Me n the girls sitting upon the shattered corpse of a false god

while kissing eachother

I hate calling in sick I don't want to inform anyone about my abnormal bowel movements

I love it. I call them up and say hey bossman I'm camped out on the shitter today yeehaw

you are so beautiful in every way

We will get married on a windswept cliff and the dinner will be easily digestible

We need to recreate Fleetwood Mac in a lab. I don't care how unethical it will be. We need to get a bunch of strung out artistically minded left-brain bitches together who can make dope music, give them the finest buffet of drugs available, make them fuck each other, pair them off, then break them up one by one while forcing them to stay in the band. You've heard of the Russian sleep experiment now get ready for the Rumours Part 2 experiment.

2023 Stevie Nicks starts a podcast called My Ex My Ex & Me where they play passive-aggressive D&D campaigns loaded with snipes at each other

Do you like vintage scientific illustrations?

Do you like not spending huge amounts of money on them?

This website has a huge collection of high quality vintage illustrations that you can download FOR FREE

They got pretty much everything!! Vintage maps, mushrooms, flowers, trees, bugs, birds, corals, fish, palm trees, feathers, tropical fruits, you name it!!

They even got some works of my dude Ernst Haeckel on there!!!!

I could go on and on but I suggest you check it out yourself. Personally, I will be covering my entire apartment with these once copyshops are open again. But even if you don’t want to do that, just browsing all these beautiful illustrations is a great way to spend your time. 

Have fun and stay save!

Neat! I’m currently printing holiday cards with the circular poinsettia cuts from this set!

*wakes from coma* Fuck *walks to the nearest tree and starts punching it*

Minecraft respawn

outfit idea

This

over this

so that “i have no tits” can be read through the hole

It doesn’t matter what a woman wears. They’ll just talk on and on about their favorite soap operas and drama with their friends.

A smart man will always look for the cool, smooth, plastic hands of a robot to satisfy his needs.

WH

#Barbie (2023)

i had a thought today like man, my ancestors would probably not approve very much of me being such an extravagant glutton, but then i was like wtf are u kidding. those dumbasses didn’t live on a fuckin potato ass diet for no minimalism. they didn’t do what they did, whatever the fuck it was, for me NOT to fucking eat my bodyweight in sashimi!!! they would be fucking ecstatic to see me making the most of my opportunities for plenty. they would be fucking cheering me on. every lice-covered cossack and illiterate serf and three-toothed yak herder in my lineage is with me in this restaurant, and they are going absolutely apeshit watching me try to fit an entire samosa in my mouth

i love this idea that the ancestors are following modern people around like a rappers yes-man as we eat food #‘fucking superb you funky little descendant’

me, standing in front of the burger king counter like the blithering hunger gibbon i am: i’ll have… uhhh… double whopper with fries. thank you. large please

the 500 mongolian tatar and polish jew ghosts behind me: [ERUPT INTO WILD SCREAMING AND HIGH FIVES] 

can you believe there is a painting of cossacks going hogwild out there that fits this situation perfectly

I’m of the opinion they’d actually be really disgusted with us and they they’d see us as lazy, pathetic, and worthless.

Why? They fought their entire lives simply to survive. To see their descendants living in a degree of luxury that they never even conceived of? To see their descendants able to eat enough to get fat? (Being plump was considered highly desirable in many cultures, as it was a mark that you didn’t have to do backbreaking labor and had a surplus of food!)

They’d be thrilled for us. 

Literally my Gandmothers lived through the depression and they literally could not cram enough food into thier children and grandchildren.  I didn’t get a lot of time with my grandpa but one of the things I remember was going out to a variety of restaurants in CA and telling me about “It’s so nice thay you can eat Indian/Fresh Seafood/Italian etc.  We never had this growing up so I’m glad you get to expirience this.”

My own mother is thrilled that I can get my food pesticide-free, sustainably raised, fair trade and delivered to my door on days when I can’t drive. It’s a hell of a lot safer amd better for the world than when she was growing up.

If my own parents and grandparents are thrilled for me to enjoy the riches of civilization my ancestors that survived the potato blight or farther back? I live like a GOD and that’s rad as fuck!

Personally, I’m already enjoying watching my adopted neices and nephews living in the riches of an allergen-and-intolerance-aware era.  I spent so much of my childhood ill because we didn’t know I had bad reactions to many kinds of vegetables. My Nephew? Never.  It’s terrific watching him go hog on his dinner then running off to play instead of spending an hour with stomach cramps.  You devour you zoodles you funky lil man.

don’t leave out the best part

I’ve never seen the second photo before.

Mosaic from the impluvium of the House of Gometric Mosaics, Pompeii

Roman, 1st century AD

i drink this every night

this is a $79 cocktail at a bar in nyc

this is what they were drinking in the lighthouse

Doge is 17 and peacefully enjoying cherry blossoms with her beloved family, she would not hurt a fly, she would not lie to us, she would not let Elon Musk pet her

it’s officially spring which means porridge weather is over and hozier is finally done making his oatmeal and can now again release MUSIC 

for those of you who are ignorant of hozier’s hibernation habits

everyone who tags this post with an ominous phrase like ‘it’s time’ and then also adds ‘oatmeal’ is valid

once again oat season is over and springtime is upon us which only means one thing = new hozier music

@rembrandtswife would you care to comment?

what a dandy crown 🌼🌻

Anybody know how to do this? Im dumb an I dont know how

Yeah can someone tell me how to make flower crowns I’ve always wanted to learn how

Oh I would love to make flower crowns and give them to all of my friends for pride month, if someone could tell me how!

Have it, sweet people. I love you.

Btw, if you have questions tell me uwu

YOU ARE AN ANGEL THANK YOU

on this lovely trans day of visibility we were talking to some of our preschoolers about gender. one asked "why are you not a girl?" and I answered "because when I looked inside myself and said 'you are a girl' I did not feel happy, but when I said 'actually you are a person' I did feel happy"

then another student asked "why are you not a hot dog?" and that was a much harder question to answer