Starfleet's Most Unwanted

The X-Files - “Medusa”

The trust between Scully and Doggett is called into question...

Doggett plants a flag in the third rail...

Alternate ending:

I've never written a "never again" fic, but god, it is THE episode. it's a little key to scully's whole brain, i'm just so pissed that it's example #1 of her being punished (again and again and again) by the narrative for expressing desire (for sex, for autonomy, for respect). or like. "she only wanted to fuck because she thought she was dying."

No that's not it, that is missing the point.

i know i said it in the original tags, but i'm making some galaxy brained connections here with mulder in other seasons, especially s8, because his worst trait is that he thinks no one else understands his work, not even scully, and so when he comes back in season 8, he thinks she must have fucked things up, done things wrong, or worse--undermined his precious "work," while he was LITERALLY DEAD and she was pregnant with his child.

it's true of the diana angst, too. he trusted diana to do the work "correctly," but ALL the signs, all the most painful conflict between mulder and scully over the years, point to him not actually trusting her with his work, even as he trusts her with his life.

scully is territorial about mulder as a person and a colleague, but mulder is territorial about his work--to the exclusion of scully, except as a helpmate, for a really long time. scully stubbornly refuses to admit that she believes for too long, but mulder stubbornly refuses to recognize her commitment and investment in both him and the work for forever.

he does not pull his head out of his ass until SEASON 11, which is the only thing i'll give the revival credit for. she literally had to leave him before he figured his shit out.

@leiascully's tags I think were relevant to this discussion:

But I have to disagree slightly with these takes.

Mulder was the first to have his body experimented on, his memory tampered with, his life almost gone in the series: S1, Ep 2. Scully saved him then; but it's a testament to his sheer, insane drive for the Truth that he tossed it off his shoulders almost immediately. Then he was tortured with his memory intact in Tunguska/Terma. Then he was torn apart for weeks/months after the events of Requiem.

S8 wasn't about how badly Scully might have messed up; it was about how well the files had done WITHOUT Mulder: an admirable solve rate with two skeptics, less mockery, more leads and more willing helpers. TLG and even Chuck buddied up with Doggett (though not to the same extent); and Skinner was more open and vulnerable to Doggett than Mulder had been. Mulder was thoroughly, completely erased... even Scully was ready to be a parent without him. It takes a while for him to recenter; and even then the show never explored his struggles to that moment and the moments that came after.

Mulder's losses, while not first-hand like Scully's, are no less powerful. Everyone he touches is taken or killed; and it's his sheer force of will that he is able to recover Scully from death so many times. While she underwent horrors and biological traumas, she was able to make peace with them sooner than Mulder who had to live with those memories swirling over and over in his head while also losing and losing and losing. That's a soul-breaking experience, too.

And I believe Never Again was a misunderstanding on Scully's part about Mulder: he doesn't devalue her work-- "I've done all right without you" to Diana, "rigid in a wonderful way" to Det. White, etc.-- but he's never EXPRESSED himself until FTF. That's why that scene was so powerful.

Maybe I'm much more of a Mulder fan? I don't think so-- but those are just my thoughts~.

Yeah, these are good points - I wasn't really thinking about those parts of it. Mulder does put his body on the line, and he does lose things like his memory, but I still think it's framed differently. His reproductive capacity isn't taken from him, and while I hate that the show makes "having a baby" basically synonymous with "womanhood", it is framed as a huge loss for Scully, in a way that the loss of Mulder's memories in "Deep Throat" is not, despite the fact that he's supposed to have a photographic memory etc. etc. The narrative treats their losses as differently significant. For Mulder, I feel like they're framed more as injuries in the line of duty, something expected, but not too difficult to overcome (except dying obviously). For Scully, they're nearly career-ending, or at least, people indicate that they would understand if she wanted to quit. Mulder's own framing of the situation is of himself as Messiah, basically - see Amor Fati and his last temptation, but the whole point is that he's not the center of the universe, except maybe Scully's. Taking the blame for everyone he touches being targeted is part of that complex and adds to his manpain. And yes, he struggles, yes, he's put into physical peril, but often that's because he chose to get into that situation. He went to the Air Force base on purpose, without her. He went to Russia willingly. He chose to step into the light in Bellefleur. Scully didn't choose to be abducted - she was overpowered in her own home. I would also disagree that she made peace with those losses, although we see her making more efforts to do so. I have a lot of thoughts on S8 and Doggett and how a lot of this extra respect TXF is suddenly commanding comes from the fact that Doggett is straight from the command structure people expect, and unlike Mulder, is never feminine-coded (or at least that's the way we read it in the 90s and early aughts), and therefore people are much more willing to work with him. I also think that CC&co wrote it all that way in the hopes that people would like and accept Doggett and the other huge changes to the series in DD's absence. But I won't go into all that. In "Never Again" and in "Chinga", he's calling all the time to check up on her - not to check in with her. He is making sure she's covered all the bases, because he believes that he's the One Who Does This. And yes, he's charmed when she recites a litany of supernatural stuff to him in "Chinga", but he's still putting her through her paces, so to speak. His insistence that he's part of essential to the work in a way that he doesn't always let her be a part of is painful to her in a way that he often disregards, as he does in "Never Again". And when he's returned and back from the dead, the way that he reacts to seeing that she was "okay" without him, even though if he talked to her about it, he would clearly see that she wasn't, is to cut her out again. If he wasn't the Chosen One, he will choose to erase himself from the narrative, the way he feels she's already done, in a parallel to the way he feels in "Never Again" when he realizes that Scully has made a quick and intimate connection with another man, when he feels that their own unspoken intimacy was so precious and hard-won (and it was, but it didn't have to be) and maybe he feels that, like Diana, it's a sign that Scully would betray him. I have a lot to say that I regret trying to write in the tiny reblog box, but my main point is: it isn't about being a Mulder fan or a Scully fan, it's about seeing the hurt and the wrong and the effort on both sides of this relationship.

I sent off an ask already so I won't repeat those points here; but I had a thought an came back:

I think it's easy to grade Scully's traumas as "worse" than Mulder's because of the way they express trauma; but more to the point, Scully is given closure for hers to a degree that Mulder isn't:

Her father died with their relationship broken; but he was able to speak to her while she was in her coma (vs. Mulder who had a healing conversation with his dead father in The Blessing Way BEFORE he was gut punched by his dad's Nazi alliances past and other Consortium activities.)

While Melissa's killer was never brought to justice, he was caught and Scully was able to prove to herself she wasn't consumed by vengeance. She remembered her sister fondly in S5, was led by her ghost, and was able to find her daughter.

Emily was found, and Scully was given the agency to choose what was best for her daughter. Her fertility was taken, but Mulder recovered her ova and she chose to ask him to do a round of IVF later. The IVF failed, but she confronted her rigid scientific beliefs in Biogenesis/The Sixth Extinction/Amor Fati and was (possibly) healed by the spaceship in Africa (or CSM rebooted her in En Ami, which is a less favorable option but would at least be one good outcome from that awful trip she chose to make.)

Her son? ...That's the fumble; but he's alive and had a good childhood? She can hold onto that.

Scully's traumas were painful and would last the rest of her life; but there were good moments she could draw from them that Mulder couldn't (until Closure for Samantha, at least.)

Mulder, meanwhile, wasn't affected by torture or rape (physical or mental) like Scully was as that's not his character (thanks for pointing that out, I 100% agree!) His was having to SIT, unable to help or stop trauma or tragedy from occurring, and having to listen to the horror stories of his loved ones as they related or relived those tragedies he couldn't prevent. AND we see him collapse and give up continually when CSM or some other malevolent actor (or the events of S8) convinces him that he's useless. The "sacrificial lamb" is not a part of Mulder's nature-- it's a construction CSM projects onto his 'son.' Mulder is a man who doesn't look over his shoulder, not someone who nails himself to a cross. Righteous rage and determination, not guilt and self-sacrifice, drives him (his speech in Fallen Angel, for instance. He fell apart over Samantha in Sein und Zeit/Closure not because what happened to her was all his fault-- it was because he couldn't save her all those torturous years.)

Perhaps that's my bent as well psychologically: bodily horrors and restraint of my autonomy would pale in comparison to being prevented from helping those I love or care about. And perhaps that's a bias towards Mulder. But I believe both are equally terrible; but that Mulder's recovery and readjustment took longer than Scully's because Scully was able to have normalcy longer in her life than Mulder. He is a man without a "normalcy" switch to flick on; and Scully recognizes her limitations (though she doesn't admit to them, and she will go to therapy for them) while Mulder crashes on ahead, reopening his festering wounds over and over.

Perhaps that's why I never saw Scully as the one with more wounds: hers were fresh and overwhelming; but as magnanimously as CC took away he gave back (though not in the best written ways.)

Thank you for so perfectly putting into words my feelings about this👆🏻👆🏻👆🏻 couldn’t have said it better myself

"(Side note: I love the continuity of Mulder being at his absolute most obnoxious during Scully-centric episodes. It’s such a delicious note to exasperate how she’s feeling.)"

Perfect. And--

"He’ll recite some theory that no one else will understand, she’ll counter with the rationalism that he needs to prove it. In the end, she will always be wrong.""

Scully learns in All Things the lesson that Melissa tried to teach her before she joined the FBI: "There is no right or wrong. Life's just a path-- you follow your heart, and it'll take you where you need to go." She realizes it's not about fathers punishing her for making the right/wrong choice; it's about herself not making peace with the choices she's picked because she deems herself as unworthy (a trait that is wholly Scully and not-at-all Mulder, hot take.) Mulder has never judged her, only bristled at being locked out of her life and mind and angered she would leave him by preemptively judging him for her own insecurities ("You wanna tell yourself 'that' so you can quit with a clear conscience you can but you're wrong.")

(Which works out splendidly; because Mulder has never seen life as "right" or wrong", only as "true" or "false." It's why he's so shocked at her dismay in FTF, why he forgives his betrayers over and over, why he empathizes with crooks and thieves who've had circumstances or tragedies thieve their own lives.)

I've never written a "never again" fic, but god, it is THE episode. it's a little key to scully's whole brain, i'm just so pissed that it's example #1 of her being punished (again and again and again) by the narrative for expressing desire (for sex, for autonomy, for respect). or like. "she only wanted to fuck because she thought she was dying."

No that's not it, that is missing the point.

i know i said it in the original tags, but i'm making some galaxy brained connections here with mulder in other seasons, especially s8, because his worst trait is that he thinks no one else understands his work, not even scully, and so when he comes back in season 8, he thinks she must have fucked things up, done things wrong, or worse--undermined his precious "work," while he was LITERALLY DEAD and she was pregnant with his child.

it's true of the diana angst, too. he trusted diana to do the work "correctly," but ALL the signs, all the most painful conflict between mulder and scully over the years, point to him not actually trusting her with his work, even as he trusts her with his life.

scully is territorial about mulder as a person and a colleague, but mulder is territorial about his work--to the exclusion of scully, except as a helpmate, for a really long time. scully stubbornly refuses to admit that she believes for too long, but mulder stubbornly refuses to recognize her commitment and investment in both him and the work for forever.

he does not pull his head out of his ass until SEASON 11, which is the only thing i'll give the revival credit for. she literally had to leave him before he figured his shit out.

@leiascully's tags I think were relevant to this discussion:

But I have to disagree slightly with these takes.

Mulder was the first to have his body experimented on, his memory tampered with, his life almost gone in the series: S1, Ep 2. Scully saved him then; but it's a testament to his sheer, insane drive for the Truth that he tossed it off his shoulders almost immediately. Then he was tortured with his memory intact in Tunguska/Terma. Then he was torn apart for weeks/months after the events of Requiem.

S8 wasn't about how badly Scully might have messed up; it was about how well the files had done WITHOUT Mulder: an admirable solve rate with two skeptics, less mockery, more leads and more willing helpers. TLG and even Chuck buddied up with Doggett (though not to the same extent); and Skinner was more open and vulnerable to Doggett than Mulder had been. Mulder was thoroughly, completely erased... even Scully was ready to be a parent without him. It takes a while for him to recenter; and even then the show never explored his struggles to that moment and the moments that came after.

Mulder's losses, while not first-hand like Scully's, are no less powerful. Everyone he touches is taken or killed; and it's his sheer force of will that he is able to recover Scully from death so many times. While she underwent horrors and biological traumas, she was able to make peace with them sooner than Mulder who had to live with those memories swirling over and over in his head while also losing and losing and losing. That's a soul-breaking experience, too.

And I believe Never Again was a misunderstanding on Scully's part about Mulder: he doesn't devalue her work-- "I've done all right without you" to Diana, "rigid in a wonderful way" to Det. White, etc.-- but he's never EXPRESSED himself until FTF. That's why that scene was so powerful.

Maybe I'm much more of a Mulder fan? I don't think so-- but those are just my thoughts~.

chimera mulder is so cute i understand why that woman wanted to cook him breakfast in the countryside

AND she gave him fresh orange juice.

A domestic goddess.

(Scully probably finished her shift, was bugged into waiting for Mulder at his place, and was confronted with his spoiled orange juice and a frozen dinner.)

this is one of my favorite english words. and what i aim to become.

@waiting-for-the-day's tags are valid--

but also

Arcadia Mulder

and

Chimera Mulder (who is also smirking at Scully's misfortune)

(Chimera really proves he feels loved and pampered in a normal domestic setting... which is sad, but also endearing.)

I'm thinking about Mulder burrowing into three layers of Arcadia pillows (one for his head, one for the back of his neck and shoulders, and one for the small of his back-- how domesticated), trying to look enticing so Scully won't kick him out.

Meanwhile, Mulder's fullproof plan is foiled once the camera zooms out and we see what Scully sees, The Bigger Picture:

While he is adorable in his cute, socked feet (which he kept on despite being in California after a hot run... because it ups his adorable, "don't kick me out" factor), Mulder left a dirty, lace-snarled shoe dangling off the corner of the bed while dumping HIS jacket over onto SCULLY's side of the bed and lying diagonally into her zone, consuming more of her space.

(Moreover, he quips about "Laura" and "we're married now"-- so it's not a Mulder proposition so much as a Mulder poke.)

And when Scully gives him the boot, what does Mulder do? Get up from his side and take his shoe and jacket like a reasonable person?

No. He toddlers over the bed in a purposefully awkward, gynmantics-for-middle-aged-unreasonable-people way,

dumping the pretense by grabbing the only pillow he cared about

The X-Files - “Synchrony”

Alternate line: Mulder never forgot Scully’s graduate thesis...

Jason Nichols confronts his future self...

Scully is left “pondering questions she hasn’t pondered in over a decade...”

they make me insane i feel ill. he is so big and she is so small. oh god

Finding out that in the earlier version of “TNG: Aquiel” where the dog hadn’t been taken over by the alien killer, Geordi was going to keep the dog for the rest of the show!

(From Memory Alpha)

But… but… Geordi should have dog.

A boy deserved, but a boy did not get >:(

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: The X-Files Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Fox Mulder/Dana Scully, Dana Scully & Margaret Scully Characters: Margaret Scully, Diana Fowley Additional Tags: Season/Series 06, Chance Meetings, Diana tries to mark her territory and fails, Maggie is the best mom ever, MSR will always win Summary:

In which a chance meeting leads to Maggie turning the tables on Diana.

The X-Files - “Release”

Deleted scene:

Trimmed lines as Scully meets Barbara Doggett...

Doggett’s tearful goodbye...