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when your main blog doubles as your personal

(solar apex)

sittin in the back seat with the windows wide and a hot hot breeze prayin restlessly

keep your eyes straight cuz i hope you don’t see what it’s like for me

rend free from the back beat and just hold me for a moment til i get free i’ve decided that it’s not needed and i won’t be here again

one night maybe you’ll think of me one night maybe my planted seed will see the light and stop the bleed

one night maybe i’ll stop thinkin of you one night maybe i’ll see the deepest blue in the sea where i drowned you

Louis Vuitton 1998 Soccer Ball

Frida Kahlo - What I Saw in the Water (1938)

holy girls club

Hours of Louis de Laval, France ca. 1480

BnF, Latin 920, fol. 182r

Vivienne Westwood FW 1990

“what does an apple taste like? what does love feel like?” love is grocery shopping picking up snacks making sure they’ve gotten sun and exercise making sure they’ve eaten (enough) tiny bouquets of dried up flowers little notes on receipts and band aid wrappers and post-its

i once found a planner someone had thrown away and in it there was a sizable collection of tiny notes written on receipts/band aid wrappers/post-its and i remember being ashamed to witness such genuine affection that was not meant for me to see

remembering that book they wanted to get remembering that movie they wanted to watch making time for them when time is the enemy never thinking that time with them is a waste of time endless second chances asking periodically, “is this relationship still good for you? is there anything i can do to make it better?” accepting that negotiation is a good necessity talking about them to the moon talking about them to god feeling the loss feeling the presence looking at teenage couples and smiling what an apple tastes like 

crying irl 

adut akech and nyaueth riam by harley weir for i-D.

Zeiram (Keita Amemiya, 1991)

the man who left his will on film (nagisa oshima, 1970)

Pulse (Kairo) (2001, Kiyoshi Kurosawa, dir.)