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Then Suddenly, Cat

@aileuromania / aileuromania.tumblr.com

Make no plans, and none can be broken.

Wow. First listenthrough of So Much (For) Stardust, and just as I suspected from the first singles, this album really talks to my depression, particularly in the lyrics. And it’s so much more symphonic than their earlier stuff.

Maybe I’ll have more observations once I’ve actually finished the album, but so far, holy shit.

Gah, the musical references to different rock eras! The music! The brokenness sounding joyful. The isolation and need for others… gah! *dribbles*

Though I cannot for the life of me remember the song/piece of music the title track reminds me of. It’s tickling the back of my mind, but I cannot yet bring it to the forefront.

Is it sad that I feel I want to finish the second season of Shadow and Bone before Netflix inevitably announces its cancellation?

Has anyone seen an uptick of pornbots here lately? Just me? Ok then.

If I don’t know you, I will report and block you.

I need to get back into the swing of writing again, even if it’s just twiddles. I haven’t felt inspired to actually put words together in years, and I miss it. I have so many characters, so many realms and ideas in my mind, but I haven’t had the ability to write.

I need to fix this.

Today in WTF, I was running around on my newest character when I suddenly got this in-game mail.

It was so random I just stood there stunned for a few minutes. This is what my character looked like at the time, FWIW:

This is my latest character, Lluwelyn. I had a thought that inspired him, but now that he exists and is level 80 I’m not sure he fits his intended story. I don’t like forcing characters to be what they don’t want to be, after all.

One of the dangers of rolling a key farming character every week is that sooner or later you’re going to roll a look that you really want to keep. This is one of those occasions. I haven’t even featured my newest actual character here yet, and yet here I am showing off this character that’s destined to be deleted unless I can justify the cost of buying a name change certificate and another character slot so I can keep on rolling a key farmer a week.

I’ve even picked a permanent name for this one, and a background is starting to form for them. Damn it. I may not hang out here much anymore, but the altoholism proceeds apace.

I’m sitting awake at 3am for various reasons I won’t go into here (TL;DR, brain being bad).

Lately I’ve been feeling flickers of story trying to be written. I have snatches of character interactions, and of course I still have at least three ideas I could turn into a novel (if I could make words happen) with which I entertain myself to sleep at night.

One of the things that has been popping into my mind has been the thought of continuing the Buds stories about my Guild Wars 2 characters. There’s so much backstory behind them that I’ve never been able to write.

Enla and Sjoukje met at the races in Amnoon, Enla all but falling into alcoholism and nihilism after the whole kerfuffle with Balthazar. Learning your god is a dick who cares nothing about you or your prayers does a bit of a number on those devout people who based their entire lives around him, you know?

Cadfyel used to be considered beautiful - in the Dream, anyway. But when the dragon attacked the Pale Tree his birthing pod was damaged. His face was so severely injured from the attack and subsequent fall, the menders essentially had to sand the features off it to get to tissue that could grow again. He still has claw marks across what’s left of his eyes where the menders couldn’t risk sanding further. He was tempted by Mordremoth, both in his Dream and without, but he finally refused to become what he realised was so evil. He was “adopted” in a way by Teudila (who has faced her own trials before becoming a Revenant), and he has decided to walk the path of the Vindicator, reflecting his own two sides and how they can be used to make things better.

Lluwelyn is my newest character and I’m still getting to know him. He’s a reticent, quiet person, but highly intelligent and speaks only when it’s really necessary. He loves music. He’s a druid, reflecting his more magical leanings, and his desire to help people. He can be quite charming when he wants to be.

Electrotech Zapp is a grotty, horrible, little nerdy slob. He’s got a nasty temper and holds grudges. He doesn’t really get along with people, but loves loves loves his golems and mechs. Loves. He’d probably have joined the Inquest if he hadn’t been such a lazy little shit. He’s smart, but he tends to shove that intelligence down people’s throats, even more than the average Asura. Arrogant little grot.

Ok, that’ll do for now. At least I’ve written these broad strokes out somewhere. Next time I should write about Kaylee and why she of all the Asura has a second name.

Gotta love driving past the self-avowed “homophobe” at work with Demi Lovato’s Cool for the Summer blasting on my sound system. Just in case he wasn’t sure of my position on things. Heh

Little Omega had 17 teeth extracted a few weeks ago and only has four left now. Her body had already reabsorbed the other 9 (genetic predisposition towards perpetually infected gums). When she came home, we entertained her and Ahsoka with cat tv and youtube videos all evening. They were surprisingly interested in the Sandman bonus episode.

Yeah, there’s something about that episode which caught Lanai’s attention as well. I can’t put my finger on what it might be…

TW: animal death.

We had to have my sweet boy, Lordi, put to sleep yesterday. They’d palpated a mass in his abdomen and he was labouring to breathe. He’d stopped eating a few days ago and the weight just melted off him. It was a kindness, but ye gods it was hard to say goodbye. He was 17 and a half. He died in my arms.

I had a work shift yesterday afternoon, which I tried to call out of as I was a mess. They could only cover me for an hour. An hour. I told them not to bother and I’d come in at the regular time, but I was so resentful. I did the bare minimum, cried a lot, and clocked out exactly on time as a subtle “fuck you.” Normally I leave 10-30 minutes late as I hate leaving things undone, but fuck ‘em. You only pay me until 8, so I’m leaving at 8. My boss wasn’t even there when I got to my shift. Coward.

But my boys are back together again, one way or another. Lordi is going to be put into a silver heart pendant, like the dragonfly one I have for Tan-Tan.

I have to get ready to go to work soon, but I am a very sullen potato right now.

8am Blues

Ooooh boy I feel like a bit of an idiot right now. I couldn’t get the computer at work to boot, or so I thought. I even rang my boss out of bed to let her know. I tried everything, up and to unplugging the whole dratted thing and trying it over again.

Workmate came in and switched on the monitor, which I had forgotten was a touch button and not an analogue one. gah! I did look for a monitor button, but I couldn’t find it - it’s just a small touch plate at the front of the thing.

In my defence I was awake worrying about Lordi last night, and this is the quality my workplace gets if they insist on me working before 8am. 😝

I’m going back to bed now.

CAPTAIN AMERICA *****!

I just watched the first episode of She Hulk: Attorney at Law, and I really enjoyed it. I laughed out loud a lot. It’s a touch cheesy, especially in the last courtroom scene (I really hope they explain where that character came from in the next few episodes), but this is going to be a show I watch more than once, I suspect.

Tatiana Maslany is excellent, and is it bad that I think she makes Mark Ruffalo look like a lesser actor in comparison? Of course, I am seriously biased as I love Tat, but for me she seems a better actor, though I do like Mark Ruffalo as well.

Some of the CGI is a bit meh, but that’s not going to be a huge detriment to me watching this, I think. I love superhero stories, and I love police/crime/courtroom procedurals, so this is in my wheelhouse.

All in all, I cannot wait until next Thursday and the next episode.

I’m finding it harder and harder to go to work each day. I seem to have semi-convinced myself they think I’m an incompetent dickhead and a danger to the residents. I guess the honeymoon is over.