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Tumblrsaur

@alaspoorian

comics stuff. ace stuff. games stuff. sometimes stuff that makes me chuckle. sometimes stuff that's important.
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hey so protip if you have abusive parents and need to get around the house as quietly as possible, stay close to furniture and other heavy stuff because the floor is settled there and it’s less likely to creak

  • socks are quieter than bare feet on tile/wood and for the love of god don’t wear slippers/shoes if you can help it
  • climbing ON the furniture will disrupt the pattern of your footsteps and make it harder to hear where you are in the house
  • crawling will do the same and if you get caught crawling you can pretend you fell 
  • the floor near the wall can be really loud if the floorboards/carpet is old and not completely flush to the wall
  • do NOT attempt to use a rolling chair to travel without footsteps. they are extremely loud and hard to steer

Also. Breath with your mouth and not your nose. Your nose will whistle. Trust me. If you need to get into your fridge, jab your finger into the rubber part that seals the door closed and create a tiny airway. This will prevent the suction noise when you open the door. When drinking liquids (juice mostly), pour out your glass (or chug from the jug) and replace what you drank with water. If it was full enough in the beginning, no one will notice. DO NOT STEAL ALCOHOL. THEY WILL NOTICE IF IT’S WATERED DOWN. Bring a pillowcase for dried foods like cereal and granola. It helps to muffle the sound it makes when it pours.

If your house has snack packs (like gummy bears or crackers or chips), count them every day until you know the rhythm that they get consumed. (This took me a week and a half with my twin brother and sister). Then join the rhythm when you make your nightly visits. It will be that much harder to figure out it was you.

KEEP A TRASH BAG UNDER YOUR BED FOR WRAPPERS AND STUFF BUT DONT FORGET TO THROW IT OUT WHENEVER YOU CAN. BUGS YKNOW. Hope this helped.

I might have some useful info to add.

-a jar of peanut butter is long lasting and easy to hide under a bed or in a dresser drawer. I lived off of jars of peanut butter and boxes of saltine crackers I would buy on grocery trips with my mom.

-two words: Slipper Socks. These are the socks that have rubber designs on the bottom for grip. They make no noise, and also keep you steady on slicker surfaces like tile and wood. You can find them cheap at Walmart. They also keep your feet more protected if you’re outside.

-if you’re secure enough in your room to have a small food stash, make sure you’re not too obvious about it (duh) but also move its location every few days. I kept mine in a shoebox under my bed, then switched it to a backpack in my closet, then wedged between my bookshelf and wall, and I would cycle locations until i moved it permanently to a false-bottomed drawer I installed in my dresser when my father was gone for a weekend. I would NEVER put food directly into my stash after taking it. I would keep it in pockets of my clothes and between books until everyone went to sleep, then I’d stock and stow my stash for the next few days.

-get a water bottle with a filter in it. I used to be able to reach my bathroom from my bedroom door down the hall using a huge step or minor jump/leap. If I was afraid of being caught at night, I’d fill up the humidifier tank we kept under our sink while I took a short shower, and would refill my water that way. It might not be the best option, but I kept a small stockade of water under my bed for emergencies.

-if you can, smuggle your garbage out in your backpack or purse. Dispose of it at work/school. I got caught twice by carelessly throwing away packaging.

-if someone knows the situation you’re going through (close friend/partner/etc) see if there’s a way for them to get food or other supplies to you at school or work or what private time you may get. A hidden first aid kit literally saved parts of my body before and I owe it to a close friend.

-try learning the building’s natural rhythm. The house I grew up in would creak and settle heavily every night for 3-5 minutes. That was my shot, and I had to be QUICK. I still got caught a few times, but learning the patterns in our floors and walls, when they creaked, WHERE they creaked, kept me going. Eventually I was sprinting in slipper socks to the kitchen and back in less than 90 seconds.

-if you have stairs, or live upstairs. Sit as you go down them one at a time, or climb up them like an animal. It keeps you low/out of lots of motion sight, and also can reduce noise and creaking by distributing weight over more than 1-2 steps.

-You can use common hand sanitizer to remove the stains certain snack foods leave behind (coughs cheeto fingers) and a dry toothbrush can help scrub the color off your tongue. If you can get powdered toothpaste or toothpaste tabs to keep on hand, it makes a huge difference in sneakiness.

-I don’t recommend going for dried foods like granola or cereal unless you can sneak it to a secure place to get it. It’s too loud, it’s a gamble every time for something with less caloric intake than it’s worth if you get caught. Of course, there are times when that’s the only option!!

-if you’re taking milk, add water, but be SURE to shake/agitate the bottle to distribute the dairy fat with the water. I got into the habit of shaking milk jugs when I started sneaking it, and explained the habit as something I read in an old comic strip my father showed me. (Back when whole milk had a lot more cream fats and they’d separate, so shaking it would redistribute the cream.) I still shake milk jugs to this day.

-if your windows open or don’t have screens, eat leaning out an open window. Any food mess will be lost in the dirt. I was lucky I had bushes and birds outside that would catch my granola bar crumbs before anyone could notice.

-canned goods are tempting, but not worth it. It requires too many tools (can opener/strained sometimes/utensils/some need heat) stick to thinks like various nut butters (sunflower/peanut/almond), crackers, dried fruit, and easy to conceal food bars (nature valley/nutrigrain/etc.) dried ramen packets are good uncooked if you can stand the texture. Apple sauce and pudding cups are also easier to sneak and stash than one might think, and can be eaten with your fingers. The only canned foods I recommend are condensed soups and precooked pasta (spaghetti-o’s). You can easily mix them with a little bit of hot water from the tap and get something more sustaining than a handful of captain Crunch. The cans are cheap, sometimes recyclable, and drinking soup takes way less time than chewing solid food.

-if you menstruate, attempt to stash pads/tampons in a safe location. Sometimes shit happens. Pads can work as bandages in emergency situations. Sometimes shark week comes unexpectedly. If you can sneak a roll of toilet paper or paper towels, these are also life savers.

-plastic utensils from takeout containers can be hidden inside socks and will be worth their weight in gold when you least expect it. I bought myself a tiny plastic bowl from the dollar store and kept cheap trinkets in it on my desk so it didn’t seem like a bowl I was eating out of. You could try this with something like a mason jar, which is also useful for drinking out of or storing water.

-if you’re eating a crunchy or solid food, try soaking it in water. Mushy food can be repulsive in texture, but I could clock the sound of someone eating a nature valley oat bar from like 6 miles away. Dunking it in water (or using a secret bowl+water) can reduce noise, and also eating time since you don’t have to chew as much.

-keep a laundry bar or tide pen on you. Laundry bars are super useful, a little hard to find though. I washed a lot of stains out of my clothes with laundry bars in my bathroom sink as a kid. Not proud if it, but it kept me flying under the radar at school.

-clear rubber bands, plain twine or string, paper clips, and thumb tacks. Indescribably useful. I once rigged a system to open tricky cabinets and get objects from inside using two paper clips and a foot of plain string like a mock lasso system.

-if you’re pulling objects from tall cabinets, use your chest or stomach to cushion them. Let them fall into your torso and then into your hands cradled underneath. Not as loud, not as much grabbing, if someone sees it they can mistake it for it falling on you by the body language.

-get a bandana. Or four. Napkins, bandages, tool, and accessory all in one.

-get a tiny sewing kit. I’m talking 3 needles and a spool of thread tiny. Scissors if you can sneak it. See things into your clothes. Make hidden pockets or compartments. Threadbanger on YouTube did a video a few years ago about sneaking things into music festivals using tiny clothing mods, but they may be useful in sneaking money or medicine.

-on the topic of sneaking money. don’t take bills, take change. If your abusers don’t meticulously count their nickels and pennies, they’re an easy(ish) way to build up a tiny savings pool. I found nickels the least noticed coin I took, even more than pennies, and taking two every few nights from where they’d be tossed on our countertop soon built up to a semi-reliable fund I passed off to someone to get me food for my stash without having to sneak it from the kitchen. As soon as I became “independent” in my food storage, I was subjected to much less scrutiny. I managed to build up a solid 1-2 week ration supply after hoarding change.

-you can tape SD cards to the inside of book dust covers(the part that folds inside the actual cover of the book), if you have a sewing kit or zipper on it inside the stuffing of your pillow (trim a corner, stuff it inside, stitch it closed) or (this is final resort) VERY CAREFULLY remove the covering from your outlet and tape it to the wall stud before replacing the casing. I kept mine inside part of my wooden bed frame that I hollowed out using, you guessed it, take out silverware knives and 4 nights without sleep.

-THE FLOOR IS LAVA WAS KEY TRAINING FOR ME AS A CHILD. I learned to take pillows with me, climb on furniture to disrupt my flow of movement, toss a pillow down, and use that to cushion any rattle our living room could give off as I crept to the kitchen from the side entrance so my mom’s dog wouldn’t bark or alert anyone. I highly suggest crawling around on all fours like some sort of beast to stay out of sight.

-can you run your house blindfolded?? If you can’t. Maybe you should try to learn. I suffered some heavy eye traumas growing up and had a collective 3-4 months just IN THE DARK. Eyes bandaged, left alone. It was terrible, but damn if I couldn’t navigate the whole place silently, without any visual cues. This helps a lot with the whole moving around in the dark thing, too. Listening is obviously key.

-if your parents start getting suspicious, or you’re suspicious they’re getting suspicious, watch out for traps. String on the ground that gets shifted when you walk on it. Baby powder or flour left to track footprints or doors opening/closing. My dad was partial to wrapping a bungee cord around my doorknob and attaching it to the closet across the hallway. I wouldn’t be able to open my door enough to get out, or if I did, I risked ruining the structural integrity of the wrappings he did, and he would notice.

-learn to tie some knots. Strong ones. They’ll come in handy at one point or another.

-remember that you’re not totally alone. There’s people out there for you. Wanting to make everything better. You don’t deserve what’s happening, it isn’t normal, and you will eventually find help. But staying safe is important, and you are important.

It upsets me that people might need to know these but I know it could really help someone by reblogging

ALWAYS REBLOG

Pro tip if you can use the lid off pudding or jello as a spoon.

it’s so depressing that people need these tips. but if you do, I hope they’re useful. hope they help you stay safer

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anti-sjws for the last 10 years: feminazis, feminazis, feminazis, feminazis, nazi nazi, sjw’s are nazis, nazi nazi nazi, grammar nazi, feminazi feminazi
normal sensible attractive people: these real life people are actually real life nazis and hold nazi beliefs and want to kill minorities
anti-sjws: thats pretty fucking fucked up that you just call anything you disagree with a nazi, like i think thats pretty wild of the ‘tolerant left’ to do
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the greatest skill a woman can learn for herself is self reliance

to clarify … so many strong women in my life rely on men. that dependence is dangerous. ladies here are some good ref resources I’ve found helpful on my journey towards self reliance

automobile

plumbing

electrical

home

this list is in no way comprehensive feel free to add on

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nerdgul

a lot of ‘man things’ are a lot easier than you think they are. especially considering the fact that most of these things when buying the parts come with directions on the packaging that men usually don’t even look at (and often end up doing it wrong because they were taught by fathers who also did not look at the packaging). 

like i recently had to change my car battery and freaked out cause i thought id electrocute myself but turns out new batteries come with directions and its the easiest shit in the world so long as you can lift the damn thing. 

so yeah, ladies dont ever feel like a man is a necessity for life, you can do this shit on your own its easier than you think!  

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Shout-out to all the asexuals over 25. Representation for ace folks tends to skew young, but that doesn’t mean that adult aces don’t deserve respect and visibility.

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the fact that ashton kutcher basically dropped his career as an actor to create an organization to help stop sex trafficking and has saved over 6,000 victims and has identified over 2,000 abusers is so fucking badass

SUPPORT THORN!!!!! www.wearethorn.org

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One of my all time favorite songs is Old College Try by The Mountain Goats. It’s a song about a couple whose marriage is deteriorating, and are facing the end but resigned to face it together, but somehow it always brings this tremendous sense of calm and peace when I listen to it. I can’t explain it to you. It just does.

I started listening to The Mountain Goats in high school and I’ve leaned on them for a bunch of the struggles in my life. From the death of grandparents to trying to crawl out of the depression hole, I’ve listened to The Mountain Goats, over and over.

Anyway. I love this song. I love this band. I’m proud of this art. 

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Deconsecrator’s origin, from 2012’s The Mighty Thor #12 (by Matt Fraction and Pepe Larraz), is more or less directly out of the Mountain Goats’ song “The Best Ever Death Metal Band in Denton.” Cyrus and Jeff and all that.

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reminder that 30 isn’t old, it’s very normal to not accomplish everything in your 20s, and that it is never too late to learn that thing you’ve always wanted to learn. you’re always growing. that’s a good thing. 

Who the hell accomplishes everything in their 20s? Who made that a thing?

I was 48 when I started my apprenticeship to become a tattoo artist. I was 50 when I married the love of my life.

You’ve got time.

I needed this right now. I’ve got time!!!

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everyone loves to shit on david cage for making his games so heavily prompt based but let me tell you it’s the prompts specifically that elevate his work to the level of modern masterpieces

wheres the one where the player fails every prompt in a chase scene and it turns a dramatic pursuit into a mr bean movie

this the video you’re talking about?

Source: twitch.tv
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“Solitude, solitude. I love you so much, that I’m sometimes afraid that God will punish me some day by filling up my life with you…”

Dulce María Loynaz, from Against Heaven: Poems; “XXX,

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I think a lot of people forget that a library is a giant room filled with free awesome shit that you can take home and play with, no questions asked. just as long as you tell them you’re gonna, and remind them if you want to spend more time with the stuff.

I think the US library system should have a once a year advertising spree where they just have the phrase

“Libraries. Don’t forget: Things are free in here.”

Posted literally everywhere.

No. If ordinary people start going into libraries, libraries are going to get robbed. They’ll spend tons of money trying to replace missing books and they’ll be loud as hell. This is a terrible idea.

@nuriem2. are you for real?!

First: there’s no such thing as “ordinary”. People from all walks of life have always used libraries. The system I work for has ALWAYS had missing lists, and always will. It’s human nature: a certain percentage of items are always going to go missing. Most libraries take that into consideration when ordering materials. 

We use strategies to curb things from walking off, of course: put video games and DVDs in locked cases, for example. But you’d be surprised how many people dont even know how that we have video games! Also, we have a SUPER EXTENSIVE digital collection, accessed for free with a library card. You dont even need the physical items! We also have a toy collection. That’s right, TOYS. For free with a library card. And they ALWAYS come back. We have access to makerspaces, audiovisual recording studios, and much more, all for free with a library card.

Still, we get patrons who walk off with things, improperly check things out (which adds to the missing list), and guess what we do? We constantly try to help patrons regain access to being able to check things out. We do a lot of fine forgiveness so that patrons can continue to take things home. We know a lot of people might not be able to pay their fines at the moment. So we try to work with them because life happens. We don’t judge or try to limit patrons. We try to help them to clear their cards. 

Fuck outta here with that “going to get robbed” mindset. Libraries are free, and always will be. They stock way more things than youd ever imagine. Try walking in one some time. I bet it’s changed a lot since youve last been there.

^^^

Also, fuck the idea that libraries have to be quiet. In half an hour, I’ll be teaching kids how to make their own intruments from vardboard and a MakeyMakey set and they will play piano, bongos and a synthesizer that does fart sounds (they’re 8-10 years old…) and we’ll be doing it right in the library. The children’s library is never quiet. There ARE quiet corner and there always will be, for people who want to work here. But on the whole, I prefer a library where people are not talking in hushed tones and walk around on tiptoes. I want them to feel at home and that bring a certain amount of noise with it. Also, what is ordinary in your mind? What are these ordinary people you are talking about because I don’t think I have seen such a person in my life.

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fadagaski

Seems to me that SOMEONE is well off enough to not need to use the services of a library, and not coincidentally, they believe poor people don’t deserve access to those same resources that, in owning them, SOMEONE feels superior.

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kimbureh

I have an infinite love for libraries and it took some time to realize they offer so much more than “just” a huge treasure of books even though I visited libraries daily for years.

I didn’t expect them to offer other stuff like guided tours, public talks and discussions, workshops, help with research and computer software, etc, so I didn’t really see it at first. But libraries have a very important social role for people of ANY background! I can’t even be mad at library fees because I see them as a donation to a wonderful service that is otherwise free or almost completely free!

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cygnaut

Libraries are for everyone

We also have AC in the summer and heat in the winter and comfortable places to sit. We have tables to work at and (sometimes) outlets to plug things into. We have a lawn and sometimes we put lawn games out on it. We have literacy services and free wifi and programs where you can play with LEGO or see a medieval weapons demonstration (we had a trebuchet on our lawn once - we launched water balloons with it) or learn about local history or geology or wine or dozens of other topics. We run video game nights and board game afternoons and computer classes and storytimes and we just started running trivia nights at a local pub. We have a display space local artists can apply to exhibit their work in and we host art shows from the local high schools once a year. And that’s just where I work. Some libraries can offer more, some can offer less, but we all do what we can. Why do we do it all? Because EVERYONE DESERVES ACCESS. Every single ordinary person out there? They have the right to access information. Libraries aren’t for the elite. They’re for anyone who wants to use them. Hell, we have tons of material available online now. Stream it for free! Movies, shows, music, audio books, text, databases, newspapers. You don’t even have to physically come in the building again once you get a library card and you STILL get access to all of that. That’s why we fucking exist. For ordinary people and extraordinary people. For the people who can get it elsewhere and the people who can’t. We offer it free. Because you deserve it.

Libraries are for community. If you don’t believe people should access them for X reason(s) you don’t believe in community.

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happy father’s day to thor odinson— who is the legal guardian of everyone that doesn’t have a father or the best relationship with their dad. he loves you and hopes you’re staying hydrated.