Sammy

str8 ppl: push (hetero)sexual innuendos into children’s media since the dawn of time movie/show: shows a gay couple smiling str8 ppl(foaming at the mouth): T͔̪̠̥͆̉̏̏̂H̭͇̬͍͆̋̌̊̓̓I̘ͭN͕̪͔̯͉͒̆̽K͇̰̘̒̍̊͊̉ͅ ͯ̅ͮ̅ͭ̏ͧȎ̞̲̬͓̋F̍̄̆̏ ̜͍̹͕͕̏̓͛͌̚T̟͈̩̞͂̓ͭ̎̌H̱͚̱̩̣̍̉͆̾ͮͤE͕̥̲̺͉ ̩̹ͤͬͬC̪̮̲̰͎̿ͯͧͅH͚̺͎ͦ̐̎͒̇̈Ĩ͎̥L̻͈̯͍̼̄͑̓ͧͤ̐D̙̻̮̰ͩͅR̤̹͙̍̈́̓͌È͉̼͇̹̹̆̈́͛̇̐N̜͑̊͂ͬͧ͗̓

sapphic relationships are valid even if the only people who know about them are those involved.

So, in terms of the discourse surrounding “supporting bi girls in m/f relationships” and the contention that’s caused on both sides of the, well, discourse: 

As a bisexual woman, I can safely say that, first of all, most of the marginalization bi women faces comes directly from our attraction to women. We are never encouraged to date women, and we are told that our attraction to women is fleeting, temporary, promiscuous, attention-seeking, or experimental. Our attraction to women is sexualized - as is the case for all lbpq women - and much of the abuse, harassment, and stereotyping we confront result from our attraction to women. That is absolutely undeniable. So I, frankly, think that the whole “you don’t support bi women if you only support them in f/f relationships!!!11!” type posts aren’t that meaningful in an overall societal context, given the fact that bi women are never, ever supported or encouraged in their love for women. And the violence bi women face in heterosexual relationships stems from their attraction to women - Johnny Depp’s abuse of Amber Heard is an example. He abused her because she is a bisexual woman. He accused her of cheating on him with women. He prevented her from hanging out with her fellow wlw friends for a very specific reason. 

However, if a 15-year-old bi girl is writing a - perhaps poorly worded - post about how bi women in heterosexuals relationships are still bi, she’s not asking lesbians to defend m/f relationships. I don’t think lesbians have any obligation to do so, and in fact, telling lesbians that their “hatred of men is biphobic” is lesbophobic. Lesbians, especially the ones who have trauma directly related to men, have no obligation to care about heterosexual relationships, and they have no obligation to defend men. To expect that out of them is lesbophobic and misogynistic. 

Again, I think that the problem is that intra-community biphobia and lesbophobia still remain prominent, despite strides at lbpq solidarity. We have to recognize that lesbian hypervisibility is not the cause of bisexual invisibility. We have to recognize that bisexual women, whether they are in relationships with women or not, are still bisexual, still wlw, and still belong in lbpq spaces. And we have to recognize that we are not the cause of each other’s oppression - we are united by the fact that we are oppressed because of our attraction to women. While horizontal hostility exists and is a problem, it is not the main problem that plagues our community. Our oppressors are, first and foremost, cishet men, who created heteropatriarchy in the first place. We are not each other’s enemies. 

I also think that bi women are scared off by TERF’s posts. When they see things like “bi women are men-attracted women” or “bi women in heterosexual relationships don’t belong in lbpq spaces” or “bi women aren’t allowed to call themselves gay”, they question themselves and the validity of their attraction to women. Such posts are biphobic and misogynistic, especially because relating bi women to our oppressors - aka cishet men - harms us. Bi women have to be reassured that they are still wlw, just like any wlw who is single or in the closet has to be reassured that she is still as valid as a wlw who is out of the closet and/or in a relationship with a woman. As it is, bi women are blamed for the high rates of intimate partner violence they face. Both heterosexual people and lesbians refuse to date bi women because we’re told that we’re inherently adulterous and promiscuous. And there’s always some unfounded, biased post going around that bi women only ever end up in relationships with men. How anyone can quantify that is beyond me. 

Something else: these posts ignore that all wlw struggle with compulsory heterosexuality, including bi women. It also harms lesbians who once identified as bi women or bi women who once identified as lesbians. A lot of this rhetoric plays into gold star politics as well - the notion that lesbians who once dated men can’t be “true lesbians”. So yes, I definitely agree that lesbians have no obligation to care about m/f relationships. In fact, as a bi woman with a preference for women, I don’t care about m/f relationships all that much either. But the fact remains that 1) bi women in m/f relationships are still bi, still deserve a place in lbpq spaces, and are still marginalized because they’re bi and 2) harassing 18 and under bi women and driving them into hysteria or panic attacks is biphobic and really cruel. 

We all have scars to heal. We all have trauma related to our status as a wlw, especially if we’re women of color or trans or both. We all have wounds, and cynicism, and bitterness, and we’re all scared and wary. But we should base our solidarity primarily on our love for each other and for the simple fact that we all face a homophobic, misogynistic world, and that our romantic and/or sexual love for women is pure and genuine. It is absolutely possible to criticize intra-community lesbophobia and biphobia while at the same time being kind to each other, supporting and encouraging each other, and creating a peaceful, gentle space for each other. We can discuss politics and oppression while also keeping each other safe. 

@cptn10 I 100% agree with your tags, and I’m actually glad you added them to my post because my intention in writing it was partially to address the biphobia and lesbophobia in fandoms like The 100 and others. I’ve noticed that straight women, in an effort to validate their racist and misogynistic m/f ships which involve bi/pan women, will tokenize bi/pan women, condescend to them, make lesbians out to be our oppressors, pit us against lesbians, and think of us as tools that are accessible for heteropatriarchy. That’s why I severely dislike posts that are like “you don’t support bi women if you only support them in f/f relationships” because again, although intra-community biphobia does exist and does need to be addressed, actual societal biphobia is derived from homophobia and bi women/pan women are oppressed because of their attraction to women. Of course I believe that all lbpq women should support each other regardless of the romantic relationships we are currently in, but at the same time, society never encourages bi women to date other women. It’s only in wlw spaces that bi women are truly encouraged to date other women. 

I also pay close attention to who writes those posts, and most of the time those posts come from and are largely reblogged by cishet (white) women. It’s so beyond disgusting to me that straight women are coming up with new ways to 1.) call lesbians evil, 2.) hide their biphobia, 3.) pit lbpq women against each other, and 4.) glorify their already Gross m/f ships. I’m thankful that you understood my intention in writing this post because honestly, I want people to pick up on that too! 

us: lexa carried the show

them: no she didn’t ugly, if anything the delinquents carried the s-

ny times: they’re right, lexa carried the show

them:

President of the CW: “3A was confusing, but it picked back up in the back half of the season”

sis why you quoting a homophobe, the homophobe who pulled ellen off air after she came out yikes

not to start drama again but,,, blarkes calling a f/f canon ship fanservice yet straight up praising any glance bellamy gives clarke, saying ‘it’s where the show has always been going’ in terms of a romantic relationship between them, is heteronormativity at its finest, and i’d go as far as calling it homophobia lmao

Oh, nothing to see here. Just a long list of black characters that have been abused, ignored, sidelined, mistreated, whitewashed, erased or had their importance reduced by both the writers and the fandom. Feel free to add anyone I missed!

these babes deserve to be happy………………….. (speedpaint)

NOBODY SHIPS POUSSOSO HARDER THAN KIMIKO GLENN

reblog if u cried when brook and poussey said “I love you” to each other 

when lesbians can’t display public affection without harassment but lesbian porn is one of the most popular porn genres

When gay men believe female homosexuality is “more accepted” due to this social contradiction

when straight men think their consumption of lesbian porn means they appreciate love between women and support lesbians

when straight women utilise this fetishisation to appeal to straight men

When straight and gay men refer to any inclusion of lesbian relationships in any product as “pandering to dudes” as though the lesbian consumer does not even exist.

Another incredibly forced Hetero relationship is janis from mean girls and the math guy. janis was gay

like/reblog if you liked or using

I feel like DC hired Chris Pine just so Marvel couldn’t have the complete set.

YOUNG! AVENGERS! NETFLIX! SHOW!

NO! ONE! IS! STRAIGHT!

KID! LOKI! CAN! CHOKE!

um vick,,, noah fence but who else is gonna deliver classic one liners such as:

and relevant questions like:

and you’d enjoy seeing this:

kid loki can choke i aint got time for loki apologists gab do you want a block

Shoutout to mixed lesbians.

mixed lesbians who feel conflicted about cultures / ethnicities and or their orientations

mixed lesbians who take pride in their cultures and or their orientation

mixed lesbians who feel excluded from (white) lesbian communities,

mixed lesbians who feel that they dont belong in lesbian communities

mixed lesbians who get a lot of shit from being mixed AND being gay

this post is for you

i keep seeing comments about how “nobody should get hate just because ghostbusters sucks, blame paul feig instead!” etc. 

i know this might come as a surprise to some of you, but 

people aren’t sending racist and misogynistic shit to leslie jones because “ghostbusters sucked”

they’re sending racist misogynistic shit to her because they’re racist and misogynistic

before the film even premiered, misogynists boycotted it  

they’re simply using the movie as a reason to verbally abuse women because they hate women and that’s all it is

*is suspicious of people who loved Soso in season 3 but constantly talked shit about her in season 2*

the romeo&juliet lesbian au you never knew you needed