I am so tired. So tired of just being me.
I know people of my generation suffer from procrastination the most. It is it's own culture at this point. It is sad that memes and funny content almost make people believe that since so many people suffer from it, it's no longer a problem. I am so tired of being with people who don't try to help me through this and just brush it off with "but you get the result at the end of the day right? So what's the problem anyways!"
You. Don't. Fucking. Get. It
I want to work hard on my work. I want to know more about the world. I want time to indulge in my passions. I wanna read. I wanna write. I wanna dance. I wanna watch movies. I want to do things other than panic about my work and letting myself down all the fucking time.
I NEED HELP.
Just because I get work done at the end of the day doesn't mean I am fine with this.
I know I did this to myself. No need to tell me that everytime I even try to open up about this. I FUCKING KNOW. I am the one who decided to leave things till the last moment because I am so fucking overwhelmed all the time. I know.
It makes me so fucking sad when other adults don't help me with this and give bullshit advice of "start your work earlier". If I could I would, but it's hard for me because for almost 15 years I didn't. I am just a shell of who I could be, and being constantly aware of it makes me feel like a loser all the time.
I am so tired. I don't even find myself worthy of things I do get at the end of the days.
I wish I didn't have to deal with this honestly.
