i can’t decide if this is the single coolest girl in the world for making danger her middle name or the silliest for not seeing the raw power of “millipede danger” which is the greatest name i have ever heard
Anonymous asked:
I don’t know anything about Pikmin but the art style is so cute. I just want a pikmin plush to hold in my two hands and squeeze with all my heart is that so bad?
No you are completely right. They are cute. They are so cute and should be hugged and protected do not look up the game mechanics. Do not look up the Pikmin game mechanics the Pikmin are always safe and happy
Okay hard disagree it is NOT always your fault these guys have 4 cells in their entire body and NONE of them are a brain cell I have lost 30 pikmin in 1 to walking over a bridge because they just ran straight into the water. I have lost them to them just walking under the stairs. They do not have a survival instinct in 1. They have whatever the OPPOSITE of a survival instinct is. They will readily violate physics just to die.
Pikmin love to die violent deaths it's like enrichment to them 🤗
that poll going around asking how often you smoke weed and almost a third of ppl saying they’ve never smoked before, and that poll that revealed that over a third of tumblr users have never kissed anyone before, proves to me that stoners who have gay sex are a small but imperative part of the tumblr ecosystem. Keystone species
Just had a dream that a novel exists which is written from the POV of an old man dying in the 1920s in the form of diary entries and bit by bit it's revealed it's actually a closeted trans woman who was out during her youth and forced to recloset and now I desperately want to read it
The narrator was like, referring to a girl called Sarah in all the writings, and at the start it's super unclear who Sarah actually is and it's speculated by the people around that she may be a lover from the narrator's youth, until it's noted that Sarah had heterochromia and that's the defining trait of the narrator
Oh also Sarah did actually have a lover. They were T4T and lived in a little cottage by a lake until he was drowned in it and Sarah couldn't make ends meet anymore and had to recloset
Okay a bunch of people have told me to write the thing now so I've decided if this post gets 30K I'm turning the thing into an epistolary novel.
The Finals
Shauna Sadecki née Shipman and Jackie Taylor (Yellowjackets)
VS
Chell and Genetic Lifeform and Disc Operating System (Portal)
You all get the picture by now, I imagine.
there’s no shame in needing to pause a physical activity to go get a glass of water. yes, this includes fucking
actually. happy disability pride month to any of my fellow disabled people who fuck different. who need to take sex slowly. who need to use an inhaler during sex. who need a wrist massage before or after sex. you’re epic, and you deserve to have your body rocked this disability pride month
Anonymous asked:
WIBTA for sabotaging my boyfriend's hookup with his girlfriend by filling his sex playlist with DJ Crazytimes
I (28NB, they/he) have known my boyfriend (call him C, 29M, he/him) for some 15ish years now. As long as I've known him, he has been on and off again with his girlfriend (call him T, 29NB, he/him). Respectfully, and with love, C and T are two of the worst and most annoying people I know. I want to marry them both specifically so that I can study them under a microscope like a parasitic virus.
Technically they're monogamous, but they're both hooking up with other people (myself included), usually the same people, because they have the same taste in lovers (bad). I have suggested that they give actual polyamory a try, and they reject the idea wholeheartedly. I think they get off on their dynamic, and far be it from me to try more than the bare minimum to dissuade them from it.
A couple months back, they got into a fight and broke up (again) because T (who was unemployed at the time) stole $50 from C (who works at GameStop) so that he could pay for a tank of gas (using C's car) to go hook up with another guy a couple states over. C was not upset that T was hooking up with another guy (because he was Also hooking up with that guy and knew he would not have a leg to stand on), but because of the stolen money + car.
C and I currently live together, because you can't afford an apartment on a GameStop salary, and also, like I said, he's my boyfriend. I'm making carnitas tacos next Friday, and T is coming over, because despite everything, he has nothing else to do on a Friday night. I know that C and T are going to get into a huge fight, and I know that it's probably either going to end with them getting back together out of spite or with someone's vehicle getting keyed--I'm betting on both.
Here's where I think I might be the asshole. I would really like to get inbetween them. Not in a "I don't want you to date each other" kind of way, but in a "holy shit you are both so insufferable i would like to get in on that" kind of way. I currently have my thing with C, and I've hooked up with T once in the past, but I would really like to make it official with him as well.
My plan is as follows: C and T are going to be in the same space again next Friday. They're going to fight, then hook up, then get back together again. C is one of those cybersexual "i built my own computer and run it on Linux" people, which is to say, he thinks tiktok and youtube are evil, and he he thinks spotify premium is supporting megacorporations. So, his sex playlist for T (we do not have our own sex playlist) is just an actual folder of mp3 files.
While C is at work, I'm going to log into his computer and change several of those mp3 files to DJ Crazytimes' Planet of the Bass, which I play often, and he is frequently annoyed by. My hope is that he'll realize it was me, he'll come and yell at me for ruining their hookup, T will take my side to piss him off, and the tension will get to the point where they let me join their hookup, and I can ask to date both of them after that.
To be clear, I recognize that I'm also Incredibly Toxic for enabling and encouraging this behavior. That said, I feel like I'm justified in this scenario considering C and T are both Also toxic, and furthermore, it is a known fact that I'm dating C right now, so for them to hook up, C would technically be cheating on me. I asked C's sister (a childhood friend of mine) for her take on whether it would be funny or just annoying, and she just told me that we all deserve each other, so I think I should be good. Am I being uniquely shitty here?
Hi! I'm OP! A lot of folks in the replies were asking for an update to this and, well, this actually already happened, so!
We did not end up getting as far as the DJ crazytimes playlist. This is because
- T ended up proposing before carnitas night came around
- C said yes for some reason
- T and I did end up hooking up again, I asked if we could all date and he said he didn't think C would like it, but said that he's into it if I'm down--so, I'm dating both of them now, which I guess makes us a throuple? C doesn't know we're a throuple yet but I think it'll be fine
- They actually had a courthouse wedding on Thursday
Some additional info!
- Apparently C's sister thought I was joking! I was not joking. So when she found out that I'm actually chill being part of all of this she got a little weird about it
- She did not go to the wedding (C was very sad about this, T was fine bc he and C hate each other)
- C found out about the playlist thing before I intended for him to, bc apparently he doesn't JUST use that playlist for sex (it's also his bathtime playlist). He was pretty annoyed because he had to remake the playlist, but it wasn't, like, a relationship ending or creating thing. Sorry for the anticlimax there!
I've also got my askbox open if anyone has any questions that don't just amount to "go to therapy"! <3
Look, I'm a simple creature. I don't ask for much. Dopamine, serotonin, makeouts, an unhingeable jaw, retractile claws, nachos, and the ability to summon black flames to devour my enemies. That's all. You know. Girlie stuff.
...are there better ways to ask if I'm queer? Possibly. But none so direct.
Did you guys know that the most recent version of sharks have fins that are kinda leg like and they like to walk up onto land?
no way i must have missed an update!
The Epaulette shark is only about 9 million years old as a species, making it the most recent branch in the shark family. And it is slowly but surely evolving into a land animal
You know what to do boys
Anonymous asked:
WIBTA for sabotaging my boyfriend's hookup with his girlfriend by filling his sex playlist with DJ Crazytimes
I (28NB, they/he) have known my boyfriend (call him C, 29M, he/him) for some 15ish years now. As long as I've known him, he has been on and off again with his girlfriend (call him T, 29NB, he/him). Respectfully, and with love, C and T are two of the worst and most annoying people I know. I want to marry them both specifically so that I can study them under a microscope like a parasitic virus.
Technically they're monogamous, but they're both hooking up with other people (myself included), usually the same people, because they have the same taste in lovers (bad). I have suggested that they give actual polyamory a try, and they reject the idea wholeheartedly. I think they get off on their dynamic, and far be it from me to try more than the bare minimum to dissuade them from it.
A couple months back, they got into a fight and broke up (again) because T (who was unemployed at the time) stole $50 from C (who works at GameStop) so that he could pay for a tank of gas (using C's car) to go hook up with another guy a couple states over. C was not upset that T was hooking up with another guy (because he was Also hooking up with that guy and knew he would not have a leg to stand on), but because of the stolen money + car.
C and I currently live together, because you can't afford an apartment on a GameStop salary, and also, like I said, he's my boyfriend. I'm making carnitas tacos next Friday, and T is coming over, because despite everything, he has nothing else to do on a Friday night. I know that C and T are going to get into a huge fight, and I know that it's probably either going to end with them getting back together out of spite or with someone's vehicle getting keyed--I'm betting on both.
Here's where I think I might be the asshole. I would really like to get inbetween them. Not in a "I don't want you to date each other" kind of way, but in a "holy shit you are both so insufferable i would like to get in on that" kind of way. I currently have my thing with C, and I've hooked up with T once in the past, but I would really like to make it official with him as well.
My plan is as follows: C and T are going to be in the same space again next Friday. They're going to fight, then hook up, then get back together again. C is one of those cybersexual "i built my own computer and run it on Linux" people, which is to say, he thinks tiktok and youtube are evil, and he he thinks spotify premium is supporting megacorporations. So, his sex playlist for T (we do not have our own sex playlist) is just an actual folder of mp3 files.
While C is at work, I'm going to log into his computer and change several of those mp3 files to DJ Crazytimes' Planet of the Bass, which I play often, and he is frequently annoyed by. My hope is that he'll realize it was me, he'll come and yell at me for ruining their hookup, T will take my side to piss him off, and the tension will get to the point where they let me join their hookup, and I can ask to date both of them after that.
To be clear, I recognize that I'm also Incredibly Toxic for enabling and encouraging this behavior. That said, I feel like I'm justified in this scenario considering C and T are both Also toxic, and furthermore, it is a known fact that I'm dating C right now, so for them to hook up, C would technically be cheating on me. I asked C's sister (a childhood friend of mine) for her take on whether it would be funny or just annoying, and she just told me that we all deserve each other, so I think I should be good. Am I being uniquely shitty here?
Community Label: Mature
when u remember mid-fuck that you and your wife made your safeword "undertale" as a joke so now you have to breathily moan "undertale" mid getting-your-ass-destroyed
Community Label: Mature
Sexual themes
Seriously though, modern fandom, y’all need to remember that you can, like, ship multiple ships.
Like I can ship two ships that are diametrically opposed, at the same time, because I like both ideas. You don’t have to choose one or the other.
Like I can ship, for example, Sam/Frodo, and also Sam/Rosie, both AT THE SAME TIME. I don’t have to pick ONE couple and denounce all others, and tell everyone else that their ships are WRONG and BAD and mine is the only TRUE AND CORRECT ship.
Related: You don’t have to sink other ships to sail yours.
Exactly! You can have more than one ship. You can have an ARMADA!!!
Ship everything and ship it so hard you end up sideways in the Suez.
You can also have conflicting gender/sexuality headcanons about the same character. This character is aroace to me but at the same time he’s also gay ace but also bi and in a poly relationship with his best friends. All of them are interesting interpretations, why limit myself to just one?
i hope everyone with acne, eczema, vitiligo, psoriasis, dermatitis, and skin conditions have a good day today
thanks guys while im here PLEASE put an acne option on your picrews
i learned that there's a Japanese beetle that when eaten by a frog will haul ass through its digestive system and escape out the back end unscathed (x)
you eat me and i perfectly dodge all of your digestive enzymes and stomach acid and i sprint out your asshole fully intact
ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOP RSTUVW(X)YZ
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