Whatever floats your boat

Catsitting for a friend. They asked how things were going. Sent them this

“because a 16 year old girl who had her first orgasm whilst getting raped, had to watch her 34 year old rapist go free because she had an orgasm.

because when one of my guy friends told me and some friends he got raped by a woman when he was 12, a “friend” laughed at him and told him he should be happy he got laid that young.

because my 17 year old friend’s parents let her 14 year old brother roam the streets until 12am, but she has to be home by 10.

Because my brothers girlfriend, told the police she was raped and fell pregnant but the rapist didn’t get jail time as she got an abortion and the ‘evidence’ was gone.

because a guy from my old school was raped by another guy, but because he’s gay, they said it wasn’t considered rape.

because a 19 year old lesbian got raped by a guy, and he didn’t go to prison because he said “he only tried to turn her straight so she would be accepted by her parents”.

because in some cultures, girls (and boys, of course) still get thrown out of the family because somebody sexually assaulted them.

because they’re still teaching girls to walk faster at night instead of teaching boys that they shouldn’t rape.

Because they’re teaching kids that they’re only male rapists and not female rapists too.

because I have to explain why rape makes me mad.“

If you excuse rape for any reason stay the fuck away from me because you are literally a peice of human refuse.

when u absorb light the outfit is right

this “bon appetit” meme has turned into some sort of bizarre telephone game where each incarnation sounds more and more different than the original. in what way does “bon appetit” sound like “osteoporosis”

i don’t know but it’s cracking me up every time i even think about it

guys guys guys

‘osteoporosis’ is a disease in which bone mass decreases

so they mean fucking

“Bone Atrophy”

Oh, he’s cool. Isn’t he cool? I’m the Doctor and I’m all cool. Oops, I’m wearing sandshoes.

y’all motherfuckers don’t know about my knife shoes

ice skates

blocked

How has nobody settled for me yet I’m a solid 3

the purest tweet

Though, through, and tough don’t rhyme.

Power to the local dreamer

PSA:   Include Jewish people in your lists of minorities that are being negatively impacted by this right now. Antisemitism is real. 

Yes, thank you. White supremacy and Neo-Nazis and the KKK target us too.

bless this new trend of saying ‘yikes’ honestly this is the word i’ve been looking for my whole life. the perfect combination of disinterested, detached, amused, and passive aggressive. five letters that say so much yet are vague enough that you won’t get involved in any drama

Whenever someone makes a typo, I always look at my keyboard to see if the wrong letter is close enough to the correct letter to be justifiable.

no tatinof for me fucking heartbroken

im genuinely here sobbing my eyes out like this is what I’ve wanted so badly ever since tatinof was first announced and now I’ve missed it

Babe, I feel your pain, I missed my chance to go see twenty øne piløts

my mom sent this text when i was late for our breakfast date and it sounds like text posts tht yall make

I really want Hillary to just say “Donald how does a bill get passed” and just wait for his response

We all know how a bill gets passed. There are some great bills. Beautiful bills. Unbelievable bills.

Will you pass bills, they ask me. I will pass some bills. Some of the best bills.

Hillary will never pass bills. She’s never passed any bills. I will pass them. I’ll pass so many bills it’ll be yuge. Hillary passed some of the worst bills. Worst bills ever. Unbelievable. She’s married to Bill Clinton.