The best feeling? Putting fuzzy socks fresh out of the dryer on your cold feet.

Mr. Corona Virus enjoying a day at the beach

Mr. Virus! You’ve made a little hut!

But you’re too big. You won’t fit.

Mr. Virus! How did you get in there?!

Mr. Virus has given up on living in the hut and has now declared himself supreme ruler of beach huts.

He also built a little path for those who are small enough and want to visit. How nice of you Mr. Virus!

I am not deaf or hard of hearing in any way, however I am learning ASL. My mom likes to help me with my ASL since she took a few semesters of it in college. This results in the two of us signing at each other in the middle of the grocery store. Yesterday, this happened:

Me: I know my teacher taught me the sign for peach, why can’t I remember?

Mom: well it has been awhile since you were in class.

Me: Yeah, that’s true. Everything my teacher taught me has gone through one ear and out the other. Or should I say in one hand and out the other?

Mom was laughing for the next twenty minutes and I had to distract her with bourbon ice cream

Today while my mom, sister and I were shopping for our movie night, we met a rather kind gentleman. My mom was reaching for the drinks on the top shelf and got it down all by herself. We applauded her and he joined in because he was right next to us. We thanked him for his kindness and he responded: “my sister is 5’3, so I understand.” My mother is 5’2 (and a half) and my sister and I are 5’1. We ended up following him into the candy isle where mom told us to grab whatever we wanted for the movie tonight. He said: “what’s your address?” As a joke. We laughed and and talked about our plans for the night and then he asked if we could help him out. “I know that we just met and you don’t know me, but I feel like you guys can help.” He said. Being neighborly, we said yes. I thought he was going to ask for help choosing between two candies, but no. He told us that his father had yelled at him for eating the last candy bar. His cart had about 10 candy bars in it and a few more in his hand. “Should I spread out these candy bars on his bedroom floor while he’s away on vacation?” We said yes before he could say another word. “It might be better if you hide them in weird places.” I told him. He cocked an eyebrow. “Like behind the toilet?” We bounced off ideas for strange places to put his chocolate-y treats until he had a plan. He thanked us and wished us luck with our evening. I don’t know if it’s what’s happening in the world or the fact that I haven’t had proper human interaction in months, but my day significantly improved because of him.

Quarantine needs to be cancelled. My sister just ran into the room and smeared lipstick on my forehead saying “Siiiimmmmmbbbaaaa” because she was bored and saw someone on Tik Tok do it. I’m so done. I’m so done

I am ashamed, I am insulted, and I am LIVID.

1) Persephone is not that shape. Yes, she isn’t the size of a twig, but the creater of the web comic didn’t make her chubby either. She has CURVES. She thicccc with 4 c’s.

2) This is offensive to women who ARE chubby. To imply that she isn’t beautiful because of her curves. WRONG SIR! Very wrong! Beauty comes in all shapes and sizes. Ask Hera. Ask APHRODITE. You know? The goddesses of marriage and beauty, respectfully? Neither one of them are skinny, twigs.

3) Even if the author had drawn Persephone like this in the web comic, Hades would still LOVE her. Because he is a gentleman. And gentlemen don’t care about your looks. They care more about your personality and your soul. (Although, it doesn’t hurt to have someone who is drop dead gorgeous like Perse is).

4) Beauty comes in all sizes. This is post is not to say that skinny women who look like Minthe in the drawing are ugly. Some people may prefer skinny girls like Minthe over CURVY girls like Persephone or thicker girls like this poor imitation of Persephone here. I just don’t like the implications that this drawing is trying to make.

5) Persephone is better. (This is an opinion not a fact. Don’t hate me)

6) I am deeply sorry if I have offended the artist who did this. I just believe that the message you are trying to make is offensive. Your art work is far better than mine, and I wish that I drew as well as you. However, I cannot ignore the problems I have with this. Again, I am sorry if I offended you.

There is no greater disappointment than when it is dead quiet during a test, and you let out this monster of a sneeze...and no one says bless you. But you know full well that everyone heard you. But they still won’t bless you.

I feel bad for the guy in my class today, who accidentally drank four packets of laxatives. When he told me, I said, “so it’s been an interesting day for you, hasent it?” Bro looked me dead in the eye and said, “that’s the scary part, nothing has happened yet.”

I just realized; Lilo means lost. So when Stitch was shouting lost so that his family would find him, he was shouting for Lilo.

Has no one noticed that we went from Scampi Linguini to Alfredo?

So my sister and I were watching Hercules a few days ago, and we had a thought. The movie started, and the guy was narrating, and the the muses cut in. Normal movie. But then I had an idea. When the one muse said, “honey, you mean HUNK-ules!” It was like a lightbulb went on. Now I’m disappointed with how Disney has made classic disney movies live action, but if they dared to touch Hercules, they need to do this. That need to make Lizzo play as the thicker muse. Along with Janelle Monae, Queen Latifa, maybe Beyonce, and Taraji Henson. Or Rihanna. Maybe Rihanna as Meg. I would 100% watch the live action if they got those five women to be the narrating muses. But they have to dance and sing.

Oh my god, more people need to watch Much Ado About Nothing starring David Tennant and Catherine Tate. It’s on YouTube and it’s the most beautiful piece of Shakespearean theatre I have ever seen and it’s the most funny too. There’s a scene in the play where Benedick (I’m not kidding, that’s his name), played by Tennant, overhears his friends spreading a rumor that Beatrice, played by Tate, loves Benedick. The acting, the dialogue, and everything in between is pure gold, and David’s shit-eating grin is the best thing in this world. You need to watch it!