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Professional Simp

@aftonsfatnuts

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Third round of Lore Olympus Redesigns!

This time, featuring Demeter! Only thing I really kept from her old design was the green skin, but I desaturated it and added some darker patches on her skin for a bit more variety. Also changed her hair to a lighter yellow, (representing the color of barley), as the vibrant purple was a baffling choice to me. Overall, I'm fairly happy with how she turned out!

Bonus drawing of a younger Demeter and Persephone:

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‘bread is bad for you’ ‘rice is bad for you’ sorry im not subscribing to the idea that staple grains that have been integral to cultures for centuries are evil. i love you carbs

You guys do know you're supposed to reblog things, right

"well i like this post but i'm worried my followers might not" fuck your followers. The entire point of tumblr is to cause irreparable psychic damage to your followers. We are locked in mortal combat on the astral plane. You must win. You Must Win. You Must Destroy Them.

i am going to demolish my followers on the battleground of rock-paper-scissors

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You better be rebloging you little shits

Too fucking bad

that's what sideblogs are for. If you know your followers won't appreciate horniness, make a blog just for the horniness.

No. Go horny on main. I’d they can’t handle you at your boobies they don’t deserve you at your shitposts.

the way they spelled boobs you know they’re a tik tok refugee

sir we’re allowed to say boobs here

Review of a butterfly farm… 🦋

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I interned at a place w butterflies and had to tell a mom to please stop offering the “snacks” on the pedestals to her kids and we had to give a speech to all the ppl who entered which I added lines to daily. Including the infamous “butterflies like fruit that’s a little older than what we eat, so the fruit is just for them! Please don’t eat it!” And “please please please please please don’t come in here if you’re afraid of butterflies.” It was the closest thing to hell I’ve ever experienced

*going to a butterfly farm* there better not be any fuckin butterflies in here

*going to a butterfly farm* this will surely take my mind off the life-ruining curse that a witch placed upon me that forces me to eat any fruit i see no matter what

I want the writer’s strike to last until they get everything they demand and more. I want the SAG strike to last until AI is entirely forbidden across the board in the entire industry. I want CGI artists to unionize and strike. I want animators to strike. I want composers and directors and designers and VAs and techies and producers and stage hands and game devs and programmers and recording artists to strike.

I want every aspect of the entertainment industry brought to a grinding halt for months or even years to take it from the corps and put it back in the hands of the artists.

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like to charge reblog to cast

conducting a new experiment called maintaining a normal conversation. i'll let you know how it goes

brought up the eel sex discovery again :/

speaking of: did you guys know that the mystery of eel breeding has finally been discovered??

the reproduction of eels has been a mystery since ancient fucking greece and they JUST discovered how they do it. scientists followed european eels that migrated thousands of kilometers from freshwater streams and rivers to the Sargasso sea (which is by north america) where the females released millions of eggs into the water and the males fertalized them and then the eels just died. because appearantly thats the end of their lifespan.

its insane. its bonkers. ALL european and american eels reproduce IN THE SAME PLACE. european eels swim across the north atlantic ocean just to reproduce. these eels live for about 20 years and go through multiple complex life stages but they begin and end their lives in the same place, despite how far they travel. and god dont get me started on other species of eels-

uh so i never do this but maui is quite literally on fire and there isn't nearly enough care or consideration for. you know. Native Hawaiians who live here being displaced and the land (and cultural relevance) that's being eaten up by the fire. so if ya'll wanna help, here's some links:

center for native hawaiian advancement: https://www.memberplanet.com/campaign/cnhamembers/kakoomaui

please reblog and spread the word if you can't donate.

Do Not Let HR do this to you. It is not illegal to talk about wages in the work place. I did and got a 12% raise!

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True info. Now let me add something: The power of documentation. (I was a long time steward in a nurses union.)

Remember: The "'E" in email stands for evidence.

That cuts both ways. Be careful what you put into an email. It never really goes away and can be used against you.

But can also be a powerful tool for workplace fairness.

Case 1: Your supervisor asks you to do something you know is either illegal or against company policy. A verbal request. If things go wrong, you can count on them denying that they ever told you to do that. You go back to your desk, or wherever and you send them an email: "I just want to make sure that I understood correctly that you want me to do xxxxx" Quite often, once they see it in writing, they will change their mind about having you do it. If not, you have documentation.

Case 2: You have a schedule you like, you've had that schedule for a while, it works for you. Your supervisor comes to you and says "We're really short-handed now and I need you to change your schedule just for a month until we can get someone else hired. It's just temporary and you can have your old schedule back after a month." A month goes by and they forget entirely that they made that promise to you. So, once again, when they make the initial request, you send them an email "I'm happy to help out temporarily, but just want to make sure I understand correctly that I will get my old schedule back after a month as you promised." Documentation.

[Image ID: Text reading: In the middle of a busy clinic at our practice, I got pulled in by my manager to speak to HR, who must have made a special trip because she lives several states away, and told I was being 'investigated' for discussing wages with my other employees. She told me it was against company policy to discuss wages.

Me; That's illegal.

Them: (start italics) three slow, long seconds of staring at me blankly (end italics) Uh...

Me: That's an illegal policy to have. The right to discuss wages is a right protected by the National Labor Relations board. I used to be in a union. I know this.

HR: Oh, this is news to me! I have been working HR for 18 years and I never knew that. Haha. Well try not do do it anyway, it makes people upset, haha.

Me: people are entitled to their opinions about what their work is worth. Bye.

I then left, and sent her several texts and emails saying I would like a copy of their company policy to see where this wage discussion policy was kept. She quickly called me back in to her office.

HR: You know what, there is no policy like that in the handbook! I double check. Sorry about the confusion, my apologies.

Me: You still haven't given me the paper saying that we had this discussion. I am going to need some protection against retaliation.

HR: Oh haha yes here you go.

I just received a paper with legal letterhead and an apology saying there was no verbal warning or write up. Don't even take their shit you guys. Keep talking about wages. Know your worth. /End ID]

At one of my old (shit) jobs my boss would continually come have these verbal discussions with me and would never put anything in writing so I took to summarizing every discussion we had in email. Like “just to confirm that you asked me to do X by Y date and you understand that means I won’t be able to complete the previous task you gave me until Z date - 2 weeks later than originally scheduled - because you want me to prioritize this new project.

The woman would then storm back into my office screaming at me for putting the discussion in writing and arguing about pushing back the other project or whatever. At which point I would summarize that conversation in email as well. Which would bring her storming back in, rinse and repeat ad nauseum.

Anyway I cannot imagine how badly that job would have gone if I hadn’t put all her wildly unreasonable demands in writing. Bitch still hated me but she could never hang me for “missing deadlines” because I always had in writing that she’d pushed the project back because she wanted something else done first.

Paper your asses babes. Do not let them get away with shit. If they won’t put what they’re asking you to do in writing then write it up yourself and email it to them.

It *is* a problem that charismatic species are often focused on for conservation at the expense of less charismatic but important species, but threatened species that are the subject of a lot of public outreach and education are also typically strategically selected.

I suspect that monarch butterflies are an example of this. Milkweed is a highly valuable plant for pollinators and a host plant for like. 400+ insect species. Getting people to plant it to save monarchs is funny because you're essentially finessing people into saving a ton of other insects that they wouldn't ordinarily care about

"Save the bees" isn't misguided, it's just the version of the truth you would tell a 5 year old. If a small kid asks about the colors of the rainbow you don't start explaining that visible light has wavelengths of 400-700 nanometers

A lot of people don't even know that there are different types of bees. things like planting native flowers, stopping using insecticides, etc, benefit all bees and all insects generally

ALSO

it's actually a GOOD thing to have lots of conservation efforts focusing on "Charismatic megafauna," especially apex predators

Because big animals like tigers need a LOT of space

So creating a preserve to save tigers...saves thousands of other species, because the tigers need miles and miles of habitat to live on, and that habitat needs to be healthy to support the tigers

They're called "umbrella species" and they're a great thing.

This is exactly why pandas are great for conservation, and whining about them is myopic childish foot-stamping*. An adult panda needs a 2km square range. A viable population needs many of those joined together into a very big protected area. And if you have that, you also have the habitat for hundreds of thousands if not millions of invertebrate species that are never in their wildest dreams going to get that level of protection afforded to them otherwise

*Also pandas don't stop having intrinsic value just because you personally decide they're 'overhyped' or 'don't contribute much to the ecosystem'. Ethically, that is a species that deserves to exist regardless of how 'useful' it is (side note, absolutely FUCK that capitalist bullshit), and also, if humans are why it's going extinct, it's on humans to bring it back. And if they aren't readily breeding in captivity, the question to ask is 'What aren't we providing in their environment that they need?'**, not the whiny temper tantrum of 'But why won't they meet us halfway? They won't help themselves! I am very smart.'

**It's a tall tree to climb. This is emerging research but it looks like a vital part of panda mate selection is watching a male climb a tree to show off his tree climbing genes. We have not been including these in panda enclosures, so the females have been looking at these males sitting around and going 'Tch. Pathetic.'

"objectively physically attractive but in possession of negative rizz" is one of my favorite character concepts. i think it's so great when there's an absurdly hot person who's just a complete fucking loser. the mood is unsalvageable the moment they open their mouth kind of deal. you get no bitches because you're so sucks.

dear non-spanish speakers writing spiderverse fanfiction (or anything with spanglish),

in spanglish you don’t switch by word, you switch by phrase.

it’s not:

“[first part of the sentence in english], [second part of the sentence in english], mi amor.”

“[full english sentence], querida.”

it’s:

“[first part of the sentence in english], [segunda parte de la frase en español], mi amor.”

-

also miles is boricua, miguel is mexican. they have two different accents and use different vocabulary for certain words.

also miles is “nyourican” - a puerto rican native to new york - while his mom is directly from the island, so there are differences there, too, because his spanish is more influence by new york english. 

here’s some good references that aren’t google translate (which usually pulls from spain, a country that speaks vastly differently from latin america)

here have some random videos on different slang/spanish accents:

-

in spanish most words are gendered, so most feminine words end in a and masculine/gender neutral words end in o. adding ito/ita makes something cuter, smaller and more affectionate.

spanish nicknames that aren’t “mi amor

  • “querido/a” - darling
  • “cariño” - dear (always masculine regardless, of who its being said to)
  • “mi princesa/príncipe” - my prince/princess
  • “mi rey/reina” - my king/queen
  • “papí/mamí” - can be used in any way; romantic, sexual, familial for one’s parent or child, or just platonically
  • “tesoro” - treasure

also spanish is a language that uses adjectives as terms of affection both cute ones and ones that might sound insensitive in english

  • gordo (fat), flaco (skinny), negro (black), blanco (white), linda (pretty), bella (beautiful), morena (brown skin), etc.

and like most languages that are not english, spanish has multiple ways of saying i love you.

  • te amo” - romantic
  • te quiero” - familial, platonic (although there’s nothing wrong with using it romantically)

see also:

  • te adoro - i adore you
  • te deseo - i want you
  • te necesito - i need you

 and, of course, they can vary regionally too.

please use this because i have read a lot of really well written things that take me out of it because the use of spanglish is terrible. don’t just go on your presumptions that spanish/spanglish works in the same way that english does.

buena suerte, gringos.

- signed your friendly neighborhood afro-latina

saving for later 🤭