the lyrics in Africa by Toto?

Seems like a bit of a reach ngl

K, I’ll give it a look

africa by toto is about a werewolf

Okay this is the fucking plottwist of the century

affdhbdfjojvtij im goNNA CRY

JELLYFISH IN SPANISH IS JUST “BAD WATER”

Listen, sometimes you’re swimming and you dont see the angry ocean ghost zap you, so you decide that its the water that hurts

jellyfish in english is just jelly fish

sometimes you’re attempting to construct a taxonomy of aquatic animals and you don’t know what an invertebrate is, so you decide the angry ocean ghost is probably just a weird fish made of goo

The day has come. The LEGO has spoken

How a black hole is made.

Easy Eh !

Some assembly required

Anti anxiety.

I’VE BEEN LOOKING FOR THAT CAT ONE FOREVER

This is amazing but I’m on mobile so the gifs keep freezing. So I’m just sitting here turning purple like a fool. Keep breathing everyone!

If the Government Treated Men Like It Treats Women

👏🏻This👏🏻though!👏🏻

And some men do not understand the point and the message and leave comments like that the condoms and contraceptives are not the same, therefore no sexism.