I hate you all.

I'm cackling because I just smuggled the word

"Maßnahmenbewerbungsgenehmigung"

into a pull request, in a place where probably noone is going to look during code review.

Could I have worded this differently? Yes.

But am I German? Also yes.

Listen. I hyperfixated on bears Fall of 2021 when I was riding the Struggle Train so hard and just never stopped hyperfixating and now have not one, not two, but three whole ass bear blogs and everyone in my life knows me as the bear person

Best sticker

Freakin’ awesome. We live in anaheim so our boys got to enjoy the all-access Disneyland Daily pass. Our youngest (Tanner) wanted to be an officer. Unfortunately he was too small for the restraints on splash mountain so when the coaster sped up it flung him out and he skidded about 200 feet on the asphalt. Here’s what we’re keeping him in right now:

Disney won’t let us bury on park grounds because of a potential copyright issue with the superman thing.

We miss him a lot, but there’s a cancellation fee on the Daily pass, so we’ve been making the most of it. His brother still enjoys the park and since we chose not to press charges, we’re entitled to one free mickey pancake a day

??? Reading that looked like you tried to copy abd paste 3 differint stories together to make us not realise you just copied and pasted??

First of all: splash mountain is a water log ride. There are no places where it just…speeds…up? Its a fucking water log ride???

BECAUSE its a water log ride it DOESNT HAVE RESTRAINTS….it DOES however have a minimum height requirment of 46 inches to ride the ride, so EVEN IF this kid was too small, they WOULD NOT let them ride.

There is no asphault anywhere near the track itself. The CLOSEST you could come is the big drop at rhe end but again, minimum height requirement of 46 inches tall to ride, the angle of the drop and the speed at which you go it is physically impossible to get ‘launched’.

I feel like this is obvious but theres so much obviously wrong about the second addition i suppose i need to state this.

SUPERMAN. ISNT. DISNEY. Superman is DC. The only theme parks that have licenced DC character based rides is six flags.

Six flags, another park that HAS MINIMUM HEIGHT REQUIREMENTS for rides.

That has restraints on rides in which are necesary. Which again, YOU CANNOT RIDE IF YOU DO NOT MEET THE SAFETY GUILDLINES.

Go try to shitpost and ruin the reputation of a differint park, will you? At least make sure your story is even plausable before you open your mis-informed mouth.

@crabwalker​ Are you seriously explaining to me how Splash Mountain works? Do you think I don’t remember how my son died? Oh, and it’s “physically impossible to get launched?” Guess what, asshole? My SON got launched. This is the last photo we have of him.

You’ve said some cruel things to me, but I’m going to be the bigger person. I’ll be praying, for your sake, that nobody in your family ever gets launched.

certified iconic post

Dungeons and Dragons: A new generation.

what would you even do in this situation. how would it feel emotionally.

I failed my calculus exam because I was sitting in between two identical twins.

It was impossible..to differentiate between them.

sometimes i forget most people don't know that birdhouse shapes aren't just for shits and giggles and that birds actively prefer and even need specific shapes to nest in

So which ones need the Frank Lloyd Wright ass houses?

the ones that make 240,000$ a year by making other birds work in their warehouse for 5 sunflower seeds a day

I'm glad that so many trans people have migrated from reddit to here because a lot of trans communities on reddit have a pretty terrible vibe compared to the ones on tumblr

Average trans post on reddit: I hate everyone and everything and the world and also myself for I am a pallid sickly frail creature cursed by being born in the wrong body, destined to never be a real woman, afflicted by the horrid reminders of my manliness every time I gaze upon the naked wretch that is my own body

Average trans post on tumblr: big fat hairy unwashed trannies who work the deep frier at Zaxby's are making me crazy 😍

Choo Choo

Fuck, ya’ll I’d nut so fast.

Imagine trying to get off WITHOUT the chuff chuff noises

wake up besties new back breaking coal labor dropped

Is this the high speed rail everyone’s talking about?

Since July is Disability Pride Month

(as opposed to every other month when we're all demure about disability rights /gentle sarcasm)

I wanted to highlight one of my favorite artists: Liberal Jane.

Cosplayer: Alyson Tabbitha. Country: United States. Cosplay: Cosplay VS Reality. https://www.facebook.com/AlysonTabbithaOfficial/ @alysontabbitha

She is a shapeshifter

Only explanation.

officially decided that anyone who tries to divide the lgbt community is a fed. i dont care if you're not actually a fed, if you're causing infighting in a minority community then you're a fed who just isnt getting paid to be one. either apply for a job at the CIA or shut the fuck up

some people understood this post. some people revealed themselves to be feds

Ethan Peck this, Zachary Quinto that, i think we all know who the title of best Spock actor goes to…

Bernd Das Brot takes the cake every day of the week

i do not kink shame. there is absolutely nothing wrong with being a sissy.

the issue that i have with sissies is that so many of them think that it’s okay to follow me and interact with me from their fetish accounts.

when you are done engaging with your kink, that’s it. you walk away and continue your life as a privileged cis man.

trans people live under constant oppression and you have the audacity to engage with us as if we are a part of your kink?

fuck. off.

do not equate your kink with my identity.

this but with one small correction, MUST* be opt in.

enthusiastic consent or gtfo.

and i do NOT consent to being fetishized as a part of your kink.

“how could you have forgotten that” i forget Everything. unless i remember

"how can you remember that" I remember Everything. unless I forget

TIL “Yankee Doodle” was written by the British to mock americans. “Doodle” is thought to come from the German “dödel”, meaning “fool” or “simpleton” and “macaroni,” a flamboyantly stylish type of dress, painting the Yankees as morons who thought placing a feather in one’s cap made them a “dandy.”

via reddit.com

so you’re telling me that “stuck a feather in his hat and called it macaroni” would be like saying “wrote a G on his belt and called it gucci”

that’s…a pretty good analogy actually

US moron came to town

Hunting for some coochie

Wrote a G up on his belt

And this bitch called it Gucci

Seeing my notifications get flooded with this every July 4th is the only thing I respect about America

i think i want a glass packer, it would give me an edge and add a lot of danger to my mundane life

dance too hard in the club and my dick flies out of my pant and shatters all over the floor

Cinderella

imagine kicking a guy in the dick and you hear a shatter

me: “yeah I dated a guy in high school who came out as gay. it was before i knew i was a boy so needless to say it didn’t work out”

coworker: “damn dude was preordering”

other things this coworker (who is a cis guy) has done/said:

—got confused about why I’d never been a boy scout because he forgot i was trans

—told me he was gonna get top surgery scar tattoos to match me after i get mine

—laughs at all my trans jokes, even if they’re supremely unfunny

—calls me big dog (and him little dog) even though he is about as tall as two of me

— “I can’t believe she would say that transphobic thing to you. In June? Pride month?”

Once I said "My gender is whatever's funniest at the time" and my coworker stops dead in his tracks, turns slowly and says "So are your pronouns honk/honk?" killing me instantly

i also was pre-ordered by a lesbian who broke up with me because she came out as gay.

it’s been 15 years now and we laugh about it.